Self-esteem 5.5G

[tolgaocal80]

day 31

last night's dreams were interesting and made me feel good.

1. It was night, where I don't know the place
I was a monster, but not a bad monster, I had full control on myself, some bad guys were killed my father and, I was chasing them, then killed them. I could jump 20-30 meters high, I could run with my 4 limbs, my claws were like a bears, I felt too much strong and invicible. I did the job and then jumped to the forest around there. This is the first dream I was a monster.

2. My sisters (older than me) friend was at home, I was teasing her with my cold jokes, then she felt in love with me. end.


SE 5.5G feels good, very good. I don't know if it contains FRM but, I guess it was slowly working in the background thats why I felt it's effects some later. It is not important the speed for me if it is the best way to work.

[tolgaocal80]

day 45

Hi everyone, there are somethings I want to say;

I am in college and this year had to be my last year as a college student but I had lost my motivation and work ethic and life expectations, all of happiness, friends, everything else etc. All areas in my life were crap. then I saw Shannon's stuffs, this works and actually, I fascinated with his works and follow it.

this semester I passed my lessons with high points , I gained a better understand with life, relationships, vast knowledge about myself, people in general, how to speak in public, how to stand up for wrong things, how to think, how to speak with girls, how to love and respond your relatives etc. I am very motivated to do my things, non-stop self-improvement, and I want and expect many better thing in life for myself. I can't imagine how would be my life if I didn't search for this kind of changes, and couldn't find IML subs. Most Probably still got 3-4 years to finish college, everday struggle to get up and live, fearfullness everytime. So tldr; I am very happy and gratefull for this help by IML. I still got 1-1,5year to finish but I am certainly sure I will get very high points and will be graduted quickly.

on SE side;

My ex flirt messaged me last night, I know her about 5 years or so. this girl was saying me how much she love me and want to do some sexual stuffs with me, that time I was having serious problems with family, and other things, my head was full with this kind of things, I refused her because of my emotional issues. this was really my bad.

now, conversations were "really" different. I don't know why but "about everything she said, I got a %100 understandment what she really says and replied her the exact right answer. it is like reading a foreign language book for the first time with knowing the real meaning of writings. in conversation , she send me back my old messages that I sent to her, it was like watching my old silly childish things. I led dialog directly sexual things and I never used any kind of beta-manipulative loser words, I didn't lie any. I liked this. I can say things that I couldn't say before because of thinking how she will think about me if I say this, will she still like me if I say anything sexual etc. will note here if anything happens.

Generally I am happy with my short results with IML.
Don't forget this; Results always tell the truth. and my results had changed, and still changing for better.

[StridingStrider]

Great results tolgaocal80

[tolgaocal80]

Great results tolgaocal80

Absolutely Sir  

[Shannon]

Much appreciated feedback, my friend.

[tolgaocal80]

@Shannon What you think about coffeine, I read somewhere it is a drug -like stimulant, is it harmfull or very addicted for your thinking?, I can't drink it whenever I start a new sub, after that I drinking too much coffee like 4-5 of cup. the ınternet full of confusing ideas about it.

day 51

I am becoming less anger to situations that before I get so angry and saying heart-breaking words, No dream so far. I just sleeping late and waking up early, sleep time reduced to 5-6 hours a day, no feeling tiredness maybe because of high coffee using, maybe that was the stress causing me sleep 8-10 hours, the tension feeling of stress I don't feel much of it.

[tolgaocal80]

day 63

Maaan, I really wondering about OF 5.75G since my primary plan was running AM6 until a new AM come out.
but this things, new technologies really making me curious, anyway will conituine with OF after this
and probably I wish at last I can go with my AM7 sub for a long time.

I have some fears. Lots of fear I guess :

I want to get into random fights without hesitation, procastination.
I want to take bugs to my hands.
I want to talk to strangers, any strangers, and beatifull ladies without hesitation, with what it is in my head
I want to swim in open seas.
I want to give my full attentions, full time, full intention to my "own work" that will make me a millioner.
I want to be a women-magnet, with minimum work to earn 9's.

it OF remove at least %60 or even %50 I make sure you, I will be a different fucking man. I believe it will work. Thanks Shannon, I don't know if 6G works fully on me, how I will pay your efforts?

Of course I won't load all this wants to OF, I will see how OF effect these.

About SE: I dream some days, less noticable social anxiety when go to outside.

[RTBoss]

You want to get into random fights? Or just stand up for yourself, if needed?

[StridingStrider]

I want to get into random fights without hesitation, procastination.

You want to get into random fights?

[tolgaocal80]

well. I think I want both, what I mean with random fights is "be able to fight whenever, everywhere, with everbody without any feeling of fear", of course I am not an idiot , wants to fight for nothing. but I just want to fight without fear of beating up and other things, standing up for myself would be a better explanation for this, but without fear yes.

:-D this made me laugh too

[tolgaocal80]

Day 67

today, i was in KFC for a coffee and sales manager, tried to give it free, with a lot of compliments. I didn't understand why, he told it is not important etc. İ don't know him or İ never been there. İt wasn't free either. Everybody around me were very nice to me.

[tolgaocal80]

day 70

yesterday and today, in my dreams some VERRY big and deep fears and some memories came up,
everything has mixed together in dream but I still could feel those things that I will not share here. The feel of fear, anxiety, frustation was there.

[tolgaocal80]

day 71

today something happened that was very unbelieveable for me:

That girl, my ex-flirt (not girlfriend) , as I told, she texted me a month ago.
She send me nudes, asked me for how I will fuck her, etc. after 1 hour of dirty conversations, She will come a month later from a different city to just fuck with me. she is a 6.0-6.5 and 21 years old.

I wouldn't believe this kind of things will happen to me, but here, is happening.
Before, I just wouldn't even talk about sex with a girl with this clearity, and I saw many times she was bs-ing me with questions or with some shaming technics. I just throwed them back to her.

After thinking about that, I guess I realized some effects of SE, (of course AM was there too) :
I accept my sexuality, I accept that I am a human-being, I accept relationships, I can make a relationship, in some of my dreams I was a gay, and was trying to convince people that I am not a gay. And there was another dream, a childhood memory that I dont wanna to remember, I was dealing with it in that dream.
Even in my AM runs, I didn't accept girls into my life, there were some girls who want to talk with me , I just rejected them. But SE worked so deep, so undetectable for me. SE made some things accessible for me.

I didn't want to say before I am sure, I accepted myself. I accepted my humanity.

Now, lets see what happens next !

[lano1106]

Good job tolgaocal,

SE is also on my radar as well as it seems to be a nice complement to AM...