Wow ok, so I had a really bad day today. First I misplaced almost everything I used today. Then I find out the girl I was interested in at work is allergic to seafood and I love seafood so that messes things up a bit,she's no longer relationship potential bUT her body still functions perfectly for my purposes ,also there's always the other twin sister just in case
Then at work one of the coworkers was being really difficult and wasn't listening to my instructions, and I was getting really annoyed and I went off on him a little. Then almost right after that there was a big mix up with one of the customers and she got really bad service which probably will lead to a bad complaint and I feel a little shaken because I never make mistakes like that and one of my coworkers is trying to take all the blame for the situation but I won't let him if she actually complains.
I really hate the way I handle these types of situations. Any time a confrontational situation comes up I feel scared and nervous. My body sweats and my voice shakes and becomes higher pitched.my chest becomes tense and breathing turns shallow. I also hate the fear that I experienced when I think of the customer complaining to the boss or head office.
My nervous system never goes into fight mode only flight. When I catch myself responding in this way I try to force myself to hold my ground because I know how to do it,but it's against my nature the way I was raised to be.
I think the fear comes from a lack of abundance mentality. I fear that if the customer complains, I could possibly get fired or my bosses will be upset with me. Which also shows that I seek others approval and always desire for others to be happy with me, for them to like me. I let other people influence my emotional state way too much and I hate it.
All these things are the definition of a beta to me. I'm done with biabws, I'm starting my week off tonight and starting am6 next Friday.
Then at work one of the coworkers was being really difficult and wasn't listening to my instructions, and I was getting really annoyed and I went off on him a little. Then almost right after that there was a big mix up with one of the customers and she got really bad service which probably will lead to a bad complaint and I feel a little shaken because I never make mistakes like that and one of my coworkers is trying to take all the blame for the situation but I won't let him if she actually complains.
I really hate the way I handle these types of situations. Any time a confrontational situation comes up I feel scared and nervous. My body sweats and my voice shakes and becomes higher pitched.my chest becomes tense and breathing turns shallow. I also hate the fear that I experienced when I think of the customer complaining to the boss or head office.
My nervous system never goes into fight mode only flight. When I catch myself responding in this way I try to force myself to hold my ground because I know how to do it,but it's against my nature the way I was raised to be.
I think the fear comes from a lack of abundance mentality. I fear that if the customer complains, I could possibly get fired or my bosses will be upset with me. Which also shows that I seek others approval and always desire for others to be happy with me, for them to like me. I let other people influence my emotional state way too much and I hate it.
All these things are the definition of a beta to me. I'm done with biabws, I'm starting my week off tonight and starting am6 next Friday.
