11-01-2020, 02:34 PM
Stage 3 Day 22 (0)
I haven't posted in some time. More often than not it means that things are going bad and while it's not Stage 2 bad, it is quite bad. I feel so-so. My sleep schedule got thrown into trash bin as I woke up at 3 AM and couldn't get back down - 3:30 I decided to get up and took a nap around noon. That throw away all my productivity as I was tired but not sleepy. Oh well, it's Sunday, I can be lazy.
What's tragic is that I'm gaining weight. And in a scary rate, if my calculations are correct of around 1kg per week. Most of that I hope is water that I'll be able to somehow get rid off, but some of it is fat for sure. I eat more as I'm hungry more. I spend less time on exercise as I'm busy with work and less on walks as its cold and days are short. I don't know what to do and I'm panicking right now that all the progress I had with LTU5 with go down the drain because of this. I'm sure that if I let it continue I'll get to some kind of equilibrium and my weight will stabilize but I don't want that. I wanna be slim goddamn!
I say this rarely if not never but this is true now - I hate myself for gaining weight. And given I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what more I could do without sacrificing other stuff is tragic. I feel bloated, I'm scared of stepping on the scales, I hate myself and I want to go back to LTU5.
I haven't posted in some time. More often than not it means that things are going bad and while it's not Stage 2 bad, it is quite bad. I feel so-so. My sleep schedule got thrown into trash bin as I woke up at 3 AM and couldn't get back down - 3:30 I decided to get up and took a nap around noon. That throw away all my productivity as I was tired but not sleepy. Oh well, it's Sunday, I can be lazy.
What's tragic is that I'm gaining weight. And in a scary rate, if my calculations are correct of around 1kg per week. Most of that I hope is water that I'll be able to somehow get rid off, but some of it is fat for sure. I eat more as I'm hungry more. I spend less time on exercise as I'm busy with work and less on walks as its cold and days are short. I don't know what to do and I'm panicking right now that all the progress I had with LTU5 with go down the drain because of this. I'm sure that if I let it continue I'll get to some kind of equilibrium and my weight will stabilize but I don't want that. I wanna be slim goddamn!
I say this rarely if not never but this is true now - I hate myself for gaining weight. And given I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what more I could do without sacrificing other stuff is tragic. I feel bloated, I'm scared of stepping on the scales, I hate myself and I want to go back to LTU5.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
