Deleted - violates Rule # 16
Very interesting. I’ll look into that, and see if I can convince her to try that. Thanks.
4Kingdoms, your post violates Rule #16. Please remove it. And Paul, please remove his post from yours.
I’ve had enough hovering around on this boring dead end job. It’s been two years since I lost the job I wanted and I have been staying where I’m at because I was afraid to try and fail again, more afraid than I wanted to admit to myself. That ended last night. I applied for three jobs. Two were exactly what I want, and one was something that can lead into it, and pays well in the meantime. I’m back at it with a vengeance, and I’m coming at it stronger than ever thanks partly to the subs I’ve been on for the last year, and partly to just being ready. This is my calling, and I’m not going to be kept out of it.
I think I’m going to buy both LCF and ARA. I might try using LCF as an instant on before written tests, and ARA before interviews.
Interesting, I saw Shannon say on another journal that the program is supposed to focus on what’s preventing execution first. From what I can tell from the above experience, it’s really going after a sense of inadequacy, inferiority, whatever you want to call it that somehow survived six months of LTU5. It’s making me face the fact that I’ve been hiding in a dead end job to avoid being rejected in hiring processes and possibly failing again if I’m hired. However, I don’t feel bad about that. Before the subs, if I had a realization like that, it would make me feel like crap about myself. Now, I just kind of matter of factly recognized, and move on.
ME: I’ve noticed a lot of internal stuff in the last few days. I don’t know how much of it is actually new, and how much has been going on for awhile but has flown under my radar. The first one really caught me by surprise. I was indulging in a kind of a daydream that I have had at least since I was on USLM2 and noticed that FRM alters your perception of memories. In it, I am able to go back to the time I left my first college, and the time I moved to a different state to attend my second, but I’m able to bring the latest and greatest subs with me so that I can get to work on my issues much earlier in life. This is about an eighteen month period starting around the turn of the millennium. It leads to me thinking about what I’d run, and what I would do differently in life.
I generally think that I’d still go to the same college at the same time. Then I thought that with some changes I could have kept the first girl I dated when I got there. Or that used to be how I thought about it. Not this time. I went through it, and said “not her” when I got to that point. It was a pretty strong reaction, with almost an “ick” feeling behind it. That’s new. I go into more detail in my LTU journal, but this girl has been stuck in my head for over a decade for some reason and it’s caused me all kinds of mental angst far longer than it should have.
That caused me to think about the relationship. When we were together, I didn’t have real strong feelings for her, but I kind of convinced myself that I did after the fact. Judging from how I felt when some things happened during, what I did have was a major sense of attachment stemming from fear. (Ditto with the two relationships before that). I was with her because she was available, I wasn’t that attracted to her, but didn’t think I’d be able to better. When she left due to her own issues, it confirmed a negative image of myself, and I took it badly. (Edit: This was the girl I had the dream about a month or so back, so there must be some real heavy stuff tied to her in my mind that FRM is working on)
Now, I can see that I could have done much better had I just moved on. There were opportunities aplenty, but I missed them because I was using being stuck on this girl as kind of an excuse not to take any more risks. I may have missed out on a lot.
I think this is the work of FRM, and also UMS increasing my sense of my own value, not just in the present, but also letting me see that I had a much higher value in the past than I thought I did. Sorry for the long auto psychoanalysis, but this one really hit me over the head, and writing helps me think it out.
Also, when I first started listening to USLM and even when I started UMS I was able to really visualize getting to my immediate financial goal and feel the relief and happiness that I will. That’s gone away. But not like I’ve lost sight of it, or don’t think it’ll happen. I realized that it’s because it might as well already have. I don’t dwell on it anymore, and I have no fear of it not happening. It’s like I’ve watched the movie many times, I know how it ends, and I’m kind of bored with it now.
WIFE: she reports that she is having weird dreams that she can’t quite remember almost every night she’s exposed and many nights when she’s not. Her general mood keeps getting better, and she still loves her job, and is going the extra mile to make herself more valuable.
Oh, I almost forgot. The gun that my dad’s business partner’s shop made for me came. They’re a high end custom shop, and they really went all out. This is something I couldn’t have afforded right now, and I didn’t pay a penny for it.
ME: I’ve read several places that this sub kind of works in steps. You get to one set of financial goals, and then you pick another target, get there and go for another one. That really seems to be how it is for me. We’re getting very close to achieving the original goal for starting the program. That is getting to a stable financial position where we have enough income to cover bills and necessities without worry. As soon as I have the house clean enough for an appraisal, I can pull the trigger on that, and I’m getting to that point fast. I’m beginning to sense that there’s more after that, but I don’t yet have a concept of what that looks like. Still focused on this step.
Tonight I’m getting an odd urge to run more loops. We’ve been running them all night on weekends for the last few weeks so my wife gets more exposure, and it’s seeming to work for both of us. I wasn’t sure that it was optimal for me, because I’d been responding well to one loop a day and lots of days off. Tonight though, I had the urge to run an extra loop at work, so I did that, and now that that’s done I feel compelled to run it through sleep phones while I sleep this morning. I wondered why I felt the urge to do that, and the answer that surfaced was that I needed to to break through the last of the resistance and get down to deeper levels of my subconscious than it’s ever been able to before. That’s funny because I don’t feel like I’m resisting, but it felt true and certain, plus it’s a pretty strong urge, so I’ll go with it. That’s not really normal for me, I usually like to have a concrete plan and stick to it.
ME: Strange things are afoot in my subconscious. I got four loops in through my sleep phones, and likely would have done more, but I don’t sleep more than that on a work day. After getting up, I felt a strong urge to run more loops tonight at work. I wondered why I was having these urges to run more loops when I’ve been responding to minimal loops so well. Here’s the weird part. My subconscious, or some part of it answered me. No, I’m not hearing voices, but a fully formed sentence popped into my head, and it definitely wasn’t the normal part of me that forms language. It said that they needed some more help back tracing my fear to the source. They’d gotten further than ever, but needed it to go deeper. I got the impression that the sub had somehow “drilled through” whatever was between me and this part of my subC that gives good advice, and now it could talk to me directly (Shannon, is this supposed to be happening?).
It makes sense in the context of the things that have been coming to the surface in the last week or so. I also get the impression that the feelings, and signs (morphine drip ect) have leveled off. My subconscious is focused on doing the deeper stuff so we can see much more complete execution. I don’t think it’ll be much longer either.
Does this make sense to anyone?
(10-11-2019, 05:55 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]ME: Strange things are afoot in my subconscious. I got four loops in through my sleep phones, and likely would have done more, but I don’t sleep more than that on a work day. After getting up, I felt a strong urge to run more loops tonight at work. I wondered why I was having these urges to run more loops when I’ve been responding to minimal loops so well. Here’s the weird part. My subconscious, or some part of it answered me. No, I’m not hearing voices, but a fully formed sentence popped into my head, and it definitely wasn’t the normal part of me that forms language. It said that they needed some more help back tracing my fear to the source. They’d gotten further than ever, but needed it to go deeper. I got the impression that the sub had somehow “drilled through” whatever was between me and this part of my subC that gives good advice, and now it could talk to me directly (Shannon, is this supposed to be happening?).
It makes sense in the context of the things that have been coming to the surface in the last week or so. I also get the impression that the feelings, and signs (morphine drip ect) have leveled off. My subconscious is focused on doing the deeper stuff so we can see much more complete execution. I don’t think it’ll be much longer either.
Does this make sense to anyone?
UMS is designed to allow your subconscious to guide you in how to use the program according to what you in particular need. It is also intended to foster cooperation and communication between your conscious and subconscious minds, so they can work together to accomplish the goals of the program. So yes, that is one way that it can happen when you are executing, and it makes perfect sense.
(10-11-2019, 07:17 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (10-11-2019, 05:55 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]ME: Strange things are afoot in my subconscious. I got four loops in through my sleep phones, and likely would have done more, but I don’t sleep more than that on a work day. After getting up, I felt a strong urge to run more loops tonight at work. I wondered why I was having these urges to run more loops when I’ve been responding to minimal loops so well. Here’s the weird part. My subconscious, or some part of it answered me. No, I’m not hearing voices, but a fully formed sentence popped into my head, and it definitely wasn’t the normal part of me that forms language. It said that they needed some more help back tracing my fear to the source. They’d gotten further than ever, but needed it to go deeper. I got the impression that the sub had somehow “drilled through” whatever was between me and this part of my subC that gives good advice, and now it could talk to me directly (Shannon, is this supposed to be happening?).
It makes sense in the context of the things that have been coming to the surface in the last week or so. I also get the impression that the feelings, and signs (morphine drip ect) have leveled off. My subconscious is focused on doing the deeper stuff so we can see much more complete execution. I don’t think it’ll be much longer either.
Does this make sense to anyone?
UMS is designed to allow your subconscious to guide you in how to use the program according to what you in particular need. It is also intended to foster cooperation and communication between your conscious and subconscious minds, so they can work together to accomplish the goals of the program. So yes, that is one way that it can happen when you are executing, and it makes perfect sense.
The part that guides you in use is definitely working, and it’s not subtle. It just switched on all of a sudden too. The communication with the subconscious isn’t subtle either, it’s all of a sudden just there, and I can have a full conversation with it.
(10-11-2019, 11:43 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (10-11-2019, 07:17 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (10-11-2019, 05:55 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]ME: Strange things are afoot in my subconscious. I got four loops in through my sleep phones, and likely would have done more, but I don’t sleep more than that on a work day. After getting up, I felt a strong urge to run more loops tonight at work. I wondered why I was having these urges to run more loops when I’ve been responding to minimal loops so well. Here’s the weird part. My subconscious, or some part of it answered me. No, I’m not hearing voices, but a fully formed sentence popped into my head, and it definitely wasn’t the normal part of me that forms language. It said that they needed some more help back tracing my fear to the source. They’d gotten further than ever, but needed it to go deeper. I got the impression that the sub had somehow “drilled through” whatever was between me and this part of my subC that gives good advice, and now it could talk to me directly (Shannon, is this supposed to be happening?).
It makes sense in the context of the things that have been coming to the surface in the last week or so. I also get the impression that the feelings, and signs (morphine drip ect) have leveled off. My subconscious is focused on doing the deeper stuff so we can see much more complete execution. I don’t think it’ll be much longer either.
Does this make sense to anyone?
UMS is designed to allow your subconscious to guide you in how to use the program according to what you in particular need. It is also intended to foster cooperation and communication between your conscious and subconscious minds, so they can work together to accomplish the goals of the program. So yes, that is one way that it can happen when you are executing, and it makes perfect sense.
The part that guides you in use is definitely working, and it’s not subtle. It just switched on all of a sudden too. The communication with the subconscious isn’t subtle either, it’s all of a sudden just there, and I can have a full conversation with it.
Good. Now use it to understand and erase your core fears. And then when you do understand them, e-mail me what's going on on the back end, so I can finish developing FRM without giving away the secrets to the world.
(10-12-2019, 06:14 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (10-11-2019, 11:43 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (10-11-2019, 07:17 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (10-11-2019, 05:55 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]ME: Strange things are afoot in my subconscious. I got four loops in through my sleep phones, and likely would have done more, but I don’t sleep more than that on a work day. After getting up, I felt a strong urge to run more loops tonight at work. I wondered why I was having these urges to run more loops when I’ve been responding to minimal loops so well. Here’s the weird part. My subconscious, or some part of it answered me. No, I’m not hearing voices, but a fully formed sentence popped into my head, and it definitely wasn’t the normal part of me that forms language. It said that they needed some more help back tracing my fear to the source. They’d gotten further than ever, but needed it to go deeper. I got the impression that the sub had somehow “drilled through” whatever was between me and this part of my subC that gives good advice, and now it could talk to me directly (Shannon, is this supposed to be happening?).
It makes sense in the context of the things that have been coming to the surface in the last week or so. I also get the impression that the feelings, and signs (morphine drip ect) have leveled off. My subconscious is focused on doing the deeper stuff so we can see much more complete execution. I don’t think it’ll be much longer either.
Does this make sense to anyone?
UMS is designed to allow your subconscious to guide you in how to use the program according to what you in particular need. It is also intended to foster cooperation and communication between your conscious and subconscious minds, so they can work together to accomplish the goals of the program. So yes, that is one way that it can happen when you are executing, and it makes perfect sense.
The part that guides you in use is definitely working, and it’s not subtle. It just switched on all of a sudden too. The communication with the subconscious isn’t subtle either, it’s all of a sudden just there, and I can have a full conversation with it.
Good. Now use it to understand and erase your core fears. And then when you do understand them, e-mail me what's going on on the back end, so I can finish developing FRM without giving away the secrets to the world.
I realize you are joking here, but I think I may have an idea that comes partly from this new contact with whatever it is in my subconscious. If you’d actually like to hear it, I’d be happy to share. If not, I won’t bother you with it. It might take me a while to word it, I don’t really have the understanding of what these subconscious entities (lack of a better term) who do the resisting are, but I do at least think I might have an insight.
ME: That “voice” showed up again. This time it may have prevented me from getting very sick.
I have a bad reaction to mushrooms (the edible kind). I don’t know that allergy is the right word, because it doesn’t cause me anaphylaxis, but if I eat some the next few days will be ............. unpleasant.
I was going to cook and eat a bowl of noodles thing, when I got a distinct flash of “you better read the ingredients before you eat that”. I did, and sure enough it had mushroom extract in it. I don’t know if that would hurt me or not, but I opted not to test it. Especially at work.
I haven’t had a distinct conversation with my “inner voice” again, but there is definitely something still there. I’m getting a lot of thoughts that aren’t normal (nothing bad) mostly about the nature of fear and what’s been causing it for me, but some about things in my life.
I really get the impression that this thing has always been here, but the sub has made a hole in some kind of barrier between it and my conscious mind so it can now communicate more directly.