11-02-2015, 12:21 PM
ARGH!
Ok, so a phone call with my parents sent me on a spiral. I'll keep it brief, it was a normal call, i told them im fine and nothing really going on, they then talk about family, moan, misery, couple good things, then goodbyes.
I wanted to call to cheer them up but i ended up being a bit of a nob and not really talking to them. I wasn't horrible in anyway but I didn't do what I wanted, which was to cheer them up! I'm smarter than that and I let my spiteful, angry side get the better of me.
Since after the call literally in my head, I'm like "f**k everything"!! Planning on staying on my own at xmas and not visiting my mum, dad, family. Same with friends, facebook, tinder, everything. Im just like "f**k all y'all".
But that attitude is in my head, so clear and so angry. Yet on the outside, in person im being normal, polite, friendly, even chatty. But the contrast to between external calm(ish) actions and internal angry, irrational emotions is night and day!
My thoughts are "are these subs actually working"?
"Can 30 minutes of affirmations on repeat really make such a big difference?
Other subs (weaker, old) ive done have given me a boost, not amplified the issues im trying to fix?"
"Is my setup ok, are the ultrasonic really working as I sleep?"
Very intersting time in terms of my progression, perhaps im experiencing the DROP in happiness and progress that Dezemoo has very kindly explained in his "Happiness scale" post?
Who knows, either way i need to use wisdom in my day to day actions as I could overstep the mark, explode, overreact, do something stupid - so im wise to it and need to stay in control.
What i Have noticed is my mind is making some really deep thoughts into why I have these problems, and what happened to me as a kid that has made me this way - some very long and deep "thinks"
Thanks for checking in!
Ok, so a phone call with my parents sent me on a spiral. I'll keep it brief, it was a normal call, i told them im fine and nothing really going on, they then talk about family, moan, misery, couple good things, then goodbyes.
I wanted to call to cheer them up but i ended up being a bit of a nob and not really talking to them. I wasn't horrible in anyway but I didn't do what I wanted, which was to cheer them up! I'm smarter than that and I let my spiteful, angry side get the better of me.
Since after the call literally in my head, I'm like "f**k everything"!! Planning on staying on my own at xmas and not visiting my mum, dad, family. Same with friends, facebook, tinder, everything. Im just like "f**k all y'all".
But that attitude is in my head, so clear and so angry. Yet on the outside, in person im being normal, polite, friendly, even chatty. But the contrast to between external calm(ish) actions and internal angry, irrational emotions is night and day!
My thoughts are "are these subs actually working"?
"Can 30 minutes of affirmations on repeat really make such a big difference?
Other subs (weaker, old) ive done have given me a boost, not amplified the issues im trying to fix?"
"Is my setup ok, are the ultrasonic really working as I sleep?"
Very intersting time in terms of my progression, perhaps im experiencing the DROP in happiness and progress that Dezemoo has very kindly explained in his "Happiness scale" post?
Who knows, either way i need to use wisdom in my day to day actions as I could overstep the mark, explode, overreact, do something stupid - so im wise to it and need to stay in control.
What i Have noticed is my mind is making some really deep thoughts into why I have these problems, and what happened to me as a kid that has made me this way - some very long and deep "thinks"
Thanks for checking in!
NEW - Basic Speaker Setup for Subliminals - HERE
My EHPRA Journal - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5779.html
My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
My EHPRA Journal - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5779.html
My Intro and Ramblings - http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5785.html
