All that is gold does not glitter... yet! - Mateunio's Alpha Male 6 journal

[Mystic Pymp]

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As for the depression, AM is a very challenging program. It does not cause depression, but it can cause subconscious conflict that may result in depression under certain circumstances and for some people. Basically what happens is that it is effectively forcing growth, and if you are stuck on a fear, that growth may be very upsetting. If you are terrified of something, but the growth is happening and you have to face it, prior to facing and overcoming that fear it can trigger a feeling of hopelessness to resist, which can become conscious as a form of depression.

That can also happen when you have invested heavily in a self identity that is being overwritten by the programming. If you identify as "loser" and the program is forcing you to become a "winner", the loss of the existing self identity can be scary and hopelessness in maintaining it may result until the transition is made.

Depression can result from self sabotage. If you experience depression, the subconscious may be able to get you to avoid making certain changes, and therefore, homeostasis is preserved. It's about like making a pilot fly to a different location by putting a gun to his head.

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The more you run it, though, the less depression you'll experience because you'll outgrow the causes of it (if it is triggered by the growth process of the programming).

Stage 5 Day 16

I don't spend much time on this forum anymore, partly because I have other time sinks now to occupy me when I have nothing to do, partly because so fell disconnected from part of this community that I believe is minority, but is more vocal than average. Anyhow I stumbled on this Shannon's post I must must say it captures what I feel right now quite well. I'm going through a lot of negative self-talk, anxiety and fear right now. But at the same time I see that I'm going in the right direction, I just should not move out of the course.

I've had a dream last night and the only thing I remember is my sweetheart telling me something in line of "I'm proud of you. I'm proud of how you deal with living without me." At first I was angry, like being given the biggest "F**K YOU" of all time. But I understood that it wasn't her, it was my subconscious telling this and if this interpretation is true it is the first time since forever when my subconscious gave me a sign that I'm going in the right direction.

I've made up my mind that I'll be running Weight Loss after this sub. Not sure if I'll be writing a journal for that one, I guess it will depend on whether you'll be interested in such a journal or not: to be honest I'd rather keep it personal now, but if it helps someone out I'll think about it. After all WL might help many people, but there are not that many journals of it.