Antaeus' AM6 Reboot Journal

[Benjamin]

This talks a bit about it https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Men-s...bconscious-

I wouldn't overanalyze it or anything, you can still get results from either format.

[Antaeus]

So I think I’ll stick with the masked tracks for now. Tried Ultrasonic but because of my BP medication I have to get up to use the restroom a few times some nights (i know I know, TMI) but I hate having to pause a subliminal track and if I’m not mistaken I think you’re not supposed to do that on a 5g sub. Correct me if I’m wrong on this.

On a secondary note. My amplifier came in yesterday I hooked it up to my new Polk T15s and the masked Trickling Stream track plays beautifully on them. I think I made a good choice as far as equipment goes. I think this will be my new permanent setup for subs.

[Benjamin]

5g it isn't too bad if you pause. It's 5.5g where you don't want to pause or rest between the loops.

[Antaeus]

There’s something that I haven’t really been journaling about that probably should mention. No unfortunately I’m one of those people who tends to dwell on his own insecurities a lot. I find that lately I’ve been dwelling on them a lot more. Sometimes I feel absolutely hopeless like I’m not normal like I don’t belong. I sometimes feel like I need to hide my true self. It seems almost as though this is the opposite of what is supposed to happen But I imagine it could be resistance of some sort. I don’t really know what to make of all this but I’ve been feeling really angry about a lot of it.

I also think about how I tend to be infantilize by a lot of people in my life. My mother is one person who does this but there are other people who do it as well. And it sometimes makes me wonder if I give off sort of this childish vibe. That people feel like they need to protect me or infantilize me. I have a friend who tends to do this to me who is actually a year younger than me. I don’t know why people do this maybe it’s their way of showing they care . But it pisses me off and maybe it’s starting to become clear to me what my boundaries are and what I’m willing and not willing to tolerate from people. I’m feeling the desire to start being a lot more honest about it.

[Greenduck]

There’s something that I haven’t really been journaling about that probably should mention. No unfortunately I’m one of those people who tends to dwell on his own insecurities a lot. I find that lately I’ve been dwelling on them a lot more. Sometimes I feel absolutely hopeless like I’m not normal like I don’t belong. I sometimes feel like I need to hide my true self. It seems almost as though this is the opposite of what is supposed to happen But I imagine it could be resistance of some sort. I don’t really know what to make of all this but I’ve been feeling really angry about a lot of it.

I also think about how I tend to be infantilize by a lot of people in my life. My mother is one person who does this but there are other people who do it as well. And it sometimes makes me wonder if I give off sort of this childish vibe. That people feel like they need to protect me or infantilize me. I have a friend who tends to do this to me who is actually a year younger than me. I don’t know why people do this maybe it’s their way of showing they care . But it pisses me off and maybe it’s starting to become clear to me what my boundaries are and what I’m willing and not willing to tolerate from people. I’m feeling the desire to start being a lot more honest about it.

It doesn't have to do with you personally. Some people do this kind of behavior. I know my mom is one, and I know she does it toward other people to. If you ask me, I would think that it stems from some kind of co-dependent behavior in them, and they need to "take care" of other people to make themselves feel good. Don't put to much attention to it, that's my best advice. Let them do their thing if they have to, strive to get to a place where it doesn't even bother you anymore.

[Antaeus]

So I started to sign up for the dating app Blendr today. I still have yet to finish my profile.

My intention is not necessarily to find a relationship In the context of dating, but rather just to meet people in general.

I’ve heard that people can actually use these dating apps just to meet people if they wish to do so. I figure I need to start trying to meet people and get and socialize; I thought this would be a good start.

I’m feeling some apprehension though. I’m not quite sure if this is resistance in the form of fear, Or if there something in the back of my head legitimately telling me that this is not a good idea (and it may actually not be a good idea). Anyone have any opinions on Blendr.? I’ve heard that it is a good alternative to Tinder.

[Antaeus]

So it seems as though I still need to work on my assertiveness. I was driving my dad and I to go somewhere to eat. And he has the worst tendency to be one of the worst backseat driver is I have ever encountered. We were trying to get to the restaurant I kept trying to tell him that I remember the way we took last time (although it was a year or two ago). Even though I kept telling him that the way I was taking was the right way and was absolutely sure of it. He insisted trying to take another way and even told me I have no sense of direction. Despite the fact that I knew that I was right I tried his way anyway and just ended up wasting more time and gas. He is the one Of the kind of people who does not listen and feels like he needs to tell me how to drive. So we took his way and finally we ended up back on the same road that would’ve led us to the street where we need to go in the first place. Soon enough we ended up at the restaurant. It just pisses me off that all he does is sit on his ass all day and watch TV and I’ve actually driven the streets of New Orleans enough to know where things are.

[Antaeus]

So after yesterday’s rant I definitely have come to realize that there are still a lot of work to be done. I’m not quite sure if this run will do it or if I will have to do multiple runs. Whatever the case I’m prepared for it. The evidence is there and I’ve seen the journals of other users who have said that this program has changed their lives. And I believe them. I’m still on stage 2 after all so I still have a way to go.

[DavisMind91]

So after yesterday’s rant I definitely have come to realize that there are still a lot of work to be done. I’m not quite sure if this run will do it or if I will have to do multiple runs. Whatever the case I’m prepared for it. The evidence is there and I’ve seen the journals of other users who have said that this program has changed their lives. And I believe them. I’m still on stage 2 after all so I still have a way to go.

One thing I’ve learned while doing this sub is that if you feel something just let it out. You’re the only person you hurt when you bite your tongue.

[Antaeus]

The thing I’m ashamed to admit is this. Let me just be clear, I love my father. I love him the way any son should. But this is what bothers me:

The man done nothing with his life. He was married to my mother for 24 years in a tumultuous marriage which he himself ruined with his egoism and temper. He now lives with my uncle, pays no rent, has no job, no hobbies and no life. He has all this free time and does nothing with it.

Meanwhile I’m going back to school to qualify myself for a better paying job as an instrument technician, I’m trying my damndest to get into shape or at least healthy. I have a few hobbies, which I will spend more time on once I’m finished with school and sufficiently employed. I’ve already taken steps to take some responsibility for my own life such as paying my own bills and paying my mother rent monthly. I’m not quite on my own yet but I’m working on it.

Maybe I’m not that much better than he is, but I’m definitely trying. I’m doing something after all. He does nothing productive with his time.


Yet somehow, I still shrink up when he starts to raise his voice at me.

[Antaeus]

Okay so maybe I’m obsessing a little bit but I do want to make sure my volume is set right. I’ve started to try using Ultrasonic format.

I took a screenshot of the FrequenSee app while the sub was playing and I just want to make sure this is right.

Can someone verify that this is right?

[Benjamin]

You're definately overanalyzing way too much. If you set the volume as the instructions say then you'll be fine.

Set the volume with a masked version where it's comfortable where you're going to be hearing it from, then you can use ultrasonic at that volume.

[Antaeus]

Got it. Thanks Ben

[Antaeus]

I am starting to realize more and more that I am starting to have more of a strong desire to go out and socialize with people. Usually I am more an introvert and a homebody. Unfortunately I’m not sure where to get started on how to do this. I have been going to the gym but most people there it seems don’t wanna be bothered. I did however visit a new swimming facility today And talked to some people. So I guess that’s a start. I didn’t get to stay long because of the rainy weather that we get down here in New Orleans.