**Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal**

[CatMan]

I love the advice Catman! Great stuff.

I also totally agree  with Shannon  & Catman you have to learn as much as you can before jumping in the water ...and also be very aware of your own emotions when trading.

This is another great point. I experimented using paper trades and small amounts ($20-25) and found that evert time I traded based on thorough research and understanding I was making money and every time I let myself buy or sell based on emotion I lost money.

Paper trade is done via the virtual market on an app is that correct?

and how do you research and what is it you research or how can a novice like me learn this?

No, as I said before, all it is, is pretend trading. Nothing more complicated than that.

You can do it on your own pc/phone with a txt file. Pretend you're investing X dollars..."buy" x of whatever you wanted to buy based off your budget...and then track it's share price you bought it at and see overtime if you are doing a good job picking investments. Do that for quite awhile, until you have a very solid grasp on a niche(s) and it's showing reliable returns, then consider actual investment.

[Jake2015]

I love the advice Catman! Great stuff.

I also totally agree  with Shannon  & Catman you have to learn as much as you can before jumping in the water ...and also be very aware of your own emotions when trading.

This is another great point. I experimented using paper trades and small amounts ($20-25) and found that evert time I traded based on thorough research and understanding I was making money and every time I let myself buy or sell based on emotion I lost money.

Paper trade is done via the virtual market on an app is that correct?

and how do you research and what is it you research or how can a novice like me learn this?

No, as I said before, all it is, is pretend trading. Nothing more complicated than that.

You can do it on your own pc/phone with a txt file. Pretend you're investing X dollars..."buy" x of whatever you wanted to buy based off your budget...and then track it's share price you bought it at and see overtime if you are doing a good job picking investments. Do that for quite awhile, until you have a very solid grasp on a niche(s) and it's showing reliable returns, then consider actual investment.

ohhhh i see I see now thank you ok I get you yeah that makes sense! appreciate it bro!

[Shannon]

Research means learn everything you can about the company or asset you'll be investing in to understand whether or not it will be a good thing to invest in.  Obviously you want to your investment to increase in value over time.  If you invest over the long term, you're almost guaranteed to make a profit as long as you invest with an understanding of  what investments are likely to make money over the long term.  A lot of people like to invest in ETFs that track the 500 most valuable companies in that market, and that's usually a good "safe" bet over the long run, but the less risk you take the lower your returns will probably be.

If you're comfortable with more risk, you can research specific companies and consider the various factors that will give you a good idea what their actual value is vs what their stock is valued currently, and whether they are over-valued, under-valued, or valued reasonably, as well as how likely they are to gain in value as a company and over what time frame.  There are a lot of variables you can look at and a lot of ways you can analyze them.  

If you find something you think is currently undervalued, then it is most likely going to increase in value over time as the market realizes that and adjusts.  That would be something to consider investing in.  Especially if that company is doing something, providing a service or making something that will continue to solve some problem for a long time, and do so more and more over time.  That would tend to mean more and more profits for that company over time, and thus a higher stock price as it becomes more and more desirable and there are fewer and fewer shares available to buy.

You can also invest in stocks that pay dividends, which means that one or more times per year they pay you a piece of their profits according to how many shares you own.  You get paid whether the stock price moves up or down, although down probably means you get smaller dividends.  Companies that pay higher dividends tend to be unlikely to lose stock value, but may only increase in value slowly.  Regardless, you might get paid 25c, 65c, $1 or more per share you own  per pay period depending on the pay period, the company and their profits.  Higher dividends tend to make the stock more popular, and thus more scarce, meaning the price per share is higher.  

But for example, if you were to invest in Company X, and Company X pays a dividend of 42c per share per quarter, then each year you would make 4x42c per share of that company that you own ($1.68). To get a dividend return of $1,000,000 US per year, you would need to own a hair more than 595,238 shares.  If that company's shares cost $56.24 each when you want to buy them, then investing in 1,000 shares would cost you $56,240 and get you a dividend of $1,680 per year.  Before taxes.

You can also choose to have those dividends re-invested, which creates a very interesting situation known as compound interest.  If you bought 1000 shares of Company X and decided to re-invest dividends, then the first quarter, presuming the dividend stays the same, you would automatically be making $420 in dividends, and using it to buy more shares.  $420/$56.24 (if the price remains the same - it won't, but for the sake of example) = 7.467 shares of Company X.  So after Q1, you would own 1,007.467  shares.  In Q2, you would get paid not $420, but $423.13, which would buy you an additional 7.52 shares (presuming the stock price is the same).  Then you would own 1014.99 shares, and so on.

Given enough time, you can build a lot of wealth this way, and if you start early enough and continue investing in that company for years or decades, it's not that hard to end up very wealthy indeed as a result - presuming that you pick a good company, they don't die or lose value, and you invest regularly and sufficiently, and re-invest dividends.

Anyone see an error, feel free to correct me, but that's my understanding of it.

[Jake2015]

Research means learn everything you can about the company or asset you'll be investing in to understand whether or not it will be a good thing to invest in.  Obviously you want to your investment to increase in value over time.  If you invest over the long term, you're almost guaranteed to make a profit as long as you invest with an understanding of  what investments are likely to make money over the long term.  A lot of people like to invest in ETFs that track the 500 most valuable companies in that market, and that's usually a good "safe" bet over the long run, but the less risk you take the lower your returns will probably be.

If you're comfortable with more risk, you can research specific companies and consider the various factors that will give you a good idea what their actual value is vs what their stock is valued currently, and whether they are over-valued, under-valued, or valued reasonably, as well as how likely they are to gain in value as a company and over what time frame.  There are a lot of variables you can look at and a lot of ways you can analyze them.  

If you find something you think is currently undervalued, then it is most likely going to increase in value over time as the market realizes that and adjusts.  That would be something to consider investing in.  Especially if that company is doing something, providing a service or making something that will continue to solve some problem for a long time, and do so more and more over time.  That would tend to mean more and more profits for that company over time, and thus a higher stock price as it becomes more and more desirable and there are fewer and fewer shares available to buy.

You can also invest in stocks that pay dividends, which means that one or more times per year they pay you a piece of their profits according to how many shares you own.  You get paid whether the stock price moves up or down, although down probably means you get smaller dividends.  Companies that pay higher dividends tend to be unlikely to lose stock value, but may only increase in value slowly.  Regardless, you might get paid 25c, 65c, $1 or more per share you own  per pay period depending on the pay period, the company and their profits.  Higher dividends tend to make the stock more popular, and thus more scarce, meaning the price per share is higher.  

But for example, if you were to invest in Company X, and Company X pays a dividend of 42c per share per quarter, then each year you would make 4x42c per share of that company that you own ($1.68). To get a dividend return of $1,000,000 US per year, you would need to own a hair more than 595,238 shares.  If that company's shares cost $56.24 each when you want to buy them, then investing in 1,000 shares would cost you $56,240 and get you a dividend of $1,680 per year.  Before taxes.

You can also choose to have those dividends re-invested, which creates a very interesting situation known as compound interest.  If you bought 1000 shares of Company X and decided to re-invest dividends, then the first quarter, presuming the dividend stays the same, you would automatically be making $420 in dividends, and using it to buy more shares.  $420/$56.24 (if the price remains the same - it won't, but for the sake of example) = 7.467 shares of Company X.  So after Q1, you would own 1,007.467  shares.  In Q2, you would get paid not $420, but $423.13, which would buy you an additional 7.52 shares (presuming the stock price is the same).  Then you would own 1014.99 shares, and so on.

Given enough time, you can build a lot of wealth this way, and if you start early enough and continue investing in that company for years or decades, it's not that hard to end up very wealthy indeed  as a result - presuming that you pick a good company, they don't die or lose value, and you invest regularly and sufficiently, and re-invest dividends.

Anyone see an error, feel free to correct me, but that's my understanding of it.

Thats amazing @Shannon thanks bro. The real issue for me is understanding what to research and how to research it. The rest you said makes sense. I have time this semester at uni to really knuckle down with my major but also to try and focus on learning this.

[Jake2015]

19/180
Day 19 OFF - Sunday June 6 - OFF #2

2nd day off. Felt very tired and sleepy again today. Felt some head tension (not reached a headache but almost) too nothing bad but again it was there.

Nothing else to really report that ive noticed. Mentally chatter about the future and random fears to pop in an out as normal.

Now is the first time im ending at 2 days off and begins the 2 day on and 2 days off.
---

Just for my records...

Day 20 On - Mon 7 June
Day 21 On - Tues 8 June

Day 22 Off - Wed 9 June
Day 23 Off - Thurs 10 June

Day 24 On - Fri 11 June
Day 25 On - Sat 12 June

Day 26 Off - Sun 13 June
Day 27 Off - Mon 14 June

Day 28 On - Tues 15 June
Day 29 On - Wed 16 June

Day 30th OFF - Thursday 17 june
Day 31 OFF - Fri 18 June

[Jake2015]

19/180
Day 19 OFF - Sunday June 6 - OFF #2 = part 2

Lol as im reading the journals my memory is coming back about what I did today. Being so tired and mentally sleepy all day may have made me forget things that ill share as data even though now at 3am im wide awake :/

So last night I was watching youtube in bed as I do every night and I knew I needed to go to sleep but I just didnt want to.

Today I had to call the airlines regarding an email they sent me about how I need to do covid PCR test and a rapid antigen test all before flying which is impossible considering I am flying this week in a day or so.

I called the airline but I spoke with authority and confidence even though the email they sent me sent me in a mild spin. I didnt feel any aprehension though I WAS concerned if the rules had changed but I still felt as if well if this is what it is so be it i have to deal with it. Is this the sub or the usual meal unsure as im confident on the phone anyway but its worthy of being noted.

[Jake2015]

20/180
Day 20 ON - Monday June 7 - ON #1

Stayed awake until 7.30 for a uni webinar was exhausted and ended up falling asleep without playing the sub. Then woke and realised so hit play and slept for around 1.5hrs.

Woke and for 20mins wondered if the sub stopped playing as I felt I had woken up within 60mins and the media player was off but then realised nope it was longer than an hour and thus it must have played. Doubt over.

Rest of the day the same as the last few days, tired, zombie like exhaustion.

Today was the first time of playing after only 2 days OFF. now 2 days on and 2 days off as mentioned in my previous posts.

Nothing else to note.

ps: the urge not to sleep and the way my sleep pattern is totally out of the worldy norm is still there however as mentioned once im back at uni I plan to make sleep the primary goal.

[Jake2015]

20/180
Day 20 ON - Monday June 7 - ON #1 - part2

extra note: I will add that today I did wonder if I needed more loops. I dont think I wondered about more days off but I had wondered what if I need more loops. I think this came about due to not feeling anything after only 2 days off. Yes its very early days and so this is simply a surge of impatience than anything else but lets see how I go along.

[Jake2015]

21/180
Day 21 ON - Tues June 8 - ON #2

Nothing new here, all day was tired again and other than that nothing to report.

----

22/180
Day 22 Off - Wed June 9 - OFF #1 - part 1

Woke and felt like I had a good sleep so will see how the rest of the day pans out.
The big thing is I had a dream that when I woke me surprised me because 1) the fact that I remembered I had a dream, 2) a dream on a day off and 3) it was unrelated to anything

Sadly I cant remember anything of it but when I woke I remembered it was somewhat violent :/ but I cant remember it now. I dont mind as long as its due to the sub but only time will tell.

[Jake2015]

22/180
Day 22 Off - Wed June 9 - OFF #1 - part 2

There is anxiety/apprehension/nervousness/stress - call it what you want but there is this feeling in my sternum around me finally leaving home again and travelling to uni. There shouldnt be as I have done this tons of times but its there.

[Real-Me]

Reading your posts has made me realise that I have not had any dreams this week after starting OF. (At least none I remember) but looking at the OF threads fear does seem to be a common focus in dreams so it suggests the sub is doing its job.

[Jake2015]

Reading your posts has made me realise that I have not had any dreams this week after starting OF. (At least none I remember) but looking at the OF threads fear does seem to be a common focus in dreams so it suggests the sub is doing its job.

 
Ah thank you in that case then its good news. I know in the past dreams were considered with earlier subs such as E1 and E2 and others so for me its 1 indicator I note down incase its data and relevant.

[Jake2015]

22/180
Day 22 Off - Wed June 9 - OFF #1 - part 3

So as you read above there was fear. So during the remainder of the day there was none lol I felt relaxed and calm I think. I usually notice fear/anxiety in my sternum. I felt nothing later in the day. I did have anger though towards my bro and frustration as he avoided doing something for that I needed doing for my packing and for my travelling too. I anyway got over it quickly too.

---

23/180
Day 23 Off - Thurs June 10 - OFF #2

So I didnt sleep at all. My flight was at 6am. At 2.30am I was dressed in the clothes for travelling and I was packing my huge suitcase number 3 last minute due to reasons outside my control. Being a hot morning and perhaps adrenaline I was sweating alot and thus running on adrenaline. All good so far then got in the car and lost my cool with bro and our friend who were both taking me to the airport to help with the offloading of luggage from car.

So I lost my cool briefly and composed myself but I always lose my cool at something when my bro is involved and it pisses me right off as it shouldnt be the case. Im stating anger here in this journal as data incase anger is related to fear or something OF works on?

Anyway got to the airport and was in line. I was a little not anxious but concerned. its hard to say what it was but I wasnt relaxed yet not worried and it was because the airline told me I wont need any covid testing to land in the next country through which I was transiting yet I knew at the airport that rule may not stand. Anyway got to the check in and I was calm cool and in control because I thought "well worst case is i dont fly and either fly another route on Sunday maybe" but anyway I was correct no test was needed and off I went. All the way through I wasnt at all nervous or anxious as I may be. I was relaxed.

I so was on the plane and wanted to call the male air steward to ask about whether I could stand to get to my cabin bag or if the seatbelts had to remain on and thus no standing, as I couldnt see the seatbelt light/indicator anywhere on the overhead panel. Im always apprehensive of pressing that button when i want to as I dont know I feel im disturbing them or being a nuisance perhaps. Is that fear? well I didnt press it but he soon walked towards me so I was able to ask and thus got the postive and stood up and got on with what I wanted to do.

I got to the first country through which I was transiting and all good. I then had 2 hours before getting on the next plane. Normally I wouldnt go for a walk or anything i would simply get to the gate and sit there and wait. I wouldnt go for a walk out of fear of getting lost or missing the flight I think. Anyway I spoke to my sis the day before and she said go for a walk and look for some postcards as postcards from every country we members of a family may visit we get postcards from. So this time as soon as I felt I MAY have found the gate (the flight no didnt seem at all familiar) I thought ok ill go for a walk with my cabin baggage in tow.

I walked towards another big overhead monitor of flights and again same and ONLY flight at the time and destination was shown so I was sure that that gate was mine and it was literally the gate I had arrived next too lol so I knew where that was so off I went on a walk. I think hiding behind a mask gives an extra confidence so this data im providing may not be fair or true as its same as perhaps wearing a Royal Knights helmet, though I have never worn such an attire nor do us brits live in the medieval period but the point is a mask or helmet perhaps provides a shield or defence from the world.

Anyway I went into a shop bought some souvenirs but no postcards were sold so they told me to try the next area/concourse whatever its called. As I walked I saw a member of airport/airline staff and approached. As i spoke she thought I asked her if its ok to smoke (WTF i know right haha) and she immediately said no there is no smoking here to which I said "no ive not even mentioned smoking at all" we laughed and then I asked her and she wasnt sure but pointed in the direction I was headed for postcards. Got there walked a little saw a shop and bought some cards and other things.

Walked back past the no smoker and shouted "got it all" holding up the new gift bag of items in my hand and she was pleased. Nothing relevant but nice to share this here if not data atleast to give you the read some context.

Got to the gate and sat and nothing new.

Got on the plane and sat down on row 5C. I was told by the airline I was 5C. I wanted 5A but was informed a mother and child had already reserved that so ok. The people came onto the plane SLOWLY and then an older lady of say 60 and her toyboy/son I dunno was behind her and she stopped I looked up and she said I am row 5C and showed me her ticket/boarding pass. The lady and guy were nationals of this airline and destination country so their english wasnt first language so broken but understandable. The guy took over and said this is her seat and I said well i was told this is my seat. He then ordered me to show him my boarding pass. I chuckled behind the mask of power i was wearing haha I said na im good im not showing you my ticket. I was thinking come on man you arent staff or my leader what the hell haha

Anyway this continued for a minute then a sexy airstewardess came and asked for my ticket so I showed her. She saw my seat for the previous flight on which 5A was written and she goes ah you are 5A go sit there. Now I saw her mistake but hey im not gonna care nor argue so i got up and moved to there and though whatever im cool. I sat and after a while guess who turn up but a woman and a child but also a man haha The original lady and her toyboy however did not sit on 5C but on row 6 not behind me but across the aisle on the right side of the plane and I on the left. I thought what was all that for then but anyyway now new guy was discussing with toyboy about how they have all taken the wrong seats and it was getting a little amusing like a comedy sketch in a national lampoons film.

The lady with ther child however were nice and a little shy and eventually she spoke to me and I was polite and asked if she really wanted this seat or was happy with the 2 vacant seats next to me but she really wanted this seat. Another airstewardess came over checked my ticket and now told me that I was sat on 2C and need to go there. Yes my ticket said 2C if you really looked hard enough whch I didnt as I was told where to sit by the airline on the phone when I booked the ticket and also i was just not in the mindset I guess to bother to check so diligently this time whereas normally I would be far more prudent.

So I moved to that seat no problem no fear or anxiety. I was finding it all an adventure. I was sat on 2C, 2B was empty and a guy was sat on 2A. Since 2B was empty I put my gear down there and sat down and buckled in. He didnt mind about my stuff being there though I was conscious of asking him but didnt especially when someone couldnt put there bag in the cabin locker above so he kindly said no problem and got up and by me (so I got up and stood in the aisle) so he could get his backpack and put it between his legs space at his seat. From there I heard his accent and he was an american. So we got talking. I cant go into detail as he couldnt with me but he didnt know I know my movies so we got talking and he worked in the film industry on sets and was flying over to my destination country to work on a new movie.

I worked out what the movie was much to his astonishment and then we chatted during the flight and I threw in little things such as if you have any day passes look me up and ill come and see how movies are made and maybe rub shoulders with some A-Listers etc. We then fell asleep (not together lol) and when we woke closer to landing there wasnt much chit chat and so i thought well im not going to beg to stay in touch it was a cool chat but if you suggest it then cool otherwise que sera sera (google it for those that dont know this terminology).

Anyway I got off the plane no chat except the usual cordial goodbyes with him and i went to get my luggage. I got to the taxis and saw my landlord had called me (missed call but I was on the plane). Coincidence and bizarre as she never calls but texts. I was a little unsure and hesitant. Cant recall if anxious to be honest but some element of trepidation did enter my body however fuck it I messaged to say I just messaged so wassup ( I didnt type like this those lol) and then she called and she basically wanted to know my future plans and when I plan to either leave the country after my course or stay so had a chit chat though i was now exhausted.

I got to my place, and the rest it irrelevant. I hadnt slept for around 34hours up to this point and then I planned to stay awake for the remainder of the day until I could rest my clock. I basically hadnt slept for 47hours and then did fall asleep.

---

24/180
Day 24 ON - Friday June 11 - ON #1

So I slept without playing the sub. I suddenly woke up twice during the sleep and then fell asleep almost immediately but recall no dreams at all. I then got woken up at 2pm time here in this country by my mum saying I should wake up now. This was around 12-13hours worth of sleep and I was exhausted. I realised I hadnt played the sub so hit play and slept again for another 2 hours. I woke tired again and exhausted.

When I played the sub at the usual 13/15 volume the only difference now was that the phone was on this bed/mattress closer to my head. I felt a throb in my head. Left temple. It was a a trobbing sensation. Not pain or sore but obvious on n off tension of sorts that was up and down lets say like a pulse. It lasted I think for around a few mins maybe 5 at max.

Rest of the day was of nothing noteworthy.

I should add that I know I have feeling conscious and insecure of my looks for the past few days. Relevant no idea again something I recall so adding it. Do I tend to feel insecure like other humans sure, however am I more aware of my own self image and how I must look to others, yes I think im more aware of the reality of how big or small i look compared to the past where I was perhaps delusional of my reality and more optimistic of how beautiful I must be lol

Time here is now 4.56am and im still not willing to go to sleep. The same as yesterday even though I was tired. I seem to fight the need to sleep or go to bed as if it is boring perhaps.

Anyway thats all the data for now.

as a reminder I am currently on 2 days on and 2 days off and have only done perhaps 1 cycle of this so far. I want to do this for a good 2 or 3 weeks before I consider asking Shannon to change it simply as flying takes it out of me and so need a week due to covid to settle in and another week just incase to reacclimatise to my new surroundings. I think 2 or 3 weeks is wise. I have 6 months on this sub so may as well do this properly and right for hitting the right sweet spot for me.

[Jake2015]

25/180
Day 25 ON - Saturday June 12 - ON #2

Damn I honestly cant remember if I played the sub or not :/ So what to do. I feel 60% sure that I did play the sub. I must have but now wondering well did i?

I think ill err on caution and assume I did not play it thus play a loop soon whilst awake. Worst case is that I played 2 loops rather than 1 but rather than than no loops.