Strumming my Brain with MLS 3.0 Journal

[Ampersnd]

Day 41,

I'm starting to think that I might run this sub all the way until New Year's Day. We'll see, but I feel as though gaining a breakthrough will not be worth much if it's during the last 30 days.

I woke up today at work, got ready and started my shift at 7:30 am. I was able to get my workload done, and I walked out at 3 pm. Drove home, and got there at 6pm. Did the second day of my exercise program, and added two exercises that target biceps. They work, because my biceps were popping right out while I was doing them. I think that they'll make my arms grow if I keep doing this.

I finished watching Season 1 for Dexter. Great acting from Dexter's character. I didn't do an acting session on camera today, because of the gym and guitar practice. I planned on doing it four times this week, so I can do it tomorrow for sure, and either Friday or Saturday.

Did a bunch of voice training during the car ride.

[Ampersnd]

Day 42,

I missed a day yesterday, so I'm considering that day bunk and pushing my progress back by that much.
But, I had a good reason; I was invited to be an extra in a movie. And so, I had to leave from work (of which I was doing extra), pick up some clothes, drive downtown, and go to the holding area. The shooting process is very slow and arduous. I arrived in holding at 6 pm, and wrap was called at 4 am. They signed me out at 4:30 am. Made about 100$ from it. Once you do a few films, you can join the union and command higher wages/get placed better in the shot. I chatted with a young woman, and she said that she was making 40 CAD per hour from this shoot. That would make 400$ for the evening.

It's hilarious that there are so many gorgeous women who hang out as extras. I have two beautiful blondes' numbers after this night.

The one, I have a feeling that she's got a boyfriend; I creeped her name on Facebook, and there's a photo of her from a month ago kissing some guy. But, she never mentioned her, and I was in conversation with her for hours and hours. Surely, she must have caught on that I was interested. Maybe she wants to cheat, or already has been. Or, maybe the relationship fell apart in 30 days. Who knows. The two of us might be getting ice cream tomorrow; she might have lost interest in me in the second half of shooting (or she was getting tired).

The other one ... well, she already loves me. She's been sending texts to me on and off today. We've almost got a date set up, just need to get logistics in place.

I got home, showered, jumped into bed around 5 am, and used 'Hypersleep' for two hours, and slept in another 15-20 minutes and got out of bed at 7:30 am. It worked like a charm; I was able to get to work 45 minutes later than usual (I set my own schedule), and I was MORE productive. This was in combination with '5 Hour Energy'. It's almost 10 pm now, and I feel fine. Due to the paragraph below, I'm starting to feel a bit drained.

I've been having some irresistibly strong sex drive as of late. I just have to let the pressure off, or else I get intense sex urges and look up freaky shit on the internet.

[Ampersnd]

Day 43,

I'm making leaps and bounds on 'Cliffs of Dover'. I've got 95% of the riffs down pat at full speed. The remaining riffs/solo are being picked up, but there are specific techniques that Eric Johnson does that need further investigating.

There's a course called 'Masters in Mechanics'. It talks about picking angle (which I've 'got'), stroke direction, number of notes per string, and which notes/riffs to play. I think in my case, I've mostly got motor mechanics (baring certain situations), but now, it comes down to economizing.

I need to do some soul-searching for what I want to do for the next 100 days for my challenge. Body-related stuff is now less prioritized, although I will continue doing it. I might also put aside languages, since they aren't connected to anything I'm doing.

That leaves main job, guitar playing, singing, side business, acting, and dating. I want to pick three things, and I still need to work on my main job. So that leaves two things. I'll very likely focus hard on guitar.

I've realized that when planning the steps towards your goals, your level of focus and commitment towards each step should take into account the amount of emotional resistance. It's easy to practice 3 hours a day when there's no fear about it. To 'game' in nightclubs for 3 hours, for me, at least, would discourage me from doing it the next time, due to the amount of anxiety I feel. Today, I went downtown, set a timer for 30 minutes, went to a nightclub, got a Coke (was given it, in fact), hung out at the bar, and hit the dancefloor for the past five minutes. I didn't talk to anyone, and I left satisfied. Why? Because I achieved my goal of entering a club and hanging out for 30 minutes. Last time, I walked around downtown, and entered a club, did the tour, and walked out. Next week, I'll dedicate a larger proportion of that time towards the dancefloor, and then maybe approach a woman in a nightclub. My deep voice has given me problems in nightclubs. It's baby steps, and it's not overwhelming. I leave the situation with some satisfaction, and it's being kind to myself and not beating myself up for not having had the exact neurochemical soup that would make me a socially alpha stud. But, there must be progress, even if it's tiny.

I've also realized that every dream position that many people covet are just as hard, if not harder, to perform correctly as it would for their current position. Not only that, it is very competitive, so you need to feed it intense focus. However, these dream jobs are ways for people to detach from what they want.

These weekly challenges can act as my primer for the next run of DMSI. After several of these weeks, I sense that I won't have many issues with going out in public.

[Ampersnd]

Day 44,

I had my two acting classes today. They went pretty well. I volunteered to go first, and I rushed through my on-camera opportunities. It's okay, because I got to watch everyone else have their turns. Then, the audition technique class was good; the teacher had us doing improv. My partner, a decent looking single mom, set up the scene as though we were going to make out on stage. I resisted because I wasn't sure she was seriously looking for a smooch. In any case, I offered for us to rehearse sometime this week. She agreed and gave me her number.

Earlier in the day, I saw myself on camera, and I look huge. I've just taken my shirt off right now, and I'm becoming jacked without even trying. Not in a lean way, but sort of a yoked way. Sure, it's the day after my cheat day, so that might have to do with it. But, generally, I don't eat all that much during the week. And my weight has been dropping. On the other hand, I found out that the scale at the gym is off. But the number it registers has been going down.

I'm planning on running another 100 Day Challenge for the remainder of the year. They are really learning-focused, and music-focused, with some emphasis on my other goals, because I want to improve these elements fast. I'm wondering what MLS 5.5G can bring. I've been using some version of MLS for the past year, and I've not made amazing progress in the elements of my voice that I want. The challenge will end on January 3rd, 2018 if I start tomorrow morning, which I very likely will.

[Ampersnd]

Day 45,

tl;dr: I fucked the girl from the acting class. We actually did 2 hours of acting work, but then we chatted on the couch, and she talked about pulling my hair. I pulled hers, and then I pounced. We made out, clothes eventually came off, and then we went up the bases. It was good. She has a post-baby body, though, so it wasn't the same as a flat belly and firm curves. Whatever, it felt good, and I get along with this woman in general.

I'm being careful about screwing around with a single mom.

Anyways, got a couple hours of on-screen practice, but I didn't get to practice guitar.

[Benjamin]

Nice man. Makes me curious, did you finish the energy session and what did you notice from it?

I sent an email enquiry about it but i'm hesitating. Nearly $400 for one session in my currency for something I don't even know much about, his description page doesn't really say alot.

[Ampersnd]

Day 46,

Hey Benjamin,
Yes, I did finally get the energy session done. It felt complete, and I've been much more in my body ever since. I can feel more energy in my body, and I'm much more present to the moment.

I've been able to improve myself by processing feelings that I would otherwise try to think through. On top of the fun I had yesterday night (ending a dry spell), I have another date coming up tomorrow, with a very attractive woman who is crazy into me. These things all happened after the energy session. In general, I feel different.

[Benjamin]

Very cool, that was mainly what I was wondering if you attributed it to the session, seems you did.

The main reason left I haven't emailed him to book a session is that in the video on the page it mentions that people get incredibly loud and these days i'm not usually home alone which makes that difficult.

But because of your results i'm gonna book my session. It should help with other things i'm doing to get trauma and tension out of my body.

Did he give you things to practice on your own? I don't know how many sessions are optimal, but it'd be expensive to do them regularly.

[Ampersnd]

Day 47,

Yeah, well it isn't perfect. I just had a major fuckup at the gym (but I wouldn't have been any better without this session).

Very cute girl working out alone near the end of my workout; so good looking, that this small group of guys moved to a machine a little closer in order to be within 15 meters. I didn't feel any arousal or anything in particular towards her, but I had the hunch that I should talk to her.

I walk up and say "I don't know you, but I wanted to meet you." and I introduce myself. She smiles and says her name. So here's where I fucked up. I wanted to be witty and say something like: "I felt bad because everyone is here in groups and you're hear alone, so I thought I'd keep you company." But, I wound up fumbling my words, A LOT, and it ultimately came out as: "so why are you here alone?" What the fuck? I don't think she was freaked out, but it was definitely weird. I kept fumbling, and ultimately said: "I'm a little tongue-tied", then I excused myself. I walked towards the locker room, and I crossed paths with her, walking quickly. I really hope she didn't think I was trying to kidnap her.

Gosh, I got to figure this stuff out.

[Ampersnd]

Is everyone dipping from MLS? There used to be 5-6 new journal entries per day about a month ago. Now, I swear there are about 1-2 journals posted .

[RTBoss]

Eh, the newness of it all fades and people stop posting. Or the healing and clearing has sapped the motivation of those people to keep posting. I experienced a lot of that on E2, and then again near the end of my DMSI 3.1 run.

At least you're keeping yours up!

[Benjamin]

I had that on E2 myself, and on DMSI for a while I really didn't care about posting.

[Ampersnd]

Day 48,

And now there's going to be a B-side? Shouldn't MLS 5.5 G work on its own as a standalone?
This is feeling like a shakedown. Of course, there is no obligation to pay it, but it's an add-on which appears to do exactly what the original intends, but with fewer features.

[Ampersnd]

Day 49,

I sat down with my guitar for at least 8 hours today. The day flew day; it also happened to be my cheat day. After midnight, I sat down and did some on-camera acting practice. It's easier to direct my emotions now that I have various scripts to follow. Of course, I watch someone else give a 30-second audition online, and I've memorized the script, just like that. And, I was able to put more into it than the guy auditioning.

One thing worth mentioning; I did a self-tape audition last night (the camera-woman is also the front-desk receptionist, who I'd really like to sleep with... anyways,) and I confessed that I had only begun taking lessons last week. She was blown away, assuming that I had at least one or two years experience in drama. That's a good sign; I'm taking information and re-arranging it internally, and it comes out okay, even if I do very little practicing. But, the more I practice, the faster this process accelerates.