05-01-2020, 07:04 AM
(This post was last modified: 05-01-2020, 07:35 AM by firsthelix.)
(04-30-2020, 04:05 PM)CatMan Wrote: Not to hijack Shannon, but that reminds me of my situation with girls.
DMSI/you are saying Point Z is possible, where girls around me that I'm very attracted to, CAN be not only very sexually attracted to me after all somehow, but then proceed to drive the interaction instead of me tending to feel like I'm driving it to boot, and that they can aggressively pursue me to have sex with them. To me, a 38 year old virgin who hasn't dated a girl or kissed one before, this seems so extreme, it's so difficult, if not impossible, for me to truly get behind at least initially. It's just way too much to wrap my head around as being possible from this level is all. I think that is the biggest stumbling block, probably more so than fear. That it just seems so far out of the realm of my reality, girls I am attracted to, actually liking me and valuing me as a REAL option to them beyond some friend zone BS as usual, and somehow chasing me to have sex. The whole concept of that seems so impossible and unrealistic for me. Coming from my position, it seems so ludicrous, so it's very hard to internalise. The self esteem and self worth, self validation are always at such a low level due to this lack of success with girls. There's almost no positive, tangible, reliable feedback to those 3 things and help them grow. So, it's a sense of always feeling bogged down, chasing fumes of those 3 things, and never making progress with girls, and always feeling beneath them and that they're out of my reach. Which of course makes the design goal "Point Z" even more distant from my reality.
I think it may be so hard to imagine, because the only thing I have to go off of, is either movies or tv shows, showing attractive girls chasing guys for sex. I literally don't have any of those kinds of experiences to draw off of. It's sad...but true. But even then, it's still a third-person experience, so I really have no frame of reference for such a concept. I've seen girls do that for other guys over time, so I DO know what it looks like, but again, it's third-person. Girls just don't act that way for ME, I'm just not that "hot bad boy guy" they drool for, so I just have no idea what it feels like. Being in such a deep drought for my life with girls, being the "amazing great guy (that they aren't attracted to)" and essentially only having hugs with them my whole life (again, pathetic but it's real talk...), seeing something so far out of my furthest point of reality, is very hard to get behind I think.
So, piggybacking off your previous post and concept, how can the sub take someone from such a low level of aptitude and understanding and even belief in it's premise, to fully achieving the goal of said program? I know it may naturally not be reality yet in a sub of course. I just mean, conceptually, how can that be achieved in a sub? Or rather, CAN that be achieved? Perhaps it is just too far of a leap, which I can respect if so.
Just trying to allow a window into my thought process etc. in the hopes that something of value can be gleamed since FRM/DMSI work is ongoing now. I have no intention of an argument or debate, I just wanted to open up a window for R&D sake.
Thank you for everything, Shannon. I look forward to the next installment of both FRM and DMSI.
EDIT: Perhaps it the next version doesn't result in a large change in results for many, the "dam breaking" like you say, it might be worth it to explore another option. I saw your post about a "stage 0" for AM7, great idea. A step up stage, to prepare people for the program. That might be a good idea here. Maybe it's just too much of an ask for some of us initially I guess, unfortunately. Hopefully not, one stage is best, but in the end, that's a solid option, better than nothing.
Hi Catman,
Let me chime in for a moment. I have been absent from the forum for quite a while, but coming back here I keep seeing the same old dialog you are having. It makes me sad in a way, really...
Shannon said it most, many times, and even if DMSI doesn't do the job for everybody for various reasons, it doesn't mean your "case" is hopeless. There is a ton of things you can do in your conscious life in order to make leaps of change. And you can hit your unconscious with these changes from many different angles, not just with subliminals.
For example, it hurts me reading your language, to be honest. It's full of "trying to try". F*** trying, there it starts already with a firm commitment to execution. No strong alpha male (I hate that term 'cause we have to evolve from that stigma, but hey, it is the first step on your path to masculine evolution) would ever "try" to do things. Where is your life vision as the badass man you want to be? If you lack inspiration, go watch or read about leaders who impress you and observe and model the language they are using, the way they dress, the symbols they use (maybe your avatar as a "Catman" could be upgraded to a wild cat) and the posture they are using to convey that character.
Then, stop that nonsense dialog in your head that turns you crazy and as a consequence paralyzes your brain. Who cares what you think that women might want, really? It's what you hallucinate that they think, which is a bunch of BS. The thing the really want you to is to execute, go for it, no matter how you might think you look like, and of course, a real woman doesn't want you to "try too hard", just don't ever "try" anymore at all, ok! Just do it and embrace failure as much as you do success, cause "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm", as Winston Churchill knew. Put together a useful set of affirmations, decorate your walls and mirrors with that shit and catch yourself whenever you use negative language going against them in your daily use of language - and change that language incrementally for good! Courage and confidence will follow, believe me, it's inevitable!
Also, stop waiting for the next shiny object promising that huge change you were always waiting for. Use the time between new subs and upgrades with things you can do on a conscious level. Read, think, and talk right, and then walk that talk!
That was some tough love, buddy, but I really mean it! And stop the intellectualizing, analyzing and reasoning of things, step out and get wet, get a life, and if things don't always work out, screw it, who cares, next! Make it a game, exclude the bad ones as fast as possible, and have fun in the process. Remain enthusiastic always remembering that badass guy you actually are. Would that mofo wolf ever be let down by a couple of pink sheep?
I don't think so...
Take care!