OF - Fluffy Journal

[Fluffy]

You guys think that OF is "numbing" or "covering" your fears.  It's not.  It's dissolving them.  But they are able to regenerate, which is why when you take days off, you start seeing the effects of them again.  The rest period is necessary for continuing on, but the progress is not lost; we still make positive progress with each cycle of listening to rest.  In the beginning, it will most likely be the most obvious and difficult.  Over time, with many cycles, I theorize that the effects will come to flow into a continuous state of calm and freedom from fear.

Numbing and covering fear is not useful for removing it.  We are removing it.

That is good 


My third night off last night. I have been feeling so exhausted, yesterday I slept 3-4 hours in the day and I still had to go to bed at 9 pm as I was just so fooked, I didn't do anything to make me exhausted either. It is not a normal feeling either, so it must be in relation to the program. I guess it is working on things without me consciously realising.

Spending a few nights with my girlfriend from tonight, pretty sure I am going to start using the sleep phones from now on in her presence. Mainly as I only want to focus on myself, I don't really want to think about what the program is doing to her etc. Maybe when we live together, but for now I want to just focus on myself.

For the sleep phones, I will be switching to Hybrid track and I will just use that track when I use sleep phones in the presence of my girlfriend. Then when sleeping alone, I will use the ultrasonic track through phone speakers. Obviously, if that is okay to switch between them like that. 

Looking forward to hitting play for the start of round 2 tonight!

[Fluffy]

I am noticing more "stuff" coming back today. It makes me realise that I must have a shit load of fears and have been living like this for a very long time, I mean I knew my thoughts and emotions were challenging to manage, but I realise now that none of it was normal and makes me wonder how in the hell have I lived like that for so long. So glad I am running this program, as it gives me hope that I will be able to be normal for once in this life.

[RTBoss]

It's fine to switch between hybrid and ultrasonic tracks. That's only contraindicated with MIR.

[Shannon]

I am noticing more "stuff" coming back today. It makes me realise that I must have a shit load of fears and have been living like this for a very long time, I mean I knew my thoughts and emotions were challenging to manage, but I realise now that none of it was normal and makes me wonder how in the hell have I lived like that for so long. So glad I am running this program, as it gives me hope that I will be able to be normal for once in this life.

From the product description:

After properly using Overcoming Fear 5.75G, you will look back on your previous life of limitation and wasted time, energy and failure resulting from fear and marvel at not only the difference between your life then and the new freedom and opportunity-based reality you experience now, you’ll also wonder, “How did I ever live like that?  How did I ever think that was normal?”  It is truly an amazing experience that must be experienced to be fully understood and appreciated.

Pretty spot on, I'd say.

[Fluffy]

I tried that pulsar app last night, created a playlist of 6 loops with same track, but unfortunately I woke up as it stopped playing and I looked at the time and it was 3am. I quickly thought it must have only played twice, thinking I went to bed at 1am. So I just went to my normal app I play my ultrasonic 6 loops from, as before, to get that one to work,I had to download the track multiple times and add numbers to the name to create a playlist to be able to play the same track for that. So as I thought I must of only played twice, I started my ultrasonic playlist play from the 3rd loop with sleep phones at a much lower volume 6/15 clicks. 

Unfortunately just now after pondering about it, I realised when I went to bed I ended up having sexy time for about an hour with my girlfriend, so the pulsar playlist must of stopped after only one loop. So as I started my other playlist (as I knew it would play the loops back to back, so I knew it would be reliable) I obviously must of only got 5 loops last night, with space in between the first and second loop. This really annoyed me, as I was so looking forward to getting all my loops in, in the proper way. 

I am thinking of continuing the ultrasonic playlist of 6 loops through sleep phones tonight, as I know the playlist works and is all fine. 

In other news I have been feeling some weird feelings about my girlfriend and being in a relationship. I will see what happens with that as it might be just because we had a little tiny falling out last night over something so tiny, and she hasn't been her self since, even though we eventually had sex after and this morning. I don't know what it is, it is out of the ordinary, it seems new. I will see what happens, it might be just a blip. Time will tell. Makes me wonder what I am putting out with my aura. There is no way for me to do guess work, so I will just leave it at that, and see what unfolds.

I am assuming just carry on like normal and not try to make up that one loop. Even though it is tempting.

[Shannon]

I suggest you do make up that one loop. Just try not to have breaks between loops.

[4Kingdoms]

In other news I have been feeling some weird feelings about my girlfriend and being in a relationship. I will see what happens with that as it might be just because we had a little tiny falling out last night over something so tiny, and she hasn't been her self since, even though we eventually had sex after and this morning. I don't know what it is, it is out of the ordinary, it seems new. I will see what happens, it might be just a blip. Time will tell. Makes me wonder what I am putting out with my aura. There is no way for me to do guess work, so I will just leave it at that, and see what unfolds.

https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-OF-Fl...#pid235643

I ended up listening to it in the usual way, and the funny thing is as soon as I put it on, my girlfriend heard it and was like what is that and started searching around to find the source until she got near me and my phone in hand haha. She must have a super-sensitive hearing because as soon as I pressed play, she was on it. She wanted me to turn it off at first, but once I  explained to her what it was, she was cool with it playing.

She was exposed to Overcoming Fear 5.75g
I don't need the details of the "tiny situation that caused your falling out".  Now that she has been exposed to Overcoming Fear 5.75g she no longer "fears" talking about the "tiny" things.

[Fluffy]

I suggest you do make up that one loop. Just try not to have breaks between loops.

Yeah, I will do that tonight.

In other news I have been feeling some weird feelings about my girlfriend and being in a relationship. I will see what happens with that as it might be just because we had a little tiny falling out last night over something so tiny, and she hasn't been her self since, even though we eventually had sex after and this morning. I don't know what it is, it is out of the ordinary, it seems new. I will see what happens, it might be just a blip. Time will tell. Makes me wonder what I am putting out with my aura. There is no way for me to do guess work, so I will just leave it at that, and see what unfolds.

https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-OF-Fl...#pid235643

I ended up listening to it in the usual way, and the funny thing is as soon as I put it on, my girlfriend heard it and was like what is that and started searching around to find the source until she got near me and my phone in hand haha. She must have a super-sensitive hearing because as soon as I pressed play, she was on it. She wanted me to turn it off at first, but once I  explained to her what it was, she was cool with it playing.

She was exposed to Overcoming Fear 5.75g
I don't need the details of the "tiny situation that caused your falling out".  Now that she has been exposed to Overcoming Fear 5.75g she no longer "fears" talking about the "tiny" things.

That is one possibility. But she only had one exposure.

I think it is more to do with me and how I react when there is a misunderstanding. I get annoyed and frustrated, and raise my voice and it makes it worse than it is.

I know there is no excuse, but I do think what is going on underneve the hood has some part in it. As I have been feeling weird.

It really does feel like I don't know what the ultimate outcome is going to be, I just feel and react with what I got, but I don't even know if they are legit, or just in passing. Only time will tell.

[ncbeareatingman]

I am noticing more "stuff" coming back today. It makes me realise that I must have a shit load of fears and have been living like this for a very long time, I mean I knew my thoughts and emotions were challenging to manage, but I realise now that none of it was normal and makes me wonder how in the hell have I lived like that for so long. So glad I am running this program, as it gives me hope that I will be able to be normal for once in this life.

From the product description:

After properly using Overcoming Fear 5.75G, you will look back on your previous life of limitation and wasted time, energy and failure resulting from fear and marvel at not only the difference between your life then and the new freedom and opportunity-based reality you experience now, you’ll also wonder, “How did I ever live like that?  How did I ever think that was normal?”  It is truly an amazing experience that must be experienced to be fully understood and appreciated.

Pretty spot on, I'd say.

 Damn  Sam,that is awesome!! Understatement. this is exactly WHY I'm soooo looking forward and I mean looking forward to Utilizing FRM 4.9-DRS-The Power Platinum Lake Build all in UMS2!! wow. 4.9 FRM is more than well worth the price of admission!! peace Dudes and more  freedom and opportunity-Based  POWER & Empowerment to Ya's!! Rock N' Roll ,Man!! Wow!!

[Fluffy]

Round 2 - 4 nights out of 6.

I am feeling emotionally heavy, that is a good way to describe it. 

My girlfriend and I were able to make up properly before we left each other, you know, leave each other feeling much better about everything that happened. I eventually saw how I could have prevented the tension escalating (even starting) between us, which involves me being more thoughtful, empathetic and punctual... to name a few. It's a learning experience. 

I feel that normal things are kinda coming up, entering my mind here and there, they are not excruciating, and I am finding it easier to change my mind to something else. But when they do pop into my mind because of what I am thinking about, I do have a moment of "ah that is still there". Rereading this I just realised I called them "normal things"! damn, that says it all.

I am doing what I can each day related to a few "wants" or "goals" of mine, nothing crazy and OCD like, as I'm a go with the flow kind of guy. Making things too organised makes me uneasy. For example, I would never do a spreadsheet or plan every day for the next 6 months or year. I do have a general idea where I want to go in that time frame though, I just like flexibility so I can move. 

One of the things I am waiting for so I can take some actions in a certain direction are the final grades that I will be getting in about 10 days or so. Once that is confirmed and I have officially got my place at the University, I can then start looking up houses for renting with my girlfriend, and visiting the area to check them out, which will be quite exciting indeed, as I will be moving out of my parent's house and starting my own life pretty much near the other side of the country. Once I have gone, I intend to not come back this way for quite some time as I intend to reinvent myself and fulfil even more of my potential.

[Fluffy]

Completed round 2, 6 nights. Tonight starting the night off 1 out of 3.

I wish I could sleep all day and all night. I feel this heavy feeling emotionally and it is intense. It feels like I have a wound somewhere between my heart and solar plexus and something is prodding around in there with a scalpel. This week is different, I am looking forward to my 3 nights off. 8 months of this is gonna be a boot camp in itself it feels like.

I am just expressing what I feel, this can change obviously. I feel like I'm going through all this alone in physical life, no one would understand what I am going through. Nothing I can do about that, I just have to keep going.

One thing that is annoying me, is I keep having doubts coming up about things. I know it is just the way I am directing my thoughts, but my thoughts are going there easier and deep down I know it is not what I want. It feels like it is tied into how I am feeling in general though, so looking forward to this passing.

[Shannon]

I think it's pretty unlikely that you'll be dealing with this stuff the whole time. This is the "stuff" that needs to be dealt with to get free. It's not going to be there forever.

[Fluffy]

Round 3 - Day 6 out of 6.

I got my grades yesterday and I am 20 credits under to meet my conditional offer for the degree. At first, I was pretty devastated, embarrassed and felt like a failure. I even had a little cry.  But after a reassuring message from my GF, and some thinking, searching and metaphorical brainstorming, I was able to feel much better and maybe even start to look at it is a blessing in disguise. I will still be going to university and I am still moving out of my parent's house and going to live with my GF without a doubt but will have to go through clearing, and do a degree in a slightly different subject or completely different and with a foundational year. I am just waiting to hear back from the university as I sent them an email and laid out my situation. Waiting sucks ass.

I spent a few days with my GF's mother, 2 brothers and one of their partners. As they were celebrating an occasion. We had lots of tasty food, BBQ and played games outside. I even drank quite a bit of alcohol which is rare for me, as I only like to do it if I am really feeling it and think it is worth it, extremely rare. But I did and I had a really good time, it was really nice being with her family, and playing games outside in the (not too hot, but just enough with a cool breeze) sun.

When I came home though, I really noticed the energy difference between being there with her family and then being around my family, unfortunately. Around hers felt light, free and happy, around mine feels heavy, serious and kind of dramatic in an energetic, emotional way. The contrasts have really highlighted things for me. Makes me really look forward to going even more. 

I have had some really interesting dreams, I have really enjoyed quite a few of them. It is really hard to describe how they are different from normal dreams I have, they just feel deeper and seem to have more depth, for lack of better words. I have dreamed of snakes a few more times, I have never dreamed of so many snakes before. To be true before this program I don't think I ever dreamed of snakes. But yeah I definitely look forward to the dreams. 

I am pretty tired from this program, it feels like exhaustion, but I think I am able to function normally. There is also an element of being exhausted and then trying to nap, but not being able to sleep. So yeah it has a different feel to it. 

I have noticed other things, but I am not going to say one way or another yet, as I think this might be like peeling away layers of an onion.  

I am looking forward to my nights off again, but I also seem to look forward to my nights on again 

[Fluffy]

Round 3 - 6 nights on completed, 1st night off is tonight.

I was able to sort out my degree stuff, I just have to wait for confirmation by Friday. I changed the degree subject like I said before and will be doing a foundational year too. I am glad I was able to get that sorted today as being in limbo is not a nice feeling.

I still feel weird about not getting the required grades for the conditional offer, I feel a mixed bag of emotions. Not getting the required grades and then changing, has a different vibe compared to getting the required grades, meeting the conditional offer or even exceeding it and then changing to to a different degree. I had challenges during the course and even had things I disliked a lot (felt tedious), so I only could do what I did, but I just wish I was better, you know?

I am looking forward to these nights off, process and catch up on some quality sleep! Me and my GF have started to look at houses to rent now, available for around the time we want to move in, which is around the end of August. So things are kinda getting more real now.