OSC 6G Log

[Johannesbrst]

Day 24

I wish I had something positive to report. I'm waking up every day with a low level of anger lurking beneath the surface. Over the course of the day, it morphs into general malaise. This makes interactions with people feel really awkward. I hope that means I'm working through something and that OSC 6G is capable of getting me past it. Considering how well I executed the last few 5.XXG titles, this is not at all what I was expecting with 6G.

A lot can happen between now and day 62, so it has some time to get better. But for now, I'm disappointed in OSC 6G. That's my own fault for setting unrealistic expectations. I imagined that it would tear through resistance like paper. In reality, that doesn't seem to be the case.

Is the anger trying to tell you something? What happens if you feel where in your body the feeling is coming from and stay present with it? My experience is that when these emotions arise we can help ourselves process them by conscious attention.

[NOMAD]

Day 24

I wish I had something positive to report. I'm waking up every day with a low level of anger lurking beneath the surface. Over the course of the day, it morphs into general malaise. This makes interactions with people feel really awkward. I hope that means I'm working through something and that OSC 6G is capable of getting me past it. Considering how well I executed the last few 5.XXG titles, this is not at all what I was expecting with 6G.

A lot can happen between now and day 62, so it has some time to get better. But for now, I'm disappointed in OSC 6G. That's my own fault for setting unrealistic expectations. I imagined that it would tear through resistance like paper. In reality, that doesn't seem to be the case.

Is the anger trying to tell you something? What happens if you feel where in your body the feeling is coming from and stay present with it? My experience is that when these emotions arise we can help ourselves process them by conscious attention.

I do a similar practice, but I haven't been able to pinpoint the source. It's elusive. Conscious attention only seems to make it disperse and hide, then it resurfaces. I can't seem to hold on to to it long enough to get a real 'feel' for it. 

On the flip side I'm going to do my best to identify any positive aspects of the sub and magnify them emotionally. That was an effective practice with 5.XXG subs. I just didn't expect to have to get better at these practices with 6G. I thought it would exactly the opposite.

[NOMAD]

Day 29

OSC is working me through a span of time in my early 20s that I experienced a lot of emotional tumoil. While writing in my offline journal this morning, I could actually smell the place I worked at the time. That was strange. There isn't any one event that sticks out in my mind. In fact, I occasionally have mental flashes of various events. It's just a span of time that was a real rough patch in my life. I thought I was past it, but apparently not. 

I've been feeling anxiety, anger, and bitterness. I largely lost my taste for alcohol while running PM. Now I crave it. Also, oddly enough, my libido has intermittently spiked over the past week and sex has had a prominent place in my mind.

[NOMAD]

Day 33

More of the same: anxiety, anger, and bitterness. I also more emotional and unsettled. In some ways, it reminds me of early 5G where it triggered resistance without being able to overcome it. That's my current concern with 6G...deeper, more pronounced levels of resistance without the power to overcome it.

I don't see any evidence of increased confidence. The upright body language I developed while running PM has diminished significantly. In fact, my whole presence has diminished significantly.

OSC 6G is the first sub I've ever run where I feel like I've regressed. Every other sub seemed to build on the previous sub and sometimes seemed to unlock dormant script from that sub. To say I'm disappointed with OSC 6G is a tremendous understatement, particularly since I've executed subs well over the past few years.

It has been my intent to run AM7 for years now. I'll know more at day 62, but I'm not sure I'll follow through with that. The cost of 6G is going to be tough to justify if the current results continue. My hope is that 6G will bust through. We'll see. This has been a long 33 days.

[4Kingdoms]

Are you familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? 
The MBTI is based on Carl Jung's theory of psychological types.

The MBTI emphasizes cognitive functions (e.g., introverted thinking, extroverted feeling), while 16 Personalities doesn't incorporate these functions.

---

The "16 Personalities" test, while using the same 16 personality types as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), is not the same test. The 16 Personalities test, developed by NERIS Analytics, incorporates elements from the MBTI but also incorporates insights from the Big Five personality traits model, leading to a slightly different framework and interpretation of results.

---

16 Personalities offers a free version of the test, while the MBTI is a paid assessment.
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

[NOMAD]

Are you familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? 
The MBTI is based on Carl Jung's theory of psychological types.

The MBTI emphasizes cognitive functions (e.g., introverted thinking, extroverted feeling), while 16 Personalities doesn't incorporate these functions.

---

The "16 Personalities" test, while using the same 16 personality types as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), is not the same test. The 16 Personalities test, developed by NERIS Analytics, incorporates elements from the MBTI but also incorporates insights from the Big Five personality traits model, leading to a slightly different framework and interpretation of results.

---

16 Personalities offers a free version of the test, while the MBTI is a paid assessment.
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Yes. According to multiple tests, I'm an INFJ.

[StridingStrider]

Maybe switching to Masked might help?

[NOMAD]

Maybe switching to Masked might help?

Maybe. Oddly enough, I hadn't considered that.

[NOMAD]

Day 34

I believe I'm dealing with emotions that weren't properly processed.

Yesterday, I was choked up about a problem that I'm about to have to address. I won't go into details, but I was extremely emotional. I was teary-eyed for about an hour.

This morning, I watched a video of a group of kids singing "Memories" by Maroon 5. While listening, I cried. It wasn't an intense cry. But it was a cry.

The significance of all this is that it I don't remember the last time I cried. It has been that long. And everything I'm feeling now centers around mortality, loss, sadness, and the emotions associated with these things. I find myself repeating over and over in my mind, "It's ok to feel this way." I think the last time I felt these emotions at any level of depth way was when I was a kid. Now, I'm feeling these things arise deep from within in powerful waves.

[ncbeareatingman]

Day 34

I believe I'm dealing with emotions that weren't properly processed.

Yesterday, I was choked up about a problem that I'm about to have to address. I won't go into details, but I was extremely emotional. I was teary-eyed for about an hour.

This morning, I watched a video of a group of kids singing "Memories" by Maroon 5. While listening, I cried. It wasn't an intense cry. But it was a cry.

The significance of all this is that it I don't remember the last time I cried. It has been that long. And everything I'm feeling now centers around mortality, loss, sadness, and the emotions associated with these things. I find myself repeating over and over in my mind, "It's ok to feel this way." I think the last time I felt these emotions at any level of depth way was when I was a kid. Now, I'm feeling these things arise deep from within in powerful waves.

 Wow Man. This stuff is sno'nuff the WARRIORS PATH. Brave Hearts. No Bull. Feel it, to heal it.  Im going through a similar thing with OSC diggin deeper,I believe it for healing/deaiing with stuff & moving out of the way, things that are preventing OSC  from fully being OSC, so that  OSC eventually can truly be OSC! GO easy Man, you're worth it! Authentically, Keith.