EHPRA Journal

[mat422]

-Reduce the fear enough to get a good job and stay employed. In the past I eventually quit or sabotage myself so I lose it.

-Reduce my fear around perfection or not being good enough. I make electronic music and I've found my biggest problem is worrying if my music is good enough or if I'm doing things right. It completely kills the creative flow. On top of that I avoid doing the thing I love the most. I'll also rarely ever finish anything and even if I do it's a huge mental strain. I've noticed the most successful people are the ones who aren't afraid to make mistakes and aren't hung up on doing things perfect

- Cut down on some of my more general anxiety. For as long as I can remember I've had this persistent feeling of being screwed in life. Like no matter what I do it's all going to turn out horribly. It's a pretty unpleasant feeling to wake up to in the morning and makes me hate going to sleep at night.

- Open up more with friends and family. I have a huge wall built up. I've never felt like I could get close to people, it's like I'm always keeping them at arms length because I'm afraid of something horrible happening if I open up.

I would have hoped that EPHRA would have been able to clear some of the issues you mention, especially after running for a whole year?

Yeah that's what I hoped for too. I'll eventually go back to it if OF doesn't deliver because I did make some great changes on it. I think the problem was fear has always held me back from accepting the subliminals and making changes. So it's like running into a brick wall over and over.

A lot of the issues I face are identical to some of the things my mom's side of the family deals with. So definitely being born with a certain temperament caused a whole breeding ground of negative beliefs and dysfunctional behavior.