EP UMS JOURNAL

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Been meditating a lot today. Had a very hard time staying present. Thoughts kept arising. Now I'm eating at my dining room table (or rather, picking at my food) and a lot of things are coming up emotionally. I'm in no mood for anything. I feel emotional pain, but with no specific source. Maybe E3 is working on something. I dunno.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Day 3 of reset:

Woke up feeling not so well rested. Otherwise, nothing to report.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

A piece of me is thinking maybe I should have stuck with E3 and gotten the DRS to go with it. But it's like... I want to break out of the rut I'm in. Nothing feels satisfying on a day to day basis. I'm not passionate about anything. Not even my schooling. I'm trying to develop a spiritual practice and meditate every day, but I can't seem to become mindful. EVERYTHING bores me: music, videogames, TV, Youtube, Porn, everything. I'm hoping this UMS sub will kick in and make me passionate about money, so there will be SOMETHING in my life I'm passionate about. I feel like my life is just really unsatisfying and a lot needs to change. But I don't know how to change it. I'm meditating a lot and trying to become present, but even that's not helping me much. And I'm stuck in these same habits of boredly watching YT vids that don't interest me, checking different forums with no real feedback and even when I get feedback or something interesting pops up, it keeps me interested only for a bit. I jerk off very unenthusiastically, no matter what porn I'm watching. I don't like my current friendships. My classes are difficult but at the same time unrewarding. I'm just losing passion for life. And what should hve been revitalizing for me (the Babymetal concert) only ended on a down note that still affects me and has me rethinking the closest friendship I have, and makes me realize how boring my day to day life is in comparison. I can't live like this, but I know no other way to live. I'm trying to develop presence, but I'm struggling, and I'm just chronically bored. I wish I could consult my online mentor, but he's out until mid-December. I dunno what to do. I'm really hoping UMS will give me direction and passion in life. I'm really hoping my life will get better with this sub.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

A lot of negative emotions and thoughts about the past are upwelling within me. I tell myself "I do not need others nor do I need their approval" and that I am enough, but I still feel bad about the consequences of my mistakes. I need to become more present. The past no longer exists. So I am meditating nowadays to reach that mentality. Still, I have a hard time with it.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Day 4 of reset. Not noticing anything. Meditating a lot lately for self healing purposes.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Boy I can't wait for this auric shield to kick in.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

@Shannon 

Once I have UMS in full swing, do you think it will help me heal the issues I have surrounding my exfriend? I've been making strides in getting over her lately, but I just took a nap and had a dream about her. All my inner desires were still veru present regarding this woman. I would like to be free of them and just not care anymore about this woman. You said "Dollars to donuts" my issues with this girl effect everything, so will UMS's E3 help me let go?

[Shannon]

@Shannon 

Once I have UMS in full swing, do you think it will help me heal the issues I have surrounding my exfriend? I've been making strides in getting over her lately, but I just took a nap and had a dream about her. All my inner desires were still veru present regarding this woman. I would like to be free of them and just not care anymore about this woman. You said "Dollars to donuts" my issues with this girl effect everything, so will UMS's E3 help me let go?

That depends on whether or not you execute.  This is the most powerful version of E3 available, which is a biog part of why you don't jump in at the deep end if you have serious challenges to deal with.  That will just overload you, and that doesn't work.  You need to figure out what the right level of exposure and time off is for you.  Of all the products we have available right now, this has the highest level of power behind E3.  But, it's not focused on general healing.  It's focused on healing and clearing whatever is getting in your way for making money.  That makes it kind of complicated for knowing how it will affect you concerning this girl.

You very much seem to have a strong, willful personality.  Be patient with yourself.  It's a journey.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Thanks for the feedback Shannon. I'm aware this is directed squarely at UMS, I guess I'm just hoping my issues with this girl are sufficiently tied to my monetary concerns enough that the E3 in UMS wpuld really help clear it.

Anyway, the idea of my personality being "strong and willful" surprises me. I have for quite some time considered myself to have low willpower and a weak personality. Still, that's quite the compliment Shannon. I surely hope it's true.

Thanks again for your time and your input. Both are very appreciated.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Just learnes of the shamanic process of recapitulation from somebody on another forum and WILL be making use of this process for my own self healing. 


I would like to post a link to the article I read describing a simplified and praxtical version of this process for self healing, but I would first like to ask Shanmon or Benjamin if doing so, or even mentioning this healing practice breaks rule 4? I am not looking to break this rule again, but if it's cool with you guys, I would like to share this self healing modality. If not, fine. No problem. Just checking to make sure what your stance is on it.

[Benjamin]

Well.. i'm not actually sure because it's not something I know anything about. I did a quick search and it seems like just normal energy work.

Though keep in mind it may conflict with the subliminal which is why Shannon recommends not using other methods.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Day 5 of reset. Still nothing.

Anyway, here's the recapitulation link for anyone interested:
https://www.shamanscave.com/self-healing...pitulation

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Mom was being pushy, nagging me to do something when I already agreed to do it. So she snapped and started getting really bitchy which is her current state right now. Boy I wish the auric shield was active and I even more wish it were a directional reflection shield. I'd love to give her a taste of her own negativity. I would REALLY love to reflect her shittiness back to her.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Day 6 of reset. Still no effects.