02-14-2016, 12:39 AM
Day 6
I'm experiencing slight signs of a hangover. Must be a subconscious response to a fear of alcohol, or shame of being affected by it.
Testing with listening less. Yesterday I was feeling like I'd listened for too long: I'd lost that loving feeling (still with Top Gun, seriously...), and was feeling a little fed up. So I stopped and maybe 6 hours later that good feeling started to come back. It was an awesome day and I didn't feel like doing much of anything besides laying on my bed on my back. I was very tired, took 3 naps, I think, and I clearly felt something was going on inside my brain. Weird sensations that I wasn't quite sure how to label, and eventually a sense of releasing and of having released something. Feeling a little worn, but good.
Something I realized was that I'm always rushing for something. If I'm not rushing towards something productive, then I'm rushing towards eating a mountain of nachos and watching a large number of tv shows, i.e. rushing away from something. I'll work on shifting that towards working on more positive things, while taking all the time I need.
I was invited to have some beers with a few guys, was nice. Wasn't sure if I'd only know 1 person there or several, but I wasn't worried at all that I might feel like a stranger or something. That's something that would've worried me a year or two back. Now it seems like the only situation that'd happen in was if they were all massive douches. And then, I'd leave asap anyway.
I'm experiencing slight signs of a hangover. Must be a subconscious response to a fear of alcohol, or shame of being affected by it.
Testing with listening less. Yesterday I was feeling like I'd listened for too long: I'd lost that loving feeling (still with Top Gun, seriously...), and was feeling a little fed up. So I stopped and maybe 6 hours later that good feeling started to come back. It was an awesome day and I didn't feel like doing much of anything besides laying on my bed on my back. I was very tired, took 3 naps, I think, and I clearly felt something was going on inside my brain. Weird sensations that I wasn't quite sure how to label, and eventually a sense of releasing and of having released something. Feeling a little worn, but good.
Something I realized was that I'm always rushing for something. If I'm not rushing towards something productive, then I'm rushing towards eating a mountain of nachos and watching a large number of tv shows, i.e. rushing away from something. I'll work on shifting that towards working on more positive things, while taking all the time I need.
I was invited to have some beers with a few guys, was nice. Wasn't sure if I'd only know 1 person there or several, but I wasn't worried at all that I might feel like a stranger or something. That's something that would've worried me a year or two back. Now it seems like the only situation that'd happen in was if they were all massive douches. And then, I'd leave asap anyway.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
