08-27-2016, 01:40 AM
Felt crazy good yesterday. Listened to 2.2 the night before, then next day on the train played 2 hours of 2.3... At first some fear responses, but then crazy confidence and state. Smoldering, energetic, open, etc. Went to see if a particular girl would be serving at a shop, and she sure was. My eye contact was strong as a vice, and felt like I could almost physically move her with it. She was really happy to see me and very jittery, moving around and giggling, while I seemed to full control of myself - no nervousness whatsoever. Continued for a couple hours more at least with the gf. Played 2.3 some 4.5 loops last night. Been feeling off & tired this morning, but she almost forced to blow me and have sex, thought I wasn't too excided about the idea really. Now about normal, tad tired.
But that state I had yesterday, that's what I'm looking for! Don't care about being hit on etc, but I just want to feel ON internally like that, then keep that with me as go on about my life in a BASE-like fashion. I am very drawn towards BASE atm - it'd be the perfect time for me to run it too, but I'd just like to cultivate this state more & get over the reasons why I don't normally feel like that. But I do need to really get to work on my career also. Been slacking off for way too long already. Well not slacking off, but resisting really committing to it.
But that state I had yesterday, that's what I'm looking for! Don't care about being hit on etc, but I just want to feel ON internally like that, then keep that with me as go on about my life in a BASE-like fashion. I am very drawn towards BASE atm - it'd be the perfect time for me to run it too, but I'd just like to cultivate this state more & get over the reasons why I don't normally feel like that. But I do need to really get to work on my career also. Been slacking off for way too long already. Well not slacking off, but resisting really committing to it.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
