Mystic LTU 6 Journal

[Mystic Pymp]

Stage 7 Day 132 (1)

Oh boy, I know I've been posting rarely but I had no idea it's been so long. That's almost scary. I've been running LTU this entire time and I intend to keep running it up until the 180 days mark.

I wasn't posting because too many things were happening in my life and I wanted them to settle instead of bragging and whining about them as I waited for the results. And the results are that... I'm winning? Sort of? I don't even know that's going on.

Last time I've posted I had this list of goals to accomplish. And I mostly did this. I've found a new, exciting and well paying job. I've found a new flat where I will live with my best friend like in good old times. I'm making sure I do a proper exit from my current work. I've even found a girl worth something and liking me! But it's not all sunshine and rainbows. This entire LTU run, starting with stage 1, I feel like I've been doing 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Things work out for me, but just not ideally and there are problems along the way to set me back. Let me iterate what I mean.

• I wanted to change a job. I was given a golden opportunity and I put a lot of work into this. I was rejected from that job but I got in another, possibly even better, one.
  
• My financial situation is improving. So much so that I'll be able to improve my standard of living significantly. But it's far from being carefree, "early retirement" kind of situation. And the scepter of me getting there in 5 years or so makes it even harder. It's true when they say money doesn't bring you happiness.
  
• I've met a few fine girls in this time but something always goes wrong. They either reveal red flags or cease contact altogether for some reason. No "f*** you, leave me alone". Just responding less and less up until no responses come. The most recent one said last week how she's in bad situation and needs some time alone. The same pattern, repeating over and over. 
  

I'm sure there is more, I'm just too tired to figure them out here. What I'm trying to say is that I'm in this weird pattern now of: I want a change -> Opportunity for change arises -> I work for it -> It doesn't work out -> Something good is happening because of it regardless. It's like seeing your goal but hitting the glass walls in the mirror room. I'm getting there, I know I will. Two steps forward and one step back still make for an advancement. But when things seem to go your way and you stumble time and time again it becomes... Not even frustrating.

It's just so tiresome.