Since finishing UH about 6 months ago i've been jumping around to different things, using other programs that I 'can' use more than 1 at a time and try to deal with certain things. and had a few hypnosis sessions and other sessions. I also partly just realized that UH may have scared the depth it hit, because before I stopped I got some very strong stuff coming up, and coincidentally muscle testing told me to stop using it and move onto something else. I've partly realized that at times subconscious resistance can also affect my muscle testing results. I would have done good to atleast stick to my planned amount of UH or to keep using it. I noticed things went a bit downhill after stopping it.
Made some progress on one area i've wanted to that should help me get better results now.
But I feel like trying these other things have just had me floundering, hoping for what they promised and the results I wanted from them... but not really getting them. I realized last night that I need to trust myself and my own experience of what has and what hasn't worked for me, instead of constantly 'hoping' things would and still wasting my time.
I sat down and compared different things, and as I already knew that these programs here have got me by far the most results even if i've had 'something' holding back it's full expression.. that I have taken responsibility to move past now and get the results I want.
And the main thing happening at the moment, UH got me to a point where after not being with anyone for around 5 years due to reasons I won't mention but that caused me alot of pain, intensity and trauma.. that one night on UH I woke up with a strong thought and feeling "I'm ready to be with somebody again" and then had a few women message me, and one woman ask me out. I was a bit unsure, but went for it.
It ended up being one of the best relationships i've had, and I would communicate what pissed me off instead of just brooding on it and getting more pissed off and just losing it like in the past. I consistently would take the lead, take her places, the sex was good the whole time. I wasn't needy (I credit UH to helping alot with that) and I also kept up my own stuff that I was doing, which in the past I made the mistake of not doing so when I was with someone and regretted it.
But 2 weeks ago she ended it, her reason was that she wanted to spend more time with me than I could. She had mentioned it a few times, and I tried but apparently not enough.
What does my head in is to me everything was great, I did most everything well, consistently took the lead, and the sex didn't drop off at all like in some past relationships where I lost myself and she lost attraction.. it was strong until the end of it.
So that day she ended it and the next day went on a bit of a porn binge, but was okay the rest of the week and thought I didn't feel too bad. But I think that's cos I pushed down the emotions with the porn. I hadn't looked at porn the whole time I was with her or masturbated, getting regular sex seemed to deal with that urge, and fulfill whatever need I was hoping to get from porn.
Anyway now the last few days it come up much stronger, rage, anger, hate towards her and then back to it.. without the porn this time but still just as damaging. And other damaging behaviours that are detrimental. For a few days almost feeling like I could lose it and wanting to give up everything i'm doing that is beneficial to me.
It's probably been the most intense 2 weeks i've had in a long time.
So it was a choice between OGSF, Maverick, OPH. I can't say i'm ready for Maverick, OPH is "it sounds good and would be good to be physically healed more, but it's not what I need right now".
OGSF is what I really need and for a good amount of time consistently muscle testing says "Use OGSF".
I just opened a document and made a list of fears I want to deal with, and things I have guilt and shame about that I want to deal with. I won't share that here.
I may not even update this much here, as in the past i've found doing so seems to sometimes 'discharge' some of the work that's happening. I don't know why or understand it but i've noticed it happening.
Started OGSF 5.9g - Sunday 30/4/23.
Last night of listening to 5.9g version - Sunday 6/8/23.
Made some progress on one area i've wanted to that should help me get better results now.
But I feel like trying these other things have just had me floundering, hoping for what they promised and the results I wanted from them... but not really getting them. I realized last night that I need to trust myself and my own experience of what has and what hasn't worked for me, instead of constantly 'hoping' things would and still wasting my time.
I sat down and compared different things, and as I already knew that these programs here have got me by far the most results even if i've had 'something' holding back it's full expression.. that I have taken responsibility to move past now and get the results I want.
And the main thing happening at the moment, UH got me to a point where after not being with anyone for around 5 years due to reasons I won't mention but that caused me alot of pain, intensity and trauma.. that one night on UH I woke up with a strong thought and feeling "I'm ready to be with somebody again" and then had a few women message me, and one woman ask me out. I was a bit unsure, but went for it.
It ended up being one of the best relationships i've had, and I would communicate what pissed me off instead of just brooding on it and getting more pissed off and just losing it like in the past. I consistently would take the lead, take her places, the sex was good the whole time. I wasn't needy (I credit UH to helping alot with that) and I also kept up my own stuff that I was doing, which in the past I made the mistake of not doing so when I was with someone and regretted it.
But 2 weeks ago she ended it, her reason was that she wanted to spend more time with me than I could. She had mentioned it a few times, and I tried but apparently not enough.
What does my head in is to me everything was great, I did most everything well, consistently took the lead, and the sex didn't drop off at all like in some past relationships where I lost myself and she lost attraction.. it was strong until the end of it.
So that day she ended it and the next day went on a bit of a porn binge, but was okay the rest of the week and thought I didn't feel too bad. But I think that's cos I pushed down the emotions with the porn. I hadn't looked at porn the whole time I was with her or masturbated, getting regular sex seemed to deal with that urge, and fulfill whatever need I was hoping to get from porn.
Anyway now the last few days it come up much stronger, rage, anger, hate towards her and then back to it.. without the porn this time but still just as damaging. And other damaging behaviours that are detrimental. For a few days almost feeling like I could lose it and wanting to give up everything i'm doing that is beneficial to me.
It's probably been the most intense 2 weeks i've had in a long time.
So it was a choice between OGSF, Maverick, OPH. I can't say i'm ready for Maverick, OPH is "it sounds good and would be good to be physically healed more, but it's not what I need right now".
OGSF is what I really need and for a good amount of time consistently muscle testing says "Use OGSF".
I just opened a document and made a list of fears I want to deal with, and things I have guilt and shame about that I want to deal with. I won't share that here.
I may not even update this much here, as in the past i've found doing so seems to sometimes 'discharge' some of the work that's happening. I don't know why or understand it but i've noticed it happening.
Started OGSF 5.9g - Sunday 30/4/23.
Last night of listening to 5.9g version - Sunday 6/8/23.