I went out to dinner with the wife, the roommate, and the little un. At some point, my wife said something self deprecating like “yeah, we’re celebrating me getting laid off”. I responded without thinking about it “No, we’re celebrating the new opportunity this is opening up, whatever that is.”. Then I thought for a second and said “Damn, what happened to the old Paul?”. I would have never said something like that a year ago. Then both her and the roommate said “That’s because your subliminal is working,” at pretty much the same time. I can certainly feel the changes that these subs have made, and there have definitely been outward results, but it’s cool to hear that others have noticed too.
I just bought the gift certificates that will get UMS for the wife so we’re committed to running it together.
We’re actually both kind of excited about it.
My thinking is still almost entirely positive. When I was taking a shower this morning (my most negative thoughts used to come out in the shower). I was thinking about all of the vacations I’d like for us to take, and it wasn’t “wouldn’t it be nice” it was “where should we plan on going. This sucker is amazing. It may take some patience to get there, the universe has to do quite a bit of re arranging, but I really have no doubt that better times than I was thinking before I started this are right around the corner.
While I was driving in to work tonight I was thinking about my thought patterns. I realized something. Our financial situation would be causing the “old me” to be crawling out of his skin with stress. Even when I was on LTU I felt quite a bit of stress about it, and that was before my wife got laid off. Today I realized that as bad as it could look on paper, I feel zero stress about it. I mean none, zip, zilch nada.
It also seems to be helping me have the energy to keep up with my absurd number of work hours. I didn’t used to like working overtime, but now while there are still overtime hours to work, it seems a matter of course that I get every penny I can while the getting is good. This opportunity isn’t going to last forever, and I’m going to save as much as I can in the meantime. Heck, next week and perhaps the week after I’m going to work seven twelve hour shifts, and I’m actually looking forward to it. That gives the bigger better manifestations the time to happen.
I do wake up tired as hell in the morning, (not from the sub) but that goes away as soon as I’m up and I just feel determined to do what I need to.
Quick addendum for tonight. I am having that euphoric feeling I remember so well from the USLM1 day’s. It suddenly came on, but I’ve been, not exactly visualizing some pretty great outcomes most of the evening, and that seemed to throw me into it. I’m a very verbal thinker, so I kind of describe the outcome in my head as if it already happened, and I go there. I feel happy as hell right now. I’m also having that feeling of wearing a fuzzy helmet pretty intensely.
The low number of loops seemed strange at first, but this one is very different. I can attest that it works on bloom and more Is definitely not better. I’m on rest day number six, and it’s hitting a lot harder than when it was playing or a few days after.
I’m still feeling intensely focused seven days after running a single loop. Whatever my subconscious is doing, it’s really on task. I haven’t felt bored once in all these hours of extra work which amounts mostly of sitting there. I also haven’t had to fight sleep once despite working 72 hours a week of overnights. My co workers are asking me how I do it.
The wife starts UMS tomorrow night. I had an interesting conversation with her tonight. She said that she feels that she is in a downward spiral. She said that she feels that there’s no hope because she is 39, has MS and has no job. I asked her what would help and she responded with a list of ways of getting money by extreme luck.
I told her that I wasn’t sure how things would get better, but I knew that we could make it happen. It didn’t feel like a platitude either.
During that conversation I felt a sensation that I can only describe as backpull from or relating to her. I’ve been feeling it throughout my sub journey this year. I have been doing everything I can to rise and become the man I was always supposed to be and she is so scared of change, or me growing beyond her, or some other bloody thing that she at least subconsciously tries to pull me back down to the depressed hopeless place that I was and she still is.
It feels kind of like dragging someone up a mountain who is letting you do the work and occasionally tries to go back the other way. I’m stronger so I am making progress, but not as much as I could be if she was pulling in the same direction.
Hopefully that ends tomorrow, as she’s finally going to start on an advanced sub. It was the right catalyst for me, hopefully it will be for her too.
(08-01-2019, 01:52 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]The wife starts UMS tomorrow night. I had an interesting conversation with her tonight. She said that she feels that she is in a downward spiral. She said that she feels that there’s no hope because she is 39, has MS and has no job. I asked her what would help and she responded with a list of ways of getting money by extreme luck.
https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Treati...-Body-Work
I had a female co-worker that has MS and swears that ROLFING helped her MS. No, it didn't cure it. But, it gave her mobility.
If you pursue this method of treatment. You need to find a qualified Massage Therapist that studied and practices ROLFING. It is very deep tissue, beyond the pressure you would receive from an everyday massage.
I’d like to thank Darthxedonias. I was reading his journal and what he said about knowing a lot of guys who were willing to settle for whatever life they fell into and just exist was inspirational. You see, I’ve been like that. For way too long. And it’s my own fault. I limited myself to what I believed I could get since I was a kid, and my beliefs were formed from a toxic childhood, bad parents, and a crapload of other stuff. I’ve actually done fairly well considering all that, but I’ve also dug myself into a life that I do not find satisfying, and isn’t anywhere near the one I wanted to live when I was nineteen and had a burst of optimism about life at the end of high school. I let myself slide into mediocrity by focusing on the wrong things and taking things that weren’t that important too hard. Shannon actually helped me come to that realization with our conversation on his journal discussion thread. (The one about how romantic partners screw up and abandon relationships with guys they perceive as more valuable than they deserve). I have wasted a good 15-20 years of building the life I want and becoming the extraordinary man I am meant to be. Well SCREW THAT! I am that guy, and I’m making my life match that from here on in.
(Loop in progress here guys, and it’s effecting me).
I originally got this sub to get out of financial trouble. Well, that’s not going to do it anymore. This is allowing me to go much higher than out of trouble. The life I want involves having a considerable amount of money, and so I will get it. I don’t quite know what that looks like yet, but I still have the sense that my subconscious knows exactly what it’s doing and I need only trust myself to get there.
The wife is doing her first loop right now as well. We started at the exact same second to symbolize being in synch, and I think maybe some of the euphoria I’m feeling might be us somehow resonating with each other. I will ask her how she felt as soon as the loop ends and keep you all advised.
Sorry if this isn’t as coherent as my stuff usually is.
(08-01-2019, 02:52 AM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (08-01-2019, 01:52 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]The wife starts UMS tomorrow night. I had an interesting conversation with her tonight. She said that she feels that she is in a downward spiral. She said that she feels that there’s no hope because she is 39, has MS and has no job. I asked her what would help and she responded with a list of ways of getting money by extreme luck.
https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Treati...-Body-Work
I had a female co-worker that has MS and swears that ROLFING helped her MS. No, it didn't cure it. But, it gave her mobility.
If you pursue this method of treatment. You need to find a qualified Massage Therapist that studied and practices ROLFING. It is very deep tissue, beyond the pressure you would receive from an everyday massage.
Thanks, we’ll look into that.
Ok, I’m back on earth now. Man, that was intense. About ten minutes into my loop I started to get this very powerful feeling. It’s hard to describe. It wasn’t the same euphoria that I used to get on USLM1 and the other night between loops of UMS. It was an extremely determined feeling, but not like the long road to go type of determined. It’s kind of like the last few seconds of a wrestling match just as you complete a pin. I have it, I know it and so does everyone else. I just have to keep doing what I’m doing for a little while longer. Victorious and powerful, yeah, those are the right words. The feeling was so intense that I’d describe it as a high. I rambelingly described the thoughts that went with it up there.
No report from the wife other than she felt an intensified tingeling in her feet (she often feels that, MS symptom) and she got very sleepy, so she went to bed right after finishing her loop. I’m expecting her to be wiped out tomorrow as this is her first run on a 5.5G sub.
Edit: I just got a huge attaboy from some serious higher ups at work. Apparently I stopped something really bad from happening. This may turn into an opportunity of some kind.
(08-01-2019, 10:35 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]I’d like to thank Darthxedonias. I was reading his journal and what he said about knowing a lot of guys who were willing to settle for whatever life they fell into and just exist was inspirational. You see, I’ve been like that. For way too long. And it’s my own fault. I limited myself to what I believed I could get since I was a kid, and my beliefs were formed from a toxic childhood, bad parents, and a crapload of other stuff. I’ve actually done fairly well considering all that, but I’ve also dug myself into a life that I do not find satisfying, and isn’t anywhere near the one I wanted to live when I was nineteen and had a burst of optimism about life at the end of high school. I let myself slide into mediocrity by focusing on the wrong things and taking things that weren’t that important too hard. Shannon actually helped me come to that realization with our conversation on his journal discussion thread. (The one about how romantic partners screw up and abandon relationships with guys they perceive as more valuable than they deserve). I have wasted a good 15-20 years of building the life I want and becoming the extraordinary man I am meant to be. Well SCREW THAT! I am that guy, and I’m making my life match that from here on in.
(Loop in progress here guys, and it’s effecting me).
I originally got this sub to get out of financial trouble. Well, that’s not going to do it anymore. This is allowing me to go much higher than out of trouble. The life I want involves having a considerable amount of money, and so I will get it. I don’t quite know what that looks like yet, but I still have the sense that my subconscious knows exactly what it’s doing and I need only trust myself to get there.
The wife is doing her first loop right now as well. We started at the exact same second to symbolize being in synch, and I think maybe some of the euphoria I’m feeling might be us somehow resonating with each other. I will ask her how she felt as soon as the loop ends and keep you all advised.
Sorry if this isn’t as coherent as my stuff usually is.
I sincerely hope you're using headphones while listening to two different copies of it at the same time, because ANY difference in the start time when you do that will overload you a lot worse than just listening to one copy will, and that will kill any benefit you get.
You will need to either use these on headphones so you're not getting double exposed, or listen to one copy at the same time; that's how I expose myself and GF, I just play a copy on my phone as we are falling asleep.
I was at work forty miles away. I work overnights. But for the record we were both using earbuds.
(08-02-2019, 11:36 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]I was at work forty miles away. I work overnights. But for the record we were both using earbuds.
I have learned to make doubly sure there is no misunderstanding of what I'm trying to convey whenever possible. Just making sure. :
Earbuds or speakers, it doesn't matter if you're not within earshot of the other person's audio.
Today I had a long involved dream with multiple coherent stories going on at the same time. The one that I remember is that I was guarding a prison, and I figured out that a group of inmates was planning an escape attempt. I knew it, and kept searching their stuff and finding things that indicated that I was right. I couldn’t get the higher ups to believe me though. They complained to the warden and I was told to stop harassing those poor inmates. The management just didn’t seem to care that there was something bad happening, they just cared about what the public would think if they told their families (or lawyers or whatever) that I was harassing them. I don’t have a clue what this one might mean.
I woke up feeling the same mentally exhausted but physically well rested feeling that I’ve gotten before. I had a bunch of visual stuff going on behind my eyes and drifted back into a dream state briefly. I don’t remember what that was, but I was still awake and aware that it was a dream state.
The wife reports that she senses that it messed with her head. She has been very tired and sluggish all day.
I'm not surprised. That is what I expected from her. It suggests heavy resistance from her. How many loops/dayson/ days off are you guys doing?
(08-02-2019, 02:46 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not surprised. That is what I expected from her. It suggests heavy resistance from her. How many loops/dayson/ days off are you guys doing?
As far as I can tell she feels about the same way I do and I seem to be executing quite well. On the surface I’m as stubborn as she is but I seem to execute the heck out of subs.
For now we’re both doing 1X1 7X0. That seems to be working well for me, and I want to see how she reacts before we start messing with things. Overload might be really bad for her.