Transcendental Sith Lord's UMS Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Well, might have ran into some problems. First off I don't know why but no matter how many jobs I apply for I seem to just not get any replies back. I'm starting to think that the idea of not taking that postal job wasn't due to belief that I could do better but it was a sabotage effort. I just can't get any jobs in my area at the moment. With that in mind I have decide that even though my money is really, really low at the moment I will just get teaching Job in Korea with a private institution. It would be my first choice but I have relatives that are willing to help me out with money for my first 1 month there. Once I get past that difficult period I should be just fine.

As for the crypto thing I ran into one issue with that as well. Turns out the machines use a lot of energy, hence you have to make sure you are in a place where energy requirements are not high to keep making a profit. Luckily, I am still willing to make this work as this is one of the most profitable endeavors I can find. Since I will be traveling anyway, I will be more than happy to setup an industrial level farming site somewhere else to take advantage of low energy elsewhere. I will definitely try to make this work.

As for anything else not much going on. Besides a few internal stuff at times (like not giving up attitude, etc) I am not really seeing anything from this. Its like some part of me is fighting this tooth and nail big time. I just don't get what is going on. At this level of power for a sub I am still fighting this this though without giving the usual signs of tiredness, etc (at least at higher levels of usage). I don't know, am I actually experience stonewalling now or something? I just don't get what's going on and I am at my wits end. Obviously, I won't be giving up but I do admit this is discouraging to me. I would think at this level of power that I would be having no problem (on the job front anyway) but my subconscious has other plans I guess.

[PDjunkie]

Well, might have ran into some problems. First off I don't know why but no matter how many jobs I apply for I seem to just not get any replies back. I'm starting to think that the idea of not taking that postal job wasn't due to belief that I could do better but it was a sabotage effort. I just can't get any jobs in my area at the moment. With that in mind I have decide that even though my money is really, really low at the moment I will just get teaching Job in Korea with a private institution. It would be my first choice but I have relatives that are willing to help me out with money for my first 1 month there. Once I get past that difficult period I should be just fine.

As for the crypto thing I ran into one issue with that as well. Turns out the machines use a lot of energy, hence you have to make sure you are in a place where energy requirements are not high to keep making a profit. Luckily, I am still willing to make this work as this is one of the most profitable endeavors I can find. Since I will be traveling anyway, I will be more than happy to setup an industrial level farming site somewhere else to take advantage of low energy elsewhere. I will definitely try to make this work.

As for anything else not much going on. Besides a few internal stuff at times (like not giving up attitude, etc) I am not really seeing anything from this. Its like some part of me is fighting this tooth and nail big time. I just don't get what is going on. At this level of power for a sub I am still fighting this this though without giving the usual signs of tiredness, etc (at least at higher levels of usage). I don't know, am I actually experience stonewalling now or something? I just don't get what's going on and I am at my wits end. Obviously, I won't be giving up but I do admit this is discouraging to me. I would think at this level of power that I would be having no problem (on the job front anyway) but my subconscious has other plans I guess.

The thing about not taking a postage job I wouldn't say is resistance. I'd say it's knowing you're better than that. Without being rude or contentious, I'd realistically say a job in postage is a low/no skilled and low pecking order job that you know you're better than thanks to this sub and hence declined to take it. You should instead be thankful that you refused to accept such a position and have your heights set on higher things unlike the other 99.9% of the population who'll forever be stuck in menial positions with little to no influence on the wider world.

[Shannon]

Maybe doing less than 8 hours a day for day on end might be helpful. But first you're going to have to give it some time to chill.

[DarthXedonias]

Maybe doing less than 8 hours a day for day on end might be helpful.  But first you're going to have to give it some time to chill.

Yeah, I'm already on that. Granted I did kind of have a breakthrough when I came up with my plan but I did find it weird I got headaches, etc at low usage but then high usage I didn't get that for some reason. I will probably go back to possibly the original line out or 3 day then 7 days off. 

The thing about not taking a postage job I wouldn't say is resistance. I'd say it's knowing you're better than that. Without being rude or contentious, I'd realistically say a job in postage is a low/no skilled and low pecking order job that you know you're better than thanks to this sub and hence declined to take it. You should instead be thankful that you refused to accept such a position and have your heights set on higher things unlike the other 99.9% of the population who'll forever be stuck in menial positions with little to no influence on the wider world.

 

I have thought about that and you could be right. When considering the costs involved actually taking a private school job would give me more money left over than getting a 3,300 job here because costs in Korea are a lot lower. It could be that in the end this was what I was suppose to go with. Not to mention It would do a lot more for a DMSI run when eventually I'm comfortable with my results on this one. Funny enough I think I did find another solution to my mining issue and if it works out then I will be able to work things out just fine.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, there might be some good news but i'm being very cautiously optimistic about it. Essentially I did some more job searching and this time in China. I already applied to some recruiters for Korean English teaching but haven't heard anything back. It is a weekend so that might be why but technically its already Monday there. I did come across some very good job postings in China though and one in particular. It was offering pay for 2,700 USD per month which is 500 to 600 more than the last one I applied to in June I think it was. It would also enable me to have even more money (due to accommodation being provided) than if I got a 3k to 4k job here. So if this position is what I think it is then this would be very good for me. I emailed the recruiters a few minutes ago to see if it does provide accommodation and hope to hear from them soon.

What surprised me at first though is the amount of jobs with even higher salaries now. I then remembered something very important that happened recently though. I remember about 2-3 months ago apparently there was a huge crackdown in China on Foreign English teachers that aren't qualified. To give you an idea some of these are native speakers who don't have the requirements (don't have a degree or have a fake degree) and the others are Non-native speakers who are just take those jobs but for lower pay (which is still illegal since you need to be a Native speaker from an approved country). Apparently from what I remember a whole bunch of people got deported and the government implemented very harsh fines for employers who hire these unqualified people. Anyway, given the supply of teachers has crashed and a new school year is coming up it would make sense that wages would go up by quite a bit.

They are probably fighting over the amount of teachers that are left and aggressive looking for new ones to fill the void. Anyway, I hope this goes well. The more I think about it though I think this might be a even better plan than I thought. Just really hope this turns out to be what I hope it is because I'm kind of at my wits end at the moment.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, thought I would update since some stuff is happening.

I did get contacted back by this one guy for jobs in China. He's going to look around while I get my documents done again (with more money I really don't have) but if things workout I should be fine. I think I now realize my draw to China now. I just see a lot more opportunities for me business wise there then staying here. I think this might be why I was drawn to it during LTU as well. It would seem my bitcoin mining idea has lead to another good money making idea as well. Essentially, I plan on making my business in a particularly cold place in China (to keep the machines cool without the use of A/C) and I revisited the medical idea. Turns out in China there are quite a few universities where you can get a medical degree faster and quite cheaper than in the US for example. For example, it only costs up to 2k USD a year in order to study there.

So as is now I think for the first year there I will focus on my job, paying down any debt I have, and my business idea. In the 2nd or 3rd year I will focus on my business and medical studies. I did find out as well that the pay for a online doctor or Pharmacist is quite high as well. So I can literally do that while in any country I want. Hmm it does seem like my mind is working in ways that are seeing opportunities in a lot of ways. I think this is the plan I'm going to go through with. I honestly kind of want the medical degree for job security just in case something ever goes wrong with the business and not to mention it could easily help with purchasing new equipment for the side business.

One other thing I have noticed is that I got long amount of days without playing with 4 people I know on PS4 all that much. My interest was already waning already but now I just don't feel like doing any of that. I think its because I started to see what they really were as well. To give you an example of one of the other guys. He literally sits at his parents house cooking and doing whatever his parents tell him to do. Btw, his parents make him do all sorts of crap that takes up his time like he is some sort of work horse. On top of that he takes care of his other siblings that are handicapped in various ways. You can tell that he really gets tired of this and how he is treated but he just takes its.

He just spends his time entertaining himself to death with video games and shows. I remember when I said one time I planned on not coming back to the US at all he tried to scoff at this with the whole tired line of "Why would I want to go somewhere else. You have the best things you need staying in the US". I asked had he even been outside the US which of course he hasn't. I found this annoying and quite strange in that this guy obviously isn't living the life he wants but he is convinced that he's living the best way he can at the moment. I did notice this with too many of the other guys as well. They are just content with living through some fictional world (video games/shows, etc) and not actually doing anything with their lives. The only time they can feel "confidant" is by living through some character made of pixels.

This did remind me why I stopped reading or watching so called "red pilled" content as well. I think @Benjamin had mention he stopped dealing with such stuff in the past as well. For me it was because I would keep hearing this talk from them about self actualization and improving yourself but the majority of them that I saw didn't live by this. For many of them it seemed to them self actualization equaled simply having a "ok" job and getting to playing video games all day, etc. Don't get me wrong there were some that were quite successful and kept moving their lives forward but a lot of them weren't like this. Hell, even with women this was true in that I used to visit a discord of these so called guys and as soon as a women entered the discord they would start falling over-themselves to give her attention. In other words they acted really beta.

I think in the end here with this sub I'm just done with fake people and people not going anywhere in life. They might have dreams but they don't have the courage to pursue them. I only want to deal with people who are willing to do what it takes to get what they want out of life. I'm done dealing with lazy people or people who are willing to just settle for whatever they table scraps they have. I lived most of my life like that of being just fine with "good enough" but I'm just done with that.

Anyway, that's about all for now. Just going to get my documents ready and then hopefully this guy will have a job for me. Unfortunately, I might have to borrow from relatives to hold me over my next month until I get paid after getting a job over there.

[DarthXedonias]

Quick update

Well, I ended up having the financial means to get a third party to do the whole process of getting my documents ready for China. The person in charged said they should be ready by next week on Friday. Beyond that all I need to do is get a job offer over there to get the process going which won't even take long actually. It will probably only take within a week or so then I can buy my plane ticket over there. I might still see if I can get a good paying public school job over there because China actually has a lot of public holidays. So you get a huge amount of time off while still getting paid. Winter vacation I would get like a month off and Summer vacation I would get 2 months off with still some pay. I still get personal vacation days as well.

Besides doing that I haven't heard anything back yet from my contact. Kind of bidding my time at the moment which is incredibly boring to me. I hope at least in the end I end up in a city over there I actually like though I also admit after I get my finances settled I am interested to see possibly how the new DMSI might work over there. I've already established that when I'm in another country that DMSI seems to work just fine or I have no problem executing the program but when I'm in the US I don't want to execute the program it seems. It probably has to do with my horrible experiences in this current culture compared to my experiences with people from other cultures. I think if I take this leap I will find quite a few different possibilities will open for me I think.

I have been thinking of one other thing regarding my plan as well. I think before I start going to medical school I will probably wait until MLS 6g comes out then I will apply. I just want to make sure I have everything going for me and who knows maybe I might graduate early.

[Benjamin]

This did remind me why I stopped reading or watching so called "red pilled" content as well. I think @Benjamin had mention he stopped dealing with such stuff in the past as well.

Yep, i'm not sure if it was on WM at first but especially on E2 I lost interest in it. It really brought into my own anger issues with women that needed healing on a deeper level, and the comments sections amounted to guys who hate women going mental about them which doesn't help your mindset. It's better than the pussy stuff by society atleast, but it's just the opposite extreme.

I started to feel way better when I stopped reading it. Occasionally I might some, but then I start to feel depressed, as it makes you start to think the stuff they complain about is happening everywhere which it isn't. I've also found recently a few of the prominent people in that area have gone off the deep end.

The issue is it's hard to find good resources that is balanced. Alot of 'masculinity' teaching is absolutely horrible and then men teaching it have no masculinity at all that you can identify.

I mean i'm not really into reading 'material' anymore, but sometimes I feel like I want something to balance out the other bullshit that I see come up that's attacking men and disgusting men who will never need their penis or testicles trying to bring down other men in the hopes that some woman might one day pat them on the back and be like 'oh you're a good boy, who's a good boy'.

[DarthXedonias]

Yep, i'm not sure if it was on WM at first but especially on E2 I lost interest in it. It really brought into my own anger issues with women that needed healing on a deeper level, and the comments sections amounted to guys who hate women going mental about them which doesn't help your mindset. It's better than the meowmeow stuff by society atleast, but it's just the opposite extreme.

I started to feel way better when I stopped reading it. Occasionally I might some, but then I start to feel depressed, as it makes you start to think the stuff they complain about is happening everywhere which it isn't. I've also found recently a few of the prominent people in that area have gone off the deep end.

The issue is it's hard to find good resources that is balanced. Alot of 'masculinity' teaching is absolutely horrible and then men teaching it have no masculinity at all that you can identify.

I mean i'm not really into reading 'material' anymore, but sometimes I feel like I want something to balance out the other ***** that I see come up that's attacking men and disgusting men who will never need their penis or testicles trying to bring down other men in the hopes that some woman might one day pat them on the back and be like 'oh you're a good boy, who's a good boy'.

Yeah, I think for myself I got majorly into that stuff during a version of DMSI where I was majorly resisting it. I thought at first it wasn't but it became apparent I was just reveling in that stuff to try to resist it at the time. I got out of it like I said though as well because I just saw the hypocrisy and I really hate hypocrisy. I would see these guys in a discord beating their chest about how "red pilled" they are and they don't take no crap from anyone then a women would come seeking attention in the discord and they would act beta to all hell. There was one guy in particular I remember who was notorious for this. Preaching at other guys to be more like him while we saw him act beta as all hell to any women who came into the discord (he was one of the admins as well I might add). There was one time he even had the audacity to say that if all the men would act like him the country would be doing a lot better rofl. After that I and one other guy I talk to just stopped going to that discord. 

As for the other type of guy you mentioned towards the end I can't stand those types at all. I think they seriously lack some self respect and don't realize those same women don't respect them for what they are doing and they will just as easily destroy them in the end as well. I don't know if you heard this story but there was an update to it that kind of illustrates this. I think it was a year and half ago the co-creator of Screen Junkies (responsible for Honest Trailers) got accused of some things by a women. He lost his job, got divorced I think, and in general got blacklisted by the industry. He did take his former company to court and they recently settled with him. It was soon found out why though. He actually had text messages and a whole bunch of evidence showing that what went on went on for a while actually and was consensual. 

When this was found out this particular lady got blasted on social media and her only response was that she knew what "her truth" was and that she wasn't going to waste anymore energy on this. Basically she got found out for intentionally lying about a serious matter and was trying to ignore it now. What is telling about this story though in regards to your comment is what her boyfriend did. She literally was cheating on him during that whole thing was going on then lied to him by saying it was forced on her. Now that its revealed that she lied and was intentionally cheating what does he do? He backs her up and defends her and says the guy in question is still not a decent guy. I couldn't believe it myself that a guy could have such low self respect that he just takes it that his women cheated on him, lied to him that it was forced on her, proceeded to destroy another guy's life, and then when she is found out to have lied about everything just forgives her and defends her. I don't know what is with these type of guys that they just take this stuff from women and just stay with them.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, some good news to report. Over the weekend I sent a few applications to some schools and got a lot of replies. Might start interviewing starting tonight and might last for the next few days if I don't get one right away. The jobs do pay 2k+ per month, provided furnished accommodation, and even provides some meals on workdays. I'm probably going to interview with this one tonight that offers all that and no office hours and weekends off. If I can get that one it would be practically perfect for the next 1-2 years until I get involved in medical school over there.

Think it might be the sub but I feel like I'm just finding more and more opportunities for things while I'm researching my trip to China. I don't know why but I just feel like there isn't much opportunity left for me here in the states. Not saying that will be the same for everyone else but that is just how I feel at the moment. Maybe the sub really is pushing me to go over there. At the same time I think I will go with my original plan of working on my business and teaching for the next 1-2 years then once MLS 6G comes out I will switch to that then attend medical school over there. Shouldn't be too hard given that I found out a lot of these universities accept foreign students from poor places like Ghana and India. Anyway if all goes according to plan I should be done by the time i'm a little bit pass my mid 30s.

Anyway, that's about it for now. Hopefully, all this works out.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, definite updated needed.

I ended up getting a job in China. I did an interview with one company and then the chick said she would get back to me. Literally got back to me 30 mins later with a school in a less populated area that needed a teacher and we would do interview the next day. Well when I contacted her about if the school could do the interview yesterday (Last night actually) she said she would see with the school. That's when I got some actual better news. The school had already filled up the position but she contacted the school in one of largest Chinese cities (14 million people about) and the Vice Principle was willing to offer me a job. Mind you this was even without a second interview. Guy just wanted to hire me.

Also, it is for slightly higher pay than I was expecting. So I literally get 2.1k per month, free accommodation, free meals on school days, Winter new years off, and possible summer break as well. So, I will definitely be saving money with this job and have plenty of time off as well. Also there is no office hours so I am literally working only 25 hours a week lol. As for other things I talked with my mother and she mentioned how I wouldn't have to worry about storage before I leave as I can just keep my stuff here. Also she will give me a bit of money to hold me over until I get my first pay check. it turns out that right before this that my mother had gone to court with her previous job (health related concern) and they settled with her out of court. Hence why she has this money to spend. So it was quite the "coincidence" that she got that done with so I could have some financial support.

Also, will definitely work on my side business while I'm in China. Though what I might do first is do my stock option trading and then if I hit it big with that I will buy a couple of machines to run in China (with someone hired to look over them every once in a while) and also buy a house in the Philippines so I can retire early actually. Well, at least until another sub I want comes out. Either way things are looking up now.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, not much going on at the moment.

I'm just trying to get stuff submitted so I can get my visa. Still need to do a medical checkup which is going to piss me off because just doing simple medical check ups in this country cost lots of money due to the crappy healthcare system. Either way need to get this forum checked off before I get there.

One other thing that is bothering me though is the fact that I sort of keep on going back and forth if I want to do the medical school thing in China or not. On the one hand its relatively cheap but it will still take a time commitment. I had still thought about getting a masters in English and then getting a teaching online job but due to certain cultural differences there might be barriers to me doing that. Thinking about it really rationally my best bet would be to do the investing (like I mentioned in my last post) then use that money for my side business project. The thing about this is that once I get to making a certain amount of money each month that money starts to really compound into even more money by me buying more and more equipment.

I've already calculated that if I got to the point of investing about 100k into equipment I would be making literally about 240k a year. I realized as well that the money I would put into getting a masters degree could provide me with more gain if I used that money for investing in my side business. So as it is now I think I have a tenative plan. Since I will be waiting on a particular sub to be built and a lot of my future plans are banking on that it would make more sense for me to just concentrate on my side business and then if that sub comes out then go the medical route if I wanted to. Despite not needing the money from going the medical route I would probably still do it because there is a certain thing I would like to accomplish that would require that type of knowledge.

So that's the plan for now. Other than that being on my mind I've just noticed one other thing. The amount of satisfaction i would get from "sexual" things is down quite a bit. I feel like at this point if I had a regular women I was with I would probably just have sex and then afterwards go and do something more important. Like it really isn't that important anymore. Making money and climbing the social hierarchy is more important. Anyway, I will give more updates when I can or more important stuff comes up.

[Shannon]

What is your usage pattern now?

[DarthXedonias]

What is your usage pattern now?

I'm sticking with the original usage pattern of 1 loop, 1 day on, 7 days off. I felt like I should probably just not overdo it and do it by the original directions.