Mystic LTU 6 Journal

[Mystic Pymp]

If it's useful - I've been encountering this uselessness feeling a lot and  it's really helped to consider this just the condition in which to develop the ability to conjure up motivation and energy. As a result I've kicked off my journaling habit and started using conscious means of keeping myself moving , mainly by listing in my mind the times I persevered and pushed through. It doesn't make me feel amazing but I get through the challenges in front of me that way and it feels great after. In short overcoming these valleys though force of will/some personal effort feels great, makes the end result all the more sweet.

That being said I broke my nofap today ha, but overcame a bunch of other shit which didn't seem likely.

You're right, one must push through it, there is nothing else to be done. Still, my default way to do it is to indulge in one of those old habits of mine that make me feel like I'm doing something useful but I'm treading in place instead.

Stage 2 Day 2 (39)

Today I managed to do surprisingly much work and some more useful stuff on top of that. What I was lacking these past months in my life seems to be music. Surprisingly when I listen to music, be it during work or reading, I'm much less distracted and it's easier to keep focus on the task. I feel dumb for not thinking about this earlier :/

Tomorrow I'm going back to the city and for the first time since my dad died I don't feel like I'm being choked in here. There's more, I almost want to stay here for longer! I don't know, maybe it's because my mom was at work most time I was awake... The facts remains, something has changed with my attitude towards my home.