Rise of a Sith Lord (AM6)[Complete]

[DarthXedonias]

Stage 5, Day 11

So far I think i'm starting to realize what this stage is doing and have noticed some changes. One thing I have noticed is that I have developed a "Aristocratic" type attitude towards myself. One day I just work up, after listening to the sub for 21 hours straight, and had this feeling of worthiness and deserving. The things that were going through my mind that morning were, "I deserve the best houses, lifestyle, and to throw the best parties. I deserve the best of everything". I had just had a job interview that week and they told me they would call me by this Wednesday with their decision. Before, I had been worried about them not hiring me on the spot but after that morning My thoughts became, "Well if I get hired in the mean time by someone else its their lost. If they lose a great worker its their own fault". At the moment I feel totally sure of myself.

Another thing that is worth mention is my new determination to put my life back on track. I have found myself just waking up in the morning and applying for jobs without a second thought. I've even talked to my former college, which I left after I joined the Navy, to reapply and sign up for classes this January. I also applied for my Military education benefits so I won't have to work or worry about money while attending this spring. I should hopefully be able to transfer from that college to a university for next fall.

One of the other things I have contemplated about since starting this stage is the type of women I would like long term relationships with. At this point, I feel like i'm looking for women that are extraordinary, heck even legendary I might say in looks, character, and personality. I have wondered if this has to do with my new found aristocratic type attitude. Kinda of like how in the past a Noble men wouldn't marry or have a long term relationship with a common women, unless it was just sex. Instead he would go with the women who were from a noble family, and had class, Self-confidence, and distinction. Like the difference between a Alpha-female and a Beta-female. On a side note, I have actually questioned whether I want to do SM3 after I complete WM2. At this point, even though my sex drive has increased again on stage 5, I see sex as nothing but a pleasurable extra- curricular activity at this point. Therefore, It has ran across my mind to do something like Base 5G or do the AYP sub earlier but I will probably hold off on a final decision until I finish WM2.

On a similar note, I believe I found more reason to go with WM2 instead of any other sub after AM6 (which I think was brought to my attention due to the OE in AM6). I actually found out there is a high correlation between those with PTSD also having Social Anxiety Disorder. Even though its not confirmed for me personally, I do believe that I might have Social Anxiety Disorder and that my traumas in social settings with that disorder led to my PTSD. I say this not only because i have all the symptoms of SAD but I noticed something very significant about my PTSD moments. I noticed that all my PTSD memories have to do with being in a social setting and being humiliated in front of dozens of people. AM6 has helped me conquer a lot of Social anxiety but I still get that anxiety if I have a lot of people paying attention to me at once sometimes. Given that WM2 is suppose to destroy social anxiety and make you want to go out and socialize it would be the best choice for my next sub.

On a final note, I have already noticed some of the SM3 that is in AM6 taking affect. I have a certain Female friend that I hang out with every once in a while, that I'm not interested in. We hadn't gotten together for a while until shortly after I started stage 5. I noticed right away she started texting me more soon afterwards. She also wanted to come over more often. Out of those times she came over, one time she actually bought a whole pizza for herself and one for me even though she has very little money. Also, when I told her off handily one day that I was going up to the college to see a counselor and what time, I got a txt the next day from her, around the time I was done with my counseling, offering to give me a ride since she didn't live that far away. For her, I feel this is pretty peculiar.

[Ricardo]

On a similar note, I believe I found more reason to go with WM2 instead of any other sub after AM6 (which I think was brought to my attention due to the OE in AM6). I actually found out there is a high correlation between those with PTSD also having Social Anxiety Disorder. Even though its not confirmed for me personally, I do believe that I might have Social Anxiety Disorder and that my traumas in social settings with that disorder led to my PTSD. I say this not only because i have all the symptoms of SAD but I noticed something very significant about my PTSD moments. I noticed that all my PTSD memories have to do with being in a social setting and being humiliated in front of dozens of people. AM6 has helped me conquer a lot of Social anxiety but I still get that anxiety if I have a lot of people paying attention to me at once sometimes. Given that WM2 is suppose to destroy social anxiety and make you want to go out and socialize it would be the best choice for my next sub.

I think I have a little SAD which is another good reason for me to go with WM. Although AM6 has helped me overcome that particular anxiety I'm not fully convinced I'm completely over it. The lifestyle of SM3 is something I'm just not ready for and if I ran it I doubt I would get any worthwhile results. WM definitely ticks all the boxes for me. If WM does all that it says on the tin then I may run SM3 then another AM6. However I want to fit in one of the AYP's at some stage to which currently I'm planning on after WM.

[DarthXedonias]

Ricardo- I'm hoping that by doing WM2 It will destroy my Social anxiety and therefore get rid of my PTSD symptoms related to it. One thing I'm looking forward to is if it will give me that smooth, Tony Stark type persona that I want. The women it will bring into my life is just icing on the cake. As for the SM3 lifestyle, I am partly in the same boat as you. I have the feeling that since I lack the social skills, without WM, I probably would get lackluster results. I remember a thread on here of someone who was also a INTP ,like myself, who despised having idle chit chat and small talk. Because of this, his lack of social skills, he didn't very good results with SM. He could attract the women but couldn't really talk to them.

As for if I would be ready for a SM life style, that's part of it but Its more so if I even want it anymore to begin with. Its amazing, before AM6, I would say I was constantly needy and thinking about sex, even to the point of being obsessive i would think. Now, Neediness is dead and even though the sex drive is still there I could care less about it. I've become more of a man on a mission and anything that's pleasurable that doesn't help with that mission is nothing more than a extra-curricular activity that I can indulge in occasionally but other than that is nothing really important.On top of that, I've noticed with the more successful SM journals that the men in the end realized that the sex wasn't really what they wanted in the end. I will do it eventually for the self-development, Auras, and Superman in the bedroom aspect but for now I'm lean towards it not being a High priority over the next year.

Matter of fact, after reading your post about your plans and thinking about it some more. I think I'm going to do a WM2>AYPW>AYPFWRL after I complete AM6.

[DarthXedonias]

Stage 5, Day 13

If I had to use 1 word to describe these last 2 days it would be "Awesome". I don't know what it was but it seems since my last post that my Self-confidence and Self-worth have gone through the roof. If I try to think of anything negative about myself I either can hold the thought for only a few seconds or (most often) my mind automatically thinks of something positive about myself instead. When I think about it given my current financial crisis the old me would have been living in fear and worry the entire time. The new me has this Self-assurance, confidence, and knowing that everything will work out for my best. Its like I now recognize many of my problems as not real problems but little annoyances on my path to greatness.

I believe my new found aristocratic mindset and self-confidence have had some influence on my manifestation skills too. I applied for another 2 jobs last week while I wait for the reply from the last place I interviewed for. My whole mindset after I applied were, "I'm a awesome worker, they should be glad to have me. They will be calling soon since i'm that great". I admit too that my mindset for the job I had previously interviewed for had been, "Why wouldn't they want to hire me right away? Well, I'm not going wait for them to realize that they have a great potential worker". All these mindsets are high up there ego wise but they might have done something manifestation wise. Within the span of two days I received calls back from both jobs asking for interviews(which is rare in my area).

I had one interview today, for the job I really wanted, and as I walked to the interview I had zero fear, I only had positive thoughts. I kept on thinking about how I was going to be offered the job on the spot after they realized how "awesome" I am. Needless to say, I was offered the job right on the spot and am going back in tomorrow to sign all the needed paper work.

I've also come to the realization that I might have a idea as to why I developed this Aristocratic type mindset and confidence in the first place. The sub was the catalyst but I think I might have found something else going on. I will write further about that tomorrow, but first need to get some sleep!

[jonathan4all]

Superb mate

[DarthXedonias]

Stage 5, Day 20

Things are still going pretty well for now. I had some resistance come up a few days ago and along with it a big amount of fear concerning my financial situation. It passed though and I have regained my confidence. After reading about Spiritman's assessment on Stage 5 so far, I noticed a similarity with my own experience with this stage. This stage is really getting me to want to analyze and make changes in where I want to go in life. Its like I don't want to settle for anything but the best in my life now. Its funny, Us humans are always talking about how short life is but we are constantly settling for less or making compromises all the time.

I will now go over that revelation that I mentioned in my last post since I haven't gotten to it due to being busy. A long time ago I came up with day dreaming about a main character and story that I thought about making a book out of. Over the years I have kept daydreaming about this character, with changes here and there, though I no longer want to make a book out of it anymore. Before I started AM6, I would say this character was a typical "white Knight" type hero with Beta characteristics. During AM6 I noticed that this character started to transform from this White Knight to a "almost" anti-Hero who rules a vast empire, has any woman he wants, and gets anything he wants. I would say he has the confidence and demeanor of Tywin lannister with a little cockiness and sociability of Tyrion Lannister. It was last week when I remembered reading that AM6 can sometimes use your daydreams to bring about changes. I then realized that all this time that this story character I had made was more a representation of myself than anything else. This does excite me for women magnet as well because if I remember correctly WM2 helps you get out of your head and be in the moment. I'm hoping by being less in my head I will be more like this "symbol" of alphaness that my mind subconsciousness has made for me.

In other news, I'm realizing more and more that I just can't put up with People's BS, especially very illogical BS. I met today with my female friend that I mentioned in another post. Everything was fine until we got, casually mind you, on one of those Sensitive "PC" topics. Usually shes pretty rationale a lot of the time but this time she just got all emotional when the issue was even touched right from the get go. One thing I realized about myself is that you can raise your voice while talking all you want, as if thats a argument in itself, but if the content of your message is non-sense I will promptly ignore your so called argument. Things went back to civil quick enough but I'm more wary of her now and might distance myself. I also do this because something she blurted out during that tirade makes me think she might have a deep seated hate for men in certain respects, which I had suspected to a degree but not really confirmed til now. Not that it matters anymore, I've started to develop a new social group of people who aren't a bunch of PC "sheep". I think thats the thing that bothers me the most, People who act like a bunch of sheep and just follow the herd. It doesn't matter which "herd" either (left, right, middle, <Insert whatever>). I'm just tired of people who don't follow their "own" convictions and live by them. I'm realizing more and more that most people just like being "told" what their convictions should be by the "leaders" of their group. Last time I checked it wasn't the herd following "white sheep" that changed and advanced society for the better, but it was the stand on your own and follow your own path "Black sheep".

[DarthXedonias]

Stage 5, Day 21

Just wanted to jolt down a few things that have been on my mind of late. After waking up this morning I had calmed down a bit and wasn't agitated anymore by the events of yesterday. Definitely will be distancing and eventually staying away from my female acquaintance from now on. I can't stand when certain females have that "tantrum" and then think they've won a argument. Usually i just disengage from the conversation after that, let them think what they want and just ignore and walk away from said female afterwards. I find to keep arguing to be just a waste of my time and energy. I have noticed this reaction a lot in general since being on AM6. I simply just walk away from situations or people I don't like. Before, I would have been afraid to do that because I feared being alone and was seeking approval too much. This led to me being mistreated and then returning to talk to such person even though I didn't deserve such treatment. Now since being on AM6, especially stage 5, I don't give a crap about leaving people that I think are bad for me.

I'm also realizing just how weak a lot of the people I use to acquaint myself with were. Just to clarify, I would make a difference between a weak person who wants to change and a weak person who doesn't want to or even realize he needs to. I wanted to become a better person before I started alpha and realized that I wasn't who or where I wanted to be in life. I would put my former "friends" in the later category of weak. Many of them didn't want to examine there own lives, become better people, or work on any of their weaknesses. For example, my former female acquaintance above spent 4 years studying history (with no back up employable minor) at a private university and graduated only to start working minimum wage at a clothing store. As of right now she is still living with her mother and has no plans for the future. I've noticed with her and a lot of the people I use to associate with is that they drown themselves in entertainment (Movies, TV, video games,etc) and that is pretty much the only thing they talk about. I sometimes feel like people do that as a way to escape having to deal with reality or themselves in the same way a alcoholic relies on liquor as a form of escape sometimes. What do you guys think?

As a side note, I feel like Stage 5 has worked the most so far on shame and guilt. There have been other major benefits as well, that I have mentioned in other posts, but those are the two that I feel have been demolished in this stage. I feel so much more worthy and deserving of having the best in this life. Its interesting, in Stage 4 I feel like neediness and fear were destroyed. Now in stage 5 its shame and guilt, mainly in association with having the best things for myself.

Lastly, I have been thinking more about my future sub use. Still plan on doing WM as planned (unless finances prevent such a thing), though there is one thing that has come to my attention that might make me want to reconsider doing SM3 after WM2. I've noticed over the coarse of AM6 that whenever i'm in a sexual mood its like I become 2x more alpha for some reason. I don't know why but its like I switch just goes off in my head and I become a lot more dominant. I wonder if anyone else has experience this while on AM? If I remember correctly, in one of Geodude's post he mentioned something about his Mind being totally calm and chilled but his body being in a very sexual state while on SM3. I'm wondering if being in this constant state (knowing how it increases my alphaness) might help with my self-development if I run SM3 after WM2. On the other side though, as I mention many times before, Most women kinda of bore me and don't interest me nowadays and I feel like nothing short of a women from a AYP sub would hold my attention. Decisions, Decisions =__='''

[Ricardo]

I'm starting to sympathise a lot with your difficult decision. I have also been thinking about future subs and my feelings are similar to yours in that I would really like someone from an AYP perspective. A lot of women I would be happy to be around or have short flings with but someone perfect would be more fulfilling on a deeper level. Then I look at the time frames and WM/SM are 6 months but AYP's are.....how long's a piece of string?

I think for the sake of time and the need for more female interest I will do WM after AM then AYP for the rest of the year then back to AM in early 2016

[Natious]

I'm also realizing just how weak a lot of the people I use to acquaint myself with were. Just to clarify, I would make a difference between a weak person who wants to change and a weak person who doesn't want to or even realize he needs to. I wanted to become a better person before I started alpha and realized that I wasn't who or where I wanted to be in life. I would put my former "friends" in the later category of weak. Many of them didn't want to examine there own lives, become better people, or work on any of their weaknesses. For example, my former female acquaintance above spent 4 years studying history (with no back up employable minor) at a private university and graduated only to start working minimum wage at a clothing store. As of right now she is still living with her mother and has no plans for the future. I've noticed with her and a lot of the people I use to associate with is that they drown themselves in entertainment (Movies, TV, video games,etc) and that is pretty much the only thing they talk about. I sometimes feel like people do that as a way to escape having to deal with reality or themselves in the same way a alcoholic relies on liquor as a form of escape sometimes. What do you guys think?

On some level I agree with you, observing other people has made me draw a very similar opinion of people and their growth. However there's something more to it. "I would make a difference between a weak person who wants to change and a weak person who doesn't want to or even realize he needs to". I think I belong to both of these descriptions.

A few years ago I was so motivated to change and now when I'm in the dullest, most boring and empty place ever, it's like I'm not really that motivated to change. Yes I run AM following the instructions, but at the same time I don't feel like putting any effort into the change and I have no clue why now that I have this program I have to be in this state. I gladly escape to these addictions like video games and movies. I stopped hiding in the liquor and smoking, but I still do hide in the entertainment. I think the hardest thing is when on some level you want to change and on another you fear losing the current comfort. I didn't pick up these subs with the motivation to change, but with the hope that it would somehow save me from my lost self. If AM can help me with these core issues, it's all that I ask from the first run. Just to somehow find the motivation to take action toward my change.

There's never just black and white in my opinion. I think it's more that people are afraid to change rather than they don't want to. Who wants to keep living a sad and miserable life?

I hope my message was clear, I'm quite tired at the moment.

[Shannon]

When you are hiding... listen to AM. Then, you're not really hiding.

[DarthXedonias]

Ricardo- Yeah, my feelings exactly. Not to mention I'm just not interested in women right now unless they meet my new high expectations , courtesy of AM6, and I actually have a deep long lasting connection with them. I want the deeper connection with a woman I would get from a AYP sub but the self-development (Bed mastery,Auras, instant attraction factor) really makes SM3 very appealing. The only problem, that i keep reminding myself of, is that essentially SM3 is about getting sex, sex, and more sex. I might have been interested in that type of living before AM6 but now I feel like it just wouldn't add anything meaningful to my life. I mean banging one chick after the other doesn't add to my self-esteem, self-reliance, self-confidence or any other part of my self development (The things that really matter imo). And "Yet" I keep coming back to the fact that even though SM3 has sex as the destination, it has lots of self development along the way. Knowing this makes my decision so difficult >.<

Natious- I see where you are coming from. I remember Shannon saying in a post that he believed that most people don't do self development out of fear, laziness, or a combination of both. As we have found out from AM6, I think Shame and guilt play a role as well. To answer your idea about people not wanting to live a sad and miserable life I kinda of question that sometimes. I think there are some people who have been conditioned , through shame and guilt, to believe that they are not worthy of feeling good or having a good life in general. The thing that comes to mind is a situation I remember reading in one of Ryan's journals where his girlfriend broke up with him because she thought he was too good for her. I think I remember Shannon saying that, based on the girls background, that she was probably conditioned by her father to believe that she should be mistreated by men. So, when she was with a guy who treated her right she felt lots of guilt or shame because this is not the way she was conditioned to believe she should be treated. So I think we could say that consciously, that people may not want to live a miserable life but subconsciously we might want it because of some messed up way we were conditioned. Other than that, I agree with everything you said.

[DarthXedonias]

Stage 5, Last day

Well, Stage 5 has been quite the ride. I feel like this stage has had some very noticeable results. First off, it has taken my worthiness and confidence to a whole new level. Not only do I feel worthy of having the best things in life now but I have the confidence that I will get them (I feel like getting those things is already a forgone conclusion). On a similar note I've noticed that my music choices have leaned more towards motivational or epic lately in accordance with my change in attitude.In the last couple of days I have also noticed that I don't dwell on past wrongs too much either. In the previous stages it would take me a couple of hours to get over something done to me, but now I get over it within mins.

Neediness wise, things have taken a interesting surprise. This stage actually brought my sex drive backup so no fap isn't as consistent as in Stage 4. The thing though is that even on those occasions I do look at porn I see the women differently. Whereas before a lot of the women I saw in porn, before AM6, I thought were hot and almost flawless, Now if I look at porn I just think the women look "ok". I will sometimes think, "They don't look that hot" or "Their not even good looking enough to be my girlfriend in real life". I started to watch game of Thrones finally during Stage 5. I Would get to some of the more sexually explicit scenes and literally not get turned on at all because the women were "meh". I would even get to some of the scenes with Daenerys Targaryen, who many men see as the pinnacle of hotness, and I kept wondering why everyone thinks shes that great looking.

One other thing I have noticed is that I notice more and more just how beta most men are now. Whether its at work or not, I just get irritated when I see a man let his girlfriend/wife treat him like garbage in public. I wouldn't have noticed this as much before AM6, but now its like I see it around me constantly. Its just plain ridiculous what a man will put up with to get some.

Moving forward, I hope Stage 6 brings a few more changes but more than anything I can't wait to finish this sub. Don't get me wrong, I really like what the sub has done its just that I can't wait to move on to something else for a change of pace. I have finalized that WM>SM>AYPW will be my upcoming sub rotation. After understanding, from the recent discuss on AYP subs on the forum, that Perfect is defined based on what your current level of development is I believe it would be best to do SM after WM so I can get as much self development as possible so I can attract off the bat the best woman I possibly can. Besides, its not like it will be that bad. I can just date around and have some fun while I wait for my perfect Wife to come about.

On wards to Stage 6!

[JackOfHearts]

Even if Daenerys Targaryen is hot I hate her way of behaving in the series. I guess I wouldn't have thoughts like that before AM5/6. She doesn't respect people, she act like a real "bitc**y queen" and it makes her ugly.

[DarthXedonias]

I know what you mean Maniac. I think the problem with Daenerys is that at the begining of the series she was decent but as she got more and more victories it when to her head. She just became more and more bit**y with each one. The thing that finally killed her character for me is when she dismissed Ser Jorah from her service and threatened to kill him if she ever saw him again.

I would say right now, the only characters I like in the whole series are Khal Drogo, Tywin Lannister, and Tyrion Lannister. They seem to be the only Alpha males in the entire show in my opinion.