UMS. Let’s get at it

[Paul1131]

ME: I got an interview for one of the jobs I applied for. The starting pay Ranges from a little higher than what I’m making now to considerably higher. I have a LOT of experience in this field so I doubt that I’ll be starting at the bottom of the scale. This is not quite the job I want, but it’s more active and interesting than what I’m doing now, and will apple me to practice most of the skills that I’ll need. It’s also a lot shorter commute so I’ll save money on gas.
This seems to fit a pattern. When I’m not feeling a sub working for a while is when something external happens. When I started this one, I had a clear sense that all kinds of things were not only possible, but right around the corner. That’s gone away. Not that I no longer think they’re possible, but I don’t think about them as much. I think that means that my subconscious is busy making it happen rather than focusing on good feelings about the future. I’m content to focus on day to day life while it arranges the manifestations and whatnot. The one thing that I do constantly feel is the auric shield. I’m aware of it more than once every day. I’m getting a sense of heat on my chest area randomly. It’s intense enough to almost be a bit uncomfortable.

Wife: she loves her new job.

[Paul1131]

ME:  I went to an event with my family on Sunday, and as it was ending, we were talking to a vendor who sells ears of corn.  They just gave us a huge bag or really good sweet corn.  It’s not that big of a thing, but not normal and helps with the grocery bill.  
I called my mortgage guy, and we worked out a plan to use some of the extra money we got to raise the wife’s credit score so we can finally get this refi done and get the excessive bills off of us.  He also told me that it has risen enough already that we could go ahead with it anyway If we had to.  We are just going to do it now so we can get a better deal and lower payment.  This is finally going to be done after a year of struggling with it, and multiple incidents where it looked like it was going off the rails.
I was out running some errands today, and I noticed that I was walking around the store like a king.  I’d had more confidence in public on LTU5, but this is a step above that.  I didn’t feel it as much, it was just natural and normal that I walk tall, make eye contact with everyone, and speak to people in a deep resonant voice.  I kind of felt myself inflate when I walked in, but other than that it’s like I’ve always owned the place wherever I am.  I don’t think that the me from a year ago would recognize me.

[ncbeareatingman]

ME:  I went to an event with my family on Sunday, and as it was ending, we were talking to a vendor who sells ears of corn.  They just gave us a huge bag or really good sweet corn.  It’s not that big of a thing, but not normal and helps with the grocery bill.  
I called my mortgage guy, and we worked out a plan to use some of the extra money we got to raise the wife’s credit score so we can finally get this refi done and get the excessive bills off of us.  He also told me that it has risen enough already that we could go ahead with it anyway If we had to.  We are just going to do it now so we can get a better deal and lower payment.  This is finally going to be done after a year of struggling with it, and multiple incidents where it looked like it was going off the rails.
I was out running some errands today, and I noticed that I was walking around the store like a king.  I’d had more confidence in public on LTU5, but this is a step above that.  I didn’t feel it as much, it was just natural and normal that I walk tall, make eye contact with everyone, and speak to people in a deep resonant voice.  I kind of felt myself inflate when I walked in, but other than that it’s like I’ve always owned the place wherever I am.  I don’t think that the me from a year ago would recognize me.

Wow That's some hellafied growth Paul. I have similar experiences as well. USM2 is gonna be even deeper,a whole nother orbit!! Keep rocking it Paul!!

[Paul1131]

ME:  I went to an event with my family on Sunday, and as it was ending, we were talking to a vendor who sells ears of corn.  They just gave us a huge bag or really good sweet corn.  It’s not that big of a thing, but not normal and helps with the grocery bill.  
I called my mortgage guy, and we worked out a plan to use some of the extra money we got to raise the wife’s credit score so we can finally get this refi done and get the excessive bills off of us.  He also told me that it has risen enough already that we could go ahead with it anyway If we had to.  We are just going to do it now so we can get a better deal and lower payment.  This is finally going to be done after a year of struggling with it, and multiple incidents where it looked like it was going off the rails.
I was out running some errands today, and I noticed that I was walking around the store like a king.  I’d had more confidence in public on LTU5, but this is a step above that.  I didn’t feel it as much, it was just natural and normal that I walk tall, make eye contact with everyone, and speak to people in a deep resonant voice.  I kind of felt myself inflate when I walked in, but other than that it’s like I’ve always owned the place wherever I am.  I don’t think that the me from a year ago would recognize me.

Wow That's some hellafied growth Paul. I have similar experiences as well. USM2 is gonna be even deeper,a whole nother orbit!! Keep rocking it Paul!!

I’m looking forward to that one too.  Though I must say I’m REALLY looking forward to the next LTU.  I think that I may dedicate three months of every year to LTUage from here on in just to keep myself centered in the long term, and I’m sure the next one will blow me away.  
Glad to hear that you’re kicking butt on UMS too man.

[Paul1131]

I’ve not mentioned something that’s been happening since I was on USLM3 last fall (I think that’s when it started anyway. Often when I’m falling asleep, I get this weird feeling in my chest. It’s kind of like a sudden adrenaline surge like you get when something surprises and scares you, but it’s a bit more gentle and the weird thing is it doesn’t actually raise my heart rate or have any other physiological effect as far as I can tell. At first I was afraid there was something medically wrong with me, but I don’t think so. It may be sub related.

[Paul1131]

ME: We finally have a version of FRM that kills my nervousness in job interviews.
I interviewed for a panel for a job today. I didn’t feel any anxiety at all. I used to every time, and it really got in the way. I was very energetic and personable, had a great answer for all their questions, and did a good job of presenting myself as the ideal candidate for the position which I am highly qualified for. I don’t know if I’m going to get the job or not, and I’m actually not worried about it. Something just came over me when the interview started. It felt very natural, but thinking back it was amazing.
I’m just really pleased with the improvement in my interviewing ability. Near crippling nervousness was the big barrier I had to having the career that I wanted. It’s prevented me from getting many jobs that would have been the start of my “real” career. Now that barrier has been broken, I can work on adjusting what I do and say in interviews until I get where I want to be. It’s a great thing wether or not I get this particular job.

WIFE: she tried to quit UMS. Her thinking was that now that she’s gotten a new job, she doesn’t need it anymore, and she was too tired to stay up and run it through headphones. I talked her into just running it with the speakers on her iPod while she went to sleep and shes doing that. This is definitely resistance. She actually got upset when I suggested that she keep running it. That tells me that her subconscious is at the point where it has to either fully execute or run away. It tried to make her run, but it didn’t work.

[Shannon]

Increase her exposure. Once I found a way past my girlfriend's resistance, she stopped fighting it. It means she's not getting quite enough exposure.

[Paul1131]

Increase her exposure.  Once I found a way past my girlfriend's resistance, she stopped fighting it.  It means she's not getting quite enough exposure.

Ok, should we wait until the next time she’d run it, or start that now?  I was thinking of telling her to run five or so loops while she slept.

[Shannon]

Increase her exposure.  Once I found a way past my girlfriend's resistance, she stopped fighting it.  It means she's not getting quite enough exposure.

Ok, should we wait until the next time she’d run it, or start that now?  I was thinking of telling her to run five or so loops while she slept.

I don't know how many loops she's doing or how long it's been since you had loops.  I'm finding that gf and I are running loops about every 4 days off to keep both of us from having it wear off enough to resist.  My question is, is she going to try to resist more if you wait for that 4th or later day when you tell her to run 5+ loops?  And really I think 5 would be the minimum I would try.

I have taken to running loops whenever I start seeing signs of resistance in my girlfriend.  But like I said, resistance simply means she isn't getting enough loops, and/or loops frequently enough.

[Paul1131]

ME: I went to a jui Jitsu class on Monday night. That’s something I’ve been involved with since I was a kid, and always loved. I haven’t been doing it for years because of money and time concerns as well as what I may as well admit is depression. It felt great even though I’m more than a bit rusty and my body definitely doesn’t respond like it did in my twenties.
The next day I felt like I’d been beaten with a bag of doorknobs. I should have been moving very slowly and not doing much, but I’ve got to get the house ready to be appraised. That’s the next step we have to take to improve our financial condition, so I was on it and got an amazing amount of work done. There’s still a lot to do, but there is noticeable progress, and that feels great.
This morning it hit me that I have absolutely no negative thoughts about finance at all. I am absolutely sure that my plan for getting us out of financial trouble will work in short order, and everything will be good from then on. Matter of fact, I’m thinking like it’s already happened. The phrase “were back on an even keel and we’ve got the wind at our backs”. went through my head repeatedly today. That’s a little odd, I’m not a sailor and don’t tend to think in nautical terms.
I also got stuck in traffic on the way to work this afternoon I was very close to being late. What hit me was how calm I was. The thought of being late for work used to really freak me out because I’d always try to be perfect and falling short upset me. This time, I just fighred it would be ok because I’m never late and a lot of my co workers are.

WIFE: There has been a major change in her. She had a couple of days where she was very frustrated at something. She told me what was frustrating her rather than taking it out on me. If anyone wonders why this amazes me, see my LTU journal. Funny thing is, I don’t think she noticed.

[Shannon]

If your wife's personality is the type I think it is by the sounds of it, that personality type is very instinctual in their thinking and not necessarily very good at self awareness.

[Paul1131]

If your wife's personality is the type I think it is by the sounds of it, that personality type is very instinctual in their thinking and not necessarily very good at self awareness.

Sometimes she seems to be like what you described, and sometimes she’s in her head and micro analyzing every little detail and nuance of everything she sees thinks and does.  That often leads her to be as critical of herself as she was of me.  It was one or the other, and flipped randomly.  Lately she seems to be finding some middle ground.

[Paul1131]

WIFE: The President of the company she’s working for told her that she is the go to person for a certain commonly used business program. She has helped a member of the board of directors do things with it on a number of occasions and other higher ups as well. This looks good for her being hired full time in a few months when her contract with the temp agency is up, and perhaps paid more.

[Shannon]

If your wife's personality is the type I think it is by the sounds of it, that personality type is very instinctual in their thinking and not necessarily very good at self awareness.

Sometimes she seems to be like what you described, and sometimes she’s in her head and micro analyzing every little detail and nuance of everything she sees thinks and does.  That often leads her to be as critical of herself as she was of me.  It was one or the other, and flipped randomly.  Lately she seems to be finding some middle ground.

That is good to hear.  I smell progress.