12-31-2020, 03:18 PM
Stage 5 Day 18 (1)
Happy New Year everybody! I'd say I wish it to be better than the next one but can it possibly get any worse?
Perhaps it'd be better not to tempt the fate
I intended to make kind of a summary of the past year but I couldn't really do this. I felt physically sick the entire day. I had problems finding purpose and direction this entire day which is weird as ever since I came back to the city I didn't have a single moment of boredom.
I'm anxious about his coming year, not gonna lie. It will be full of challenges. I feel almost as if I'll have to work for at least the next 3 months daily without much rest if I am to get to where I want to be. Reality will validate how this will unravel but right now I'm quite scared of failure. The worst thing is when I think rationally I realize the task ahead of me is not that terrible but my emotions are racing.
There is this huge urge now to get on with all of the loose ends I have left and fix them ASAP. By the spring I want to have as much free time and energy as I possibly can have to focus it on new projects and job prospects.
I may not easily acknowledge this but I'm extremely dissatisfied with my current life situation. It's not bad but it can be so, so much better. Getting there will take time, work and responsibility but I can do it. I have to. I don't know what I will do if I don't succeed.
Maybe I'll try to post a summary tomorrow, don't know. As for my sub-related plan I will end this run and then run stage 7 (the refresher) for as long as possible. After that we'll see.
Happy New Year everybody! I'd say I wish it to be better than the next one but can it possibly get any worse?
Perhaps it'd be better not to tempt the fate
I intended to make kind of a summary of the past year but I couldn't really do this. I felt physically sick the entire day. I had problems finding purpose and direction this entire day which is weird as ever since I came back to the city I didn't have a single moment of boredom.
I'm anxious about his coming year, not gonna lie. It will be full of challenges. I feel almost as if I'll have to work for at least the next 3 months daily without much rest if I am to get to where I want to be. Reality will validate how this will unravel but right now I'm quite scared of failure. The worst thing is when I think rationally I realize the task ahead of me is not that terrible but my emotions are racing.
There is this huge urge now to get on with all of the loose ends I have left and fix them ASAP. By the spring I want to have as much free time and energy as I possibly can have to focus it on new projects and job prospects.
I may not easily acknowledge this but I'm extremely dissatisfied with my current life situation. It's not bad but it can be so, so much better. Getting there will take time, work and responsibility but I can do it. I have to. I don't know what I will do if I don't succeed.
Maybe I'll try to post a summary tomorrow, don't know. As for my sub-related plan I will end this run and then run stage 7 (the refresher) for as long as possible. After that we'll see.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
