07-10-2025, 08:34 AM
I decided to try with this one to see how it goes, i tried to see if there was any difference in using ultrasonic and masked, at the end ultrasonic seems to be doing better, first thing i noticed was i didn't feel scared as always when my stomach digest food or feel pain, sounds stupid but somehow my subconscious associated any kind of feeling in my body as "I'm dying", my compulsive thoughts diminished as well as their reactions for example getting dizzy while thinking a lighting will hit me (somehow, that's the kind of stupid thoughts i have), finally since i'm the type of person who self deceives (for some reason) i decided to be scammed today even though i knew fully well it was fishy as hell but my mind kept pestering me about if it was real and the urges ended up winning, guess what? it was indeed a scam and i got very upset at myself for those stupid thoughts and my blind faith to them but maybe that was the kind of drive that i needed to stop believing my mind in the first place, now whenever my mind comes up with whatever shit i won't believe it and dismiss every kind of thought, if i think i'm going to die fuck it, if i think something would be a good idea fuck it too, if i got scared because i think it could go wrong fuck it too, just fuck my damn mind, always cause me troubles but somehow i was scared of finding out if what went through my thoughts could be real or not, guess my emotional self found the answer.
