Day 25 or so
I switched to E2 as well. OGSF has been good to me, but I want to see what this does. Besides, OGSF seems so gently that I feel like there's room for more, so to speak.
A good deal of stuff has been happening, but its gone already so I don't feel like writing about it anymore. One part of it was that I revisited Robert Jordan's tapping videos last week and I finally realized how faster eft should be done. I always thought its about processing the feelings somehow, or working with beliefs, but its just states. Enter bad state, break bad state, anchor peaceful state. Repeat. When you're tapping yourself and saying "I release and let go", you're actually supposed to release and let go! Not hold it in your mind in any way, but let it go. Duh. The working on beliefs part then comes when you let go of the emotional charges tied in to the old memories or triggers, i.e. destroy the evidence that is supporting the belief. But in present any moment you're just working on states. For the 1st time in my life I even tapped on someone else (G1), successfully! I just told her we should test this thing. Very interesting and educational for me to see the same things that have been happening in me, happening on someone else. Like seeing how stress is caused by holding on to things, wanting to think and discuss about them instead of just allowing to release the emotional charge. Fearing to go into, and thus avoiding, bad memories and feelings because of not knowing how to get out of them. Just seeing the shifts. Very cool.
But, seems I'm going to have to let tapping go for the time being. I was liking it a lot because I felt like I was taking full responsibility of my own emotional state. Feel bad? Its me who's producing it, and I can change it. Don't necessarily even need tapping if I do NLP -style anchoring = "peace". I can do the tapping in my mind, changing states. Well. I guess I'll try to incorporate this attitude in with a more mindfulness -style approach to not interfere with E2 too much. But I'll be monitoring attachments, especially.
I know that I'd get good results from SM3 right now if I did it with tapping. That's because I've tried it twice now for 1-2 days and got instant results both times. I was thinking a lot about what it is that I want to aim towards, assuming I can let go of resistance with tapping. Of what's available now, I feel like SM is the best vibe for me. Not "its my best chance of getting laid", which it is, but the best vibe. I resonated a lot with what demozoo says about not letting her be on your level. If you're gonna be the leader, then its not "us". Its not forcing anything, but its not "considering her opinion" all the time either. It was unreal how I'd play SM for one night, and all the sudden G1 is basically hanging in my arm, talking about how we should do that and that and that and... and 2 women in my family even really making the effort to start and keep up conversation and get close even if they didn't quite know what to talk about. My confidence was instantly higher and I was touching men and women both younger and much older than me, directing them to do stuff. But I chose to stay with E2 because of clearing, loving, gratitude and liking my myself & others, plus dissolving anger. SM is power, women. If I don't like and love myself, I'm not going to get those things (permanently) by pursuing power. I do already like myself, but I'll see to which degree I can heal and "complete" myself before getting on the power subs again.
I'm reading the how to not give a fuck book and I'm going that way for now.
Today I'm feeling very good, positive and smiling. Light-hearted conversation. It'll be interesting if some anger comes up, like it did with Raz, because there has not been any of that on OGSF. There was a lot of it on ASC though. What I'm mostly worried about E2/OGSF is that I'll become this kind, not-in-the-least-bit-dangerous father-type family man archetype. With SM I felt more powerful and masculine, and I have this fear that if I'm too kind & loving then I won't "get" anything (mostly women, again.. booring..). As in, I fear people don't realize to give it enough value in comparison to just basic try-hard alpha behavior. But this is mostly in my head, since on OGSF I already felt and experienced a lot of sexiness and good times as the GSF that was blocking it was fading away.
I switched to E2 as well. OGSF has been good to me, but I want to see what this does. Besides, OGSF seems so gently that I feel like there's room for more, so to speak.
A good deal of stuff has been happening, but its gone already so I don't feel like writing about it anymore. One part of it was that I revisited Robert Jordan's tapping videos last week and I finally realized how faster eft should be done. I always thought its about processing the feelings somehow, or working with beliefs, but its just states. Enter bad state, break bad state, anchor peaceful state. Repeat. When you're tapping yourself and saying "I release and let go", you're actually supposed to release and let go! Not hold it in your mind in any way, but let it go. Duh. The working on beliefs part then comes when you let go of the emotional charges tied in to the old memories or triggers, i.e. destroy the evidence that is supporting the belief. But in present any moment you're just working on states. For the 1st time in my life I even tapped on someone else (G1), successfully! I just told her we should test this thing. Very interesting and educational for me to see the same things that have been happening in me, happening on someone else. Like seeing how stress is caused by holding on to things, wanting to think and discuss about them instead of just allowing to release the emotional charge. Fearing to go into, and thus avoiding, bad memories and feelings because of not knowing how to get out of them. Just seeing the shifts. Very cool.
But, seems I'm going to have to let tapping go for the time being. I was liking it a lot because I felt like I was taking full responsibility of my own emotional state. Feel bad? Its me who's producing it, and I can change it. Don't necessarily even need tapping if I do NLP -style anchoring = "peace". I can do the tapping in my mind, changing states. Well. I guess I'll try to incorporate this attitude in with a more mindfulness -style approach to not interfere with E2 too much. But I'll be monitoring attachments, especially.
I know that I'd get good results from SM3 right now if I did it with tapping. That's because I've tried it twice now for 1-2 days and got instant results both times. I was thinking a lot about what it is that I want to aim towards, assuming I can let go of resistance with tapping. Of what's available now, I feel like SM is the best vibe for me. Not "its my best chance of getting laid", which it is, but the best vibe. I resonated a lot with what demozoo says about not letting her be on your level. If you're gonna be the leader, then its not "us". Its not forcing anything, but its not "considering her opinion" all the time either. It was unreal how I'd play SM for one night, and all the sudden G1 is basically hanging in my arm, talking about how we should do that and that and that and... and 2 women in my family even really making the effort to start and keep up conversation and get close even if they didn't quite know what to talk about. My confidence was instantly higher and I was touching men and women both younger and much older than me, directing them to do stuff. But I chose to stay with E2 because of clearing, loving, gratitude and liking my myself & others, plus dissolving anger. SM is power, women. If I don't like and love myself, I'm not going to get those things (permanently) by pursuing power. I do already like myself, but I'll see to which degree I can heal and "complete" myself before getting on the power subs again.
I'm reading the how to not give a fuck book and I'm going that way for now.
Today I'm feeling very good, positive and smiling. Light-hearted conversation. It'll be interesting if some anger comes up, like it did with Raz, because there has not been any of that on OGSF. There was a lot of it on ASC though. What I'm mostly worried about E2/OGSF is that I'll become this kind, not-in-the-least-bit-dangerous father-type family man archetype. With SM I felt more powerful and masculine, and I have this fear that if I'm too kind & loving then I won't "get" anything (mostly women, again.. booring..). As in, I fear people don't realize to give it enough value in comparison to just basic try-hard alpha behavior. But this is mostly in my head, since on OGSF I already felt and experienced a lot of sexiness and good times as the GSF that was blocking it was fading away.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
