08-17-2018, 11:24 AM
(08-16-2018, 06:15 PM)ianmarconi Wrote: @Shannon you ***** genius! I just had one of the biggest insights of my life. I am using UM/OP for like a week with reversal effects, super resistance, full of nightmares and restless nights, like i never felt before, procrastinated like hell and was bumped with the results until one hour ago:
Just had a critical insight of my biggest fear and that caused me lots of fails and extremes amount of unnecessary suffering. I fear failure o much that i simply don't do shit, procrastinate a lot and feel large amounts of anxiety during the task IF i overcome the gigantic problem of procrastination. If is especially true with cognitive tasks like read a technical book, study for college or some super important goal. I have this fear since i can remember but i remember a particular event where i took a test to enter in a school, my parents where pressuring me a lot and i kind of said that it was an easy task for me because i was smart (i had like 14), i took preparatory classes all year but i failed the test and my parents freak out, my father almost slapped me (and he never hit me) calling me "smart ass" and stuff like that, it was very traumatizing, i remember vividly the fear i felt that moment. Since then, my academic success just plumbed every year and with it my motivation to study, although i managed to enter in one of the best universities from Brazil i still procrastinate like HELL, give up easily and feel extremely anxious when i am in class or reading a book, especially when i don't understand something right away. But now i understand my dad, he was only projecting in me his insecurities, my parents are both failures, even though my father is SUPER smart, he still kind of failed in life (in his perspective) and i simply feel his sadness every time i see him and it crushes me to see him like this. My mother also failed terribly in life, her life is simply HELL, she is a drug addict with hardcore mental issues, ***** up the WHOLE family, committed several crimes and is responding in justice for it. She wasn't as smart as she thinks she is but still, breaks my heart to even think about her and i don't see any possibility to see some improvement in her situation until she dies.
What can i do, guys, i feel that this is my biggest block currently, is holding me down in a big way and there are lots of people who counts
and aunt.
Almost forgot: my root chakra is pulsating a LOT this couple of days, never felt anything like it.
I already knew your programs worked but this just blew my ***** mind, if i let go (somehow) of this fear this might be one life change moment. I still feel the fear but now i see clearly why. Definitely, i will continue to use this sub for at least 3 months.
Im really happy that you got all these insights but remember this sub at the moment has no healing and clearing.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days