Transcendental Sith Lord's UMSv2 Journal/ Few weeks of E5

[DarthXedonias]

I will admit I literally have no real interest in writing journals anymore which is why I haven't even really been on here. Don't really read people's journals on here except maybe Superman's but that is because he ran UMSv1 for so long that I was interested in seeing how his V2 run would go. I probably on get on here to read Shannon's journal mostly or the discussion journal that is I even get on. Its funny as I have gotten through the trauma I've found myself coming on here less and less. However I have been thinking for a long time now that I maybe need to still talk about things I could maybe give some insight that might help Shannon or might help someone else along the way. So despite me really not wanting to do this I will though this might only be for like a month because I have already been running UMSv2 since it came out and once Stage 4 comes out I will probably run that for a month. 

I do want to start off saying I agree with Shannon's decision to make this multi stage because I found out I am one of those people that gets subconscious boredom at about the 3 week mark. So given that its good this was multi stage instead of single stage. I doubt this would have kept my interest for so long if it were just single stage. As for some results, I ended up getting a new job that I might have mentioned before and passed my test on the first time so that I wasn't in training status anymore. I decided to work on moonlight shift since it pays the most at about 31.50 USD per hour. I did end up starting that second bachelors degree in computer science. the end of this month will be the last of my first term. Wasn't able to work fast enough to finish the degree in the first term but I did make enough progress that now I should only have about 17 classes left or so to finish the degree. I will see if I can finish during the second term. 

Another financial thing that helped out was that I wasn't getting my monthly housing allowance from the military as part of my education benefits. Eventually I contacted the VA department at the school regarding this just recently and they pointed me in the right direction. So I should actually be getting back pay as well for all this. So I will actually probably sometime this month get 4,500 USD to 5,000 USD in a lump sum. This is important for another reason. I recently decided I will probably be getting a very large multi family house or apartment complex in either Latin America or the Philippines (as I was plan before). In order to do this instead of trying to get a rent to own agreement I decided I will just go the old route of trying to get a home loan. In order to do that I have decided to clear up something on my credit so my credit score will be really high again. Thanks to getting this lump sum this will be just what I needed to clear up the major 2 things (possibly clear up a 3rd thing as well) that are affecting my credit rating. Once those things are done and I get a new high paying programming job I should be able to save up and get a preapproved home loan with no issue. 

This all worked out in the end as I'm sure had I resolved this monthly payment issue earlier I would have not even saved any of that money. I would have just used it up as I wasn't even thinking about clearing up my credit till like 3 weeks ago. I probably would have stupidly used it on trying to day trade or something. That is another thing that has changed. Before i would have thought about running this sub to make it big in the markets but that has changed at least for now. For now I'm just concentrating on my career with the second degree (and eventually masters degree from a top tier online program like Stanford or Georgia tech) and doing things like clearing up my credit. Essentially I want to focus first on things that will definitely and "predictably" give me good returns on my investment. Once I have those things then i can concentrate on things that might be more risky or more "hit or miss" when it comes to returns on what I might invest. So i might trade options when I have some downtime between this bachelors degree and when I start the masters degree. I want more sure fire ways to make income first then work on things that might be more risky. 

Now the reason why Latin America is on my list now is because quite frankly my love life (long distance) has been booming. Have multiple women who are completely fine with sharing me, etc. Many of them from either Venezuela or Colombia. Still have many Asian women as well including the one chick I might have showed in one of my previous threads on the old forum. So doing quite well in that area and quite frankly at the same time I know what non neediness means now and no giving a shit. I literally say what I want to with all these chicks I interact with and call them out on their bullshit when appropriate. I don't even give a crap if I lose the girl or not. If she can't take the truth or take any ounce of responsibility I am willing to drop her out of my life because quite frankly she is probably not someone I would want to be in a relationship with anyway and there are like a billion other women on this planet I can get with anyway. 

My whole mentality has changed around things as well. I just don't give a shit about what people think. I think once I got the realization that at the end of the day reality is the only thing that matters in the end and if your opinion doesn't line up with reality why the fuck would I care about your opinion? People who's opinions are warped on things or totally out of alignment with how things really are end up making bad decisions based on bad data or emotions. Why would I care about the opinion of such people? In the end such people don't get anywhere in life. Reality has a nasty way of coming back to slap people to the ground who don't want to learn the lessons that it is trying to teach them. I came to the conclusion i'm here to enforce my emotions, ideology, etc on to reality. I am hear to learn from reality, learn the way it works, and its principles then once I know those things I can use them to my advantage to get to where I want to go. Simple as that... unfortunately the majority of people want to do the complete opposite instead usually with bad results. The only reason I would listen to someone's opinion now is if they are talking from a place of reason and logic on important issues (obviously is its less important stuff that requirement won't matter as much). 

I think thats about an overview of everything so far. In Stage one it just felt like clearing, in stage 2 it felt like I was having some kind of spiritual awakening in a way. As if all the principles that were the foundation of my life so far were being shifted. In stage 3 its felt more like a take action now type stage hence the why I believe the impulse to clear up my credit and get the bank loan eventually. I'm sure there have been some other things I've missed but this is the general overview so far. As for the future I'm not totally sure yet. I'm thinking I might either run E5 to get some more deep clearing totally done with so that all the other subs will run better overall or I might run the new DMSI possibly despite already having that taken care of. Might be able to get some sex while I'm still hear before I head off to latin America (most likely at this point) or the philippines to meet up with the chicks I have in mind. I should mention threesomes are already on the table with this group of women so works for me. 

I do want to tell Shannon I do from the bottom of my heart appreciate what he has done with trying to get to 6G. I feel like with the the introduction of the FRM 5.0 and 5.75.7 that was the major turning point for me where I was seeing major changes. Kind of makes me wish I had waiting to suggest MLS until 5.75.7 and FRM was done but alas I think I can either run a clearing sub for a few months to clear out things completely then make MLS work better or wait until MLS 6G is out. Either way its good to finally seem like I have a handle on life due to this upgrade in tech and I have changed a lot. I know longer run from pain or hardship I am willing to face it down and overcome it if it means I become stronger as a person in the end. That does remind me as well of how I finally got over the subconscious fear of death. It was sometime during Stage 3 and I was listening then its as if a certain part of my subconscious that was executing revealed something to me. 

What was shown to me was quite interesting. The flashing in my mind of a large country side of rolling hills all filled with tombstones and graves. The graves marked with my name. The point being of it saying to me "Why are you afraid of death? You have already faced it and overcome it thousands of times before. Every time you have "killed" something within you that you know you needed to change in order to move forward or to better your life you have faced death, died and overcome it to become even stronger. There is no reason to fear it". Of course as Shannon has said death isn't really permanent, it is a change of state and nothing else. I am inclined to believe but even if you take the subconscious interpretation if change = death... then you have already overcome it before then why be afraid of it still? Once that realization hit me I finally realized that I had overcome so much and I literally cried with the idea that "I can overcome anything now and I will overcome it". Since that time a fire, a strong will has been inside of me just burning. Wishing to overcome the next challenge. I don't hide from it... I want to face it and overcome it. Genghis khan was wrong in his supposed idea of what is the greatest feeling in the world. No, the greatest feeling in the world is to overcome and in particular to overcome aspects of yourself. I see Change as no enemy now but an ally. I want to move with it, not against it and to learn from it. Change is the thing that makes this world in "some way" perfect already. The thrill of moving with Change and learning from it makes it all the worth wild for me. 

Anyway, that is about it for now. Will stay on probably stage 4 for a month then will see where I move on to after that.

[Qiel]

Damn that's rockin journey, I'm moved, especially the death realization. It's give me some helpful insight. Thanks for that and good luck!

[MegaMan]

Superb read. That last paragraph was very Nietzschean.
Always enjoyed your posts here and hope you will also chime in in the future.

Wishing you continuous success
MM

[Superman]

Hey, I appreciate that you read my journal. I've been feeling the same as you have for a while. Journalling less and less the more subs I use. I really just come for Shannon's updates as well.

I'm really enjoying UMS2 despite the turbulence in my life. Which I think I'm embracing it as an opportunity for change.

Cheers brother

[DarthXedonias]

Damn that's rockin journey, I'm moved, especially the death realization. It's give me some helpful insight. Thanks for that and good luck!

Glad I was able to give some insight for you which was what I at least hoped for when starting to journal again. 

Superb read. That last paragraph was very Nietzschean.
Always enjoyed your posts here and hope you will also chime in in the future.

Wishing you continuous success
MM

Thanks, hope your journey goes well too. 

Hey, I appreciate that you read my journal. I've been feeling the same as you have for a while. Journalling less and less the more subs I use. I really just come for Shannon's updates as well.

I'm really enjoying UMS2 despite the turbulence in my life. Which I think I'm embracing it as an opportunity for change.

Cheers brother

Hmmm I say do embrace it. I will be quite honest I don't feel much negative feelings like pain, sadnesss, depression or anything like that anymore. Mainly because I see no point in it but also when hard times come I just "devour" the negative aspects and redirect it automatically. Now that I think about it maybe it could be one of the shields doing this but It feels like even more than that. I can not be touched by people's pettiness any longer. I also do truly believe as was once said in a fictional world now "Chaos isn't a pit it is a ladder". I would add on top of that that Chaos is the time in which you see men who are a cut above the rest either survive or thrive because they aren't panicking like the rest of the population would. In every thing that might appear to be a difficult situation foisted upon you try to find the opportunity in it. I can guarantee you if you look hard enough you will find it. Even if its something as simple as a lesson to be learnt for the future.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, I think I already know which sub I will probably be running as I do seem to be getting extreme amounts of TID at the moment. If I am correct I do think I will be running DMSI after my month of time on stage 4. It could still change because I do remember shannon saying something to the affect that you can even get TID from a timeline that you ultimately decide not go down. Which makes sense given the whole "future being constantly in motion" aspect. Though its undeniable at this point that I am getting some kind of TID from it given that I'm getting the usual "waves" i feel at times that tell me a sub is influencing me. Its hard to explain but its like I will be doing something then all of a sudden I just feel like a wave crash into me. Its like I feel something suddenly shift and I concentration and wonder what has changed. I think a good analogy would be that matrix scene with the black cat and dejevu. Its like i sense that then all of a sudden I'm trying to figure out what that was and what has changed.

I felt this towards the end of the shift where previously I'm not even really thinking about women at the moment and about how I'm going to reach my goals over the next year. So I go into the store to pick up a few things during my break before my shift ends then before I know it I'm noticing certain women and how I just want to have sex for fun before I head to Asia or Latin America (hopefully to live remotely and therefore live there as a base of operations). Like before I wouldn't have given a shit about doing any of that hear as quite frankly after traveling enough I have to say women in first world countries seem to have the worst attitudes possible which just turns me off. However due to personality changes and definitely becoming more dominant, shit tests don't affect me really and if the shit test is really annoying i'm just going to next her. Also if all I'm doing is having sex with no intention of a real real relationship which I would be honest about from the beginning why would I care if it was long term or not?

My thinking has clearly changed. Before I wouldn't have even bothered with something unless it was long term but now that I have a more abundance mindset I don't give a crap really. "whoopie do" there is a woman I'm not having sex with anymore or won't see again... so? There's like billions of other women on this planet that I can get with. She isn't some special or unique snowflake. I do think this also had to do with UMSv2 directing me to Rollo Tomassi's (The Rational Male) videos on youtube who quite frankly is the only "red pill" person anyone should be listening to anyway. Seems to be the only guy with any good analyzation of situations from a biological and sociological perspective and hasn't commercialized like so many guys in that sphere. I think I was directed to those videos for a reason in order to kind of rediscover my masculinity to a degree which I clearly have. So I'm kind of hoping at this point if I can reasonably get my degree done before hand or mostly done (I think by the end of this month I will only have 16 courses left in my CS degree program) then i will have some time to breathe a bit and have fun I guess. Also I guess its due to fear reduction but I find the idea of making women just totally hot and bothered through DMSI and totally have genuine desire for me quite appealing instead of the "fear" response it used to have. I think part of what fed that fear response was watching too much nonsense on false rape accusations and divorce rape. Not that those things don't happen.. nor happen more often than believed but when your constantly consuming that stuff your just putting this fear of women into you. "Most" of the time that shit is avoidable if you are being careful about the situations you put yourself in.

In other news things are still going quite well on this sub. I feel really confidant in myself and where I want to go. Also I don't know if this is something left over from MLS or its the "learning what you need to learn" part of UMS but I just find it easy to learn stuff now and actually remember it almost automatically. Like sometimes I wouldn't even be paying attention much to something then the next time I encounter the information I instantly recall it no issue. As if a part of my mind was working on that info in the background for a while. I truly believe once we get to MLS in 6G that will definitely be a game changer. I also think even with just that sub I can reach the levels of intelligence I need in order to revolutionize AI in the CS industry. I'm highly confidant that I can do that with the abilities these subs can afford me.

Other than that not much to say. I feel more like a person who rather do than talk. Talk is cheap, action shows you what a person really believes. So for now I'm just concentrated on getting this degree, trying to clear up my credit a bit, get a high level tech job and then get a housing loan in a few months for a place most likely in Latin America. As of now I'm highly leaning towards Buenos Aires, Argentina. Land of very good meat and wine. Still have other places I can decide on but that's where I'm leaning at for the moment. Eventually after all that is settled down with then I will apply for a top tier masters CS degree online at a top tier university. As of now Georgia tech, Stanford, Univesity of illionois and University of Texas at Austin are the main candidates. Things are looking up and much better than even just a year and half ago. As long as the tech keeps on improving I see things getting even better.

[Shannon]

The tech is getting better in 5.8G, and it will be better still by 6G. I'm not looking forward to mining Beast 18 or doing a line by line audit/optimization of the entire skeleton script for 6G final, but those will make a significant difference.

The next program I build will most likely end up being 5.8 G.

I would love to see my work be useful for people doing great things with their lives.

[DarthXedonias]

The tech is getting better in 5.8G, and it will be better still by 6G.  I'm not looking forward to mining Beast 18 or doing a line by line audit/optimization of the entire skeleton script for 6G final, but those will make a significant difference.

The next program I build will most likely end up being 5.8 G.

I would love to see my work be useful for people doing great things with their lives.

I can't really imagine how powerful and efficient 5.8 will be. For me the jump between simply 5.75.6 to 5.75.7 was huge along with the added FRM 5.0. So to go from 5.75.7 to 5.80 seems like it would be an even bigger jump. Like others I am feeling some mad TID ... like extremely, no resistance whatsoever TID from DMSI. Like literally during such events I feel like I could easily get with even famous porn stars if I wanted to. After having these feelings a few times I can no understand your "cautiousness" concerning free will. Like when I've had these instances it feels as though I could literally have anyone I want. Its just whether I feel like pursuing it or not. 

In other news for this journal I would like to say UMS did manifest something. So basically my current job has a bunch of Vaccine raffles going on. When it was going to get started I thought I would like UMS to help me win the top prize of a 55 inch 4k UHD TV. I thought that a few weeks ago then afterwards just mainly forgot about it. Low and behold a few days ago I got a message (was 2 days old) that I had won a prize. I told the guy I would be able to come on Monday (today) to pick it up. Asked him ahead of time what I won but he didn't respond to that part of the message. I get there today on my day off to pick it up. Find out it was one of the 55 inch 4k UHD TVs. So yeah, no doubt the beliefs installed in me by UMS had a lot to do with that. If the TV were worth at least 1k I would have probably just sold it for the money but at most its only worth about 500 USD. So I will just keep it and will sell my old one for a little bit of cash. Already have someone I know who will be buying my old TV off me within 2 weeks. So got an upgraded TV for free and going to get a couple hundred in cash from selling my old tv soon. So UMSv2 at work it seems. 

Other than that only other thing to report is that I passed another one of my university courses that was giving me a really hard time due to the course material not being organized well. It was the CPU architecture course. Ended up passing it by just one question. A pass is a pass however. Due to that being one of the most difficult courses in the whole degree the other 2 I plan on finishing by the end of the month should be easy. By the end of the month I should be down to 16 courses left for the degree which shouldn't take long at all to complete. I think I should be able to finish this degree definitely before my next term is done (March 30th). I'm thinking I should be done sometime between October and December 31st. Once that's done I will do some more projects for my github, Job searching, resume tweaking, and studying a lot more on Python and Java most likely. Will be aiming for a Remote job right off the bat but if not I should still be fine. I will just work in the US while paying off the property in Latin America or Asia then go live at the property when I have time off or when eventually I get a remote job offer. 

That's about it for now. Just working at reaching my goals little by little.

[RTBoss]

That's great. There are, however, 55-inch 4k TVs retailing on Amazon for less than $500. They're insanely cheap these days. But a win is a win.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, I think this will perhaps be one of the most important posts I have ever made (probably at least top 3). I am not kidding when I say this either. Honestly I don't know really how to explain fully what happened though I will to the best of my ability. One thing is for certain whatever level of the subconscious these subs are talking to is not something to be taken lightly.

Basically it seems this part of my subconscious has been playing chest this entire time. All these last 4 months was leading up to this one point and apparently the part co-operating was playing the long game. This is why I would say its important to stay with the sub despite resistance. The part of your subconscious that is co-operating might have a trick up its sleeve that it needs time to play. It can't do that if your constantly flip flopping or running away from your fears.

It really started with me just asking some very pertinent questions about existence and getting back down to basics really. In this case the basics were survival and such which I know sounds very different from a money sub but little did I know this was all going tie in months later. I think I said before that stage 2 for some reason gave me this sort of inner spiritual renewal type feeling. Like I was getting at some very pertinent questions about existence itself and the nature of reality sorted out. For example with the survival thing one thing that became obvious is that a lot of people have beliefs that certainly if they were out in the "wild" as it were they wouldn't have or else they would be dead. It led to this whole idea of us having beliefs that that in reality don't actually work and don't actually keep us safe. Or maybe they kept us safe at one time but now we treat it like some immutable law and it holds us back in other contexts (Jeez, this almost sounds like something in Shannon's field of work).

Another thing that came up was one of the fundamental problems us humans have. The idea that our "beliefs" = truth. Since believe our beliefs equal the truth we don't even really question them. I think the whole point of thinking of thesse things was to redefine what safety actually entails. Once I realized we have certain things we believe that out in the wild (think back millions of years ago while we were running on the plains of Africa) we wouldn't have many of the fantastical or sometimes unreasonable ideas we have now because then we would get immediate feedback on such bad ideas which sometimes entailed getting killed. This does get to a deeper meaning though of then what keeps you safe is what actually works in reality. On top of that that means you need to pursue the truth because if you make decisions based on bad information or lies (that you either heard from someone else or lies you told yourself to protect your  ego) you can also ended up in an unsafe place and/or dead.

So speeding along with this over the last few months I have been really digging into the meat and potatoes underlying reality itself actually. One other conclusion I came to was to take a more praxeology based method to the world than an ideological one. Many fields of study take a Praxeology approach to things (If this is true then what are best practices?). Where as Ideologies or belief systems tend to try to force their ideals  or emotions on to reality which never works really. I am here to learn the underlying principles that run this reality and once I know those best methods and underlying principles I can use them to my advantage to get to where I want to get to. I am not hear to yell at the world or reality for not being the way I want it to be or for it to accommodate me. This realization was reached maybe like a week and half ago I think.

However everything then came to a head yesterday , the 20th of September. So the night previously I was extremely drowsy which was abnormal though looking back I realize now why. It was that the sub was overcoming the most major part of resistance and it was about to play its final trick up its sleeve. So yesterday I had another one of my moments of realization I get except this was one of the most powerful ever. If I had to paraphrase the experience:

"Hey, you know all that different stuff you have realized or the last few months and have even noticed that "Belief system" = true fallacy in others"?

Yeah???

"Well funny thing is that wasn't just in the context of other people. That applies to you, here, here, here, and here"

"That can't be. - part resisting tries to make up excuse as to why its not true only to realize it already debunked that excuse when seen in other people the last few months".

"Checkmate.This whole time I was leading you on by showing you the truth from the perspective of other people but in reality it applied to you and while you were debunking all the untruths in other people you were debunking the same untruths you would sprout from your own mouth later on. So you have a choice now, either accept the truth and let go of all those things holding you back or accept the lie and now for sure you know your lying to yourself. Just don't forget what happens to people who lie to themselves in the wild. They make bad decisions based on bad information which then leads to consequence ranging from paying a small price to ending up dead. Lies don't keep you safe, the truth from a logical perspective does".

It was at this point the part resisting had nothing left. It gave in.  Also unbeknownst to me this entire time that other part had been working on an I don't know how to explain it but "alternate personality"? Or it feels more like a premade personality that was built up that could be swap in for when my current one once that part of me stopped resisting. This was also done for a reason in that another thing the resisting part tried to do was I can't change because I don't know how to act that way. Problem was when i looked back on it I realized when I came to certain conclusions I had basically been saying "well if this is true then how would I need to act and how would it feel like" to which I guess subconscious I would get a taste of what it felt like to be that way which was part of the personality building up process.

So in the end I had already had experience with how it would be to feel the way I would need to feel to cooperate with he sub and how to think. So like I said it gave in and there was a kind of happiness with finally giving in. A strength to be found in letting go. After letting go I felt this different personality I guess exert itself to being the primary as the old parts at least in my minds eye , for some reason, seemed to be dissolving in acid. It was weird as I felt this kind of burning sensation over my body as if it was in acid or something (obviously not as painful or anything like that).

One other thing happened as well which i guess has to do with the new personality though I'm not sure. My frame of reference for my identity is no longer the past but the future. Its like I had already this fully version of what it would be like if I fully co-operated with the script in my mind in some future place and as I had said I felt or knew what this would be like. So i got my identity from this future version of myself and my present self is based off of that. I would say how I am now is the basic meat and potatoes of what that person is. If I could say Stage 1 would be like all the clearing is already done and there is a basic foundation for the existing building with Stage 3 being the completed version. At this point I am comfortable in saying I am basically done with clearing and I have the basic foundation as it were.

One benefit I realized from this idea of getting your identity from the future instead of the past is that you become so convinced that that is how you are that you will self fulfill in a way to make yourself that way in the end. Its almost like a motivate technique. Even now when I think of that person I want to become I can feel it in my mind. I can feel the movements of that future self and the way the wind blows through his hand for example. His feelings, his moods, his mannerism, the way he talks, and the way others feel around him. This all feels as real in my mind as anything in reality. It feels more powerful and dynamic than basing my identity on the "dead" past. In this way since my identity is based on the future I am a lot more adaptable. I can move with change and see it as my ally not my enemy. I can change myself more readily to accommodate what the future brings because the future is always in motion and since my identity is based in the future and not the past it also means "what I am" is always in motion and in flux and am therefore comfortable with change and no longer see it as "death".

One other thing I should point out and I'm not sure if this was on purpose by my subconscious though I think it was. The dates of which this started and my first day  of the new me (today). Starting on September 20th...... and then today the 21st..... of 2021. I find that coincidence quite interesting. I don't know if maybe that was some inside joke or something. Either way i feel like a brand new person now. I can actually feel happy and actually feel comfortable with being happy. As if I have no longer any guilt or shame in feeling that way oddly. Once again if this is what this level of tech can do I can only wonder what the new DMSI will be like. I might have missed somethings but that was the gist of it. A total over hall of my personality and identity that was months in the making and the part cooperating was playing long term chest and the part resisting had no idea it was being led on the entire time. It thought it was in the drivers seat when it wasn't. It thought it remained unchallenged only to be blind sided later on and by itself and its own condemnation of all things. Once again I don't know what part of the subconscious this is but the fact that it planned this whole thing for months and waited for this one moment where it knew it would win.

Lastly though the funny thing is throughout the whole months I was running this sub I kept on wondering why I was having this kind of rethink of reality, its underlying principles and what is true as it didn't really have much to do with money yet but I kept on having this nagging feeling in the back of my mind at times that something huge was coming but it was being hidden from me every time I tried to search out what was going on. Now I know what that ominous feeling was and what was really going on in the background that I didn't see while the part that was resisting was being lead on.

I would just saying in closing to those still running to just keep on running the sub. The breakthru is most likely coming eventually and you just need time. Don't whimp out before you get to the finish line. At least get a Bronze medal for your efforts. If anyone has any questions or comments I'm all ears. Here's to the future people! 

[Chris P. Bacon]

First off your most recent post is amazing. I personally enjoy existentialism and its questions as well as hearing about your personal breakthroughs.

Second, I have personally derived benefits from your observations and growth. Your understanding has helped me understand some things as well. Thank you for sharing.

[Superman]

Just wanted to say congrats, and to let you know that I experienced a similar change this September that has completely shifted my reality and awareness

[DarthXedonias]

@Chris P. Bacon I'm glad my posts were able to help you in someway. That was the intention when forcing myself to keep journaling at this point.

@Superman Thanks and glad someone else is seeing this subs magic work.


I am definetly getting TID from DMSI I think seeing as I'm starting to notice more attractive women recently whereas before I wouldn't even care as much (Its more that I notice now but still remain unneedy). I have another reason to think this as well. To go more into my plan about buying property in latin America what I haven't devulged is that at this point if I end up doing that I already have 6 live in girlfriends lined up along with threesomes and all that stuff being on the table (I still also have the one Asian woman I still talk to who I'm pretty much going to be serious with. She is fine with the other women thing but not into doing any threesomes or anything like that). So what happened recently is 2 things really. (1) one of the most loyal and submissive girls asked if her cousin could join us. I have seen pictures and a video of her cousin and I have no problem really. Not sure if that will be long term or just something short term for her then she moves on to something else. Honestly I have so many women as options right now that I don't give a shit really either way. If its just something short term that's fine with me as I have plenty of long term options.

The second thing which is very pertinent is that a women that I had tried talking to before a long time ago (then tried messaging again quite a few weeks ago) actually finally out of no where suddenly contacted me yesterday and we had quite a good chat. Its funny because when I messaged her again weeks ago it was more of a lets just see what happens without really being too attached to it. I can remember thinking maybe a few days ago of "well, never heard back from her. Her lost really" (The abundance mindset has become my primary mindset at this point). After getting to actually know her and her personality I am actually quite interested in pursuing this. I'm still non needy really but for some reason I just have this confidence of success with her at this point. She is quite energetic and very feminine. She is a stylist and Fashion designer. So I am quite interesting in seeing how DMSI would help in that situation as I've noticed as I've grown with these subs the amount of women that actually impress me and interest me enough to pursue anything is a very small pool of women to choose from.

So with that I definitely have a primary target I am interested in seeing what DMSI can do. Also, I am interested in seeing domestically before I move out of the states seeing what DMSI can do. I have this intuition that it will hit women very very deep and they just might be putty in my hand in a way. At least that is the feeling I get when I get hit with these moments of TID that are obviously DMSI in nature.

As for UMS not much else to report. I am seeing things like the luck magnifier work in certain instances (getting a free items, etc). One thing I did forget to mention in my last post is that I did realize what my concept of wealth is apparently. Its not so much having a large amount of money in the bank or stuff like that. I think its more of a concept of having enough money set away for my wants, and not have to worry about my needs but also being able to just get what I want when i want it at the time. So the thing I think of when I think like this is like if I were to have some prestigious high up position at some company or some government job where it came with all sort of perks that the company paid for (like if I needed to frequently traveled, food, etc) but then I have my money I can dip into to to buy stuff as I want. So I guess sort of like the perks and benefits a high level executive would have or even a political leader. That seems to be what my mind considers wealthy. Not so much in pure money terms but can I get what I want and need when I want or need it.

Kind of glad I found that out. Either way I will try to update if something else comes up soon.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, didn't think I be writing back this quickly but I have.

First off I did end up spending 3,500 USD on a computer build which I did actually need (My customer made computers is the only really big purchases I make every couple of years and the only thing I would indulge in for pleasure really). However I did actually end up saving a bit because as some of you know due to the GPU shortage and bitcoin mining video card prices are ridiculous right now due to scalpers (as in 2 to 3 times the regular price). I was looking around weirdly enough and was able to come across an international seller who was actually selling a RTX 3090 graphics card for about 1,000 USD. I decided to do that since domestically scalpers are trying to sell that card for like 3,000 USD right now. Hell, even if you get a lower level card like the 3070 you are looking at 1,300 USD. So it will take much longer to get here but I am getting a better deal if the card is working as expected.

Secondly, as expected with this transformation I have undergone people that I used to maybe talk to or what not I no longer am very interested in talking to. For some of them I'm just not feeling it anymore or some of the negative qualities about them that I would have tolerated I can no longer do so. There was one Moroccan woman I was talking to who I forgot to mention changed her mind about us getting together right after my transformation. In one way I was actually glad as the Visa situation would have been annoying to figure out but on the other hand I do not like having my time wasted in someways which she basically did. In the end what's done is done really.

More importantly I've already decided to basically talk very little to if not at all to this one guy I've known for over the last 2 to 3 years. Basically as I've seen myself grown, especially over this UMSv2 run, i've noticed the issues he has and the nonsense he does at times more and more. Its gotten to the point that I can no longer tolerate it. I think there was one instance a few months ago where he mentioned something he was proud of and I didn't really congratulate him or something like that and he got pissed off for some reason. Like it was over something stupid. Like he was literally acting like a chick like when a woman will get pissed at some other woman for not complimenting her on her dress. That was one of the first major things where I started pulling away from this guy. Another was just this kind of stupid tribalistic, blame groups of people mindset he has.

I good example of that is he was working for an online teaching English company for teaching Chinese students (which I helped convince him to do for a while until he had something else set up though I did warn him that that part of the TEFL industry is kind of shady so be careful). I basically told him since he wanted to work remotely in programming eventually just work on the degree online (i suggested a highly affordable program that was non for profit and he could literally get done in 6 months which is also accredited) while doing this online teaching stuff. Kept on trying to tell him about this for like a good long time while he literally did nothing but waste his money on stuff he didn't need for like a year and half. Eventually the time came that China crackdown on the teaching English online and tutor sector because the sector was getting too shady and they felt like the sector was overworking the students on the weekends. So abruptly he gets let go from his job (while he's living in the philippines I might add). Luckily he did get the contact information for his students parents so he was able to network quickly and have some privates setup.

However the thing that was off putting was several. The first was after this he literally went on some almost racist tired against "all chinese people" because he got fired from a Chinese company which for some reason reflects on a whole group of people. On top of that he still didn't learn the lesson from all this. If he had listened to me and actually gotten the CS program done he would have already been out of that field before it got regulated for being too shady or he would have already had a backup plan and being making even more more money now. He's making decent money from the private students he has but he is literally getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a day. So yeah, not exactly the best way to be living. When I brought up again maybe he better do that back up plan I gave him just straight up rejected because "I don't feel like having to do a degree" essentially. Despite lets face it.. do you need it to work in the field? No... but if you want to work for the top tier companies in the field as soon as HR department sees no degree on on your application it goes straight in the trash from what I heard from some HR managers at prominent companies.

HR doesn't care if you "feel" like you have the skills and "feel" like you don't want to do a degree. Why would they settle for you when they literally have people from top tier university programs and lots of projects/internships on their resume? I heard this also from other people who have been in the field for a long time but said they had to go back to get that piece of paper because they could only go so high up the ladder without that piece of paper.

I think the last straw though recently was literally he got pissed because he was trying to sell me on form factor computers (I have way more experience with computers and building them than him for literally like over 14 years) and after looking it up I would have liked to but that would require me to change things I had in mind for my future build that would have downgraded it a bit. So I essentially told him this and told him , since he has an annoying habit of continuing to try to push selling me on stuff long past I'm not interested, "Its just not for me. You do you and I will do me. We just have didn't perspectives on that". Literally, pretty straightforward and I would think to a degree diplomatic I think. He then brought this up recently as some example of me trying to "handle" him, whatever the fuck that means at all. He couldn't even explain what that even means. If I tell you I'm not interested in something, I'm not interested in it and that should be it for normal people.

What makes this interesting though is this is the same guy who thinks he's so "red pilled" and "Alpha" but like I find in most guys in that community as soon as you hurt their "feelings" they all start acting like emotional bitches really. As soon as something bad happens or you hurt their feelings they literally act like emotional women. So why did I explain this? To vent might have been part of that but I think I'm kind of past the point of needing to vent about things anymore. I simply move on. I think the bigger point of all this is that now i've gotten to this point where I have the foundation made and my trauma cleared, I really have no patience for dealing with people who refuse to deal with their own issues or trauma. If they don't want to deal with and want to run away from their personal problems then why the fuck should I have to deal with it? One thing that is said which i like is this "Its not your fault or responsibility for the trauma you went through but it is your responsibility to deal with it".

Either way, I'm at this point where I'm done dealing with emotionally damaged people who either (1) Don't want help, or (2) Say they do but their actions say otherwise. I've put in my years in trying to heal and better myself. I've literally been on these forums since 2013 and been working on myself since then. If someone decides they don't want to deal with their trauma and issues that is on them but they better just not expect me to be hanging around them constantly if at all to have to deal with the manifestations of their traumas. I should point out obviously that people on this forum are an exception to this because most people on here are trying to better themselves and fix their issues which is the main reason why everyone is here.

Either way I have a life to live and work to be done and that does not include dealing with every single person's issues.