Stage 5, day 2. Nearing the end, so I've thinking a lot about what to do next. But before that:
-Forgot to mention, but sometime during stages 4 or 5 I had two extremely easy cases of sex. The first was a woman who approached me at a dating site, then came directly over to my house some days later. The other one was a girl I talked to at a bar. Both were average-cute-looking, but slim (my preference). It later became apparent that the former was way too conflicted about sex (horny as hell, but all kinds of issues against it), and the latter was clingy, inexperienced and... well, physically too tight to allow entry, lol. Yes, I tried. Twice. With lube. Dammit :D So, had to let them go.
-During the previous 2 weekends, I randomly met 4 of my exes, 2 of which said that they had just dreamed of me yesterday or the night before. All were very positive and I hooked up with two of them. Havne't seen any of them in months and one of dreamers I last met 10+ years ago. Another one I made out with a few times from the past just accepted the friend request I sent her months ago and we have a date planned. Haven't chatted up that many new girls though. Seduction with these girls I already now seems to just happen by itself. With new acquaintances they'll seem flaky or something and then I'll lose interest and stop texting. I should pursue more.
-Feeling pretty confident lately. Light. Been doing 20 minutes of mindfulness meditation for several weeks in a row now. I'll often notice that I'm resisting something and then just observe it until it changes to a smile. Body language is much better and more natural than it used to be some 2-3 months back.
-I made the decision to watch some porn again. The last time I jerked and came to porn was.... I'd have to check but either pre-AM6 or during the early stages. So that's about a year ago. Thing is my sex drive has drifted pretty damn low lately and I've been worried about performance to the point where nothing was even close to happening with a woman last weekend. We brushed it off, relaxed, and sometime later I got over it and we did the deed. I think it must be that I've just gotten too mechanical and meditative about it, practicing infrequently without porn for 15 min hand + 15 fleshlight. I was worried about diet, but then I tried some porn and got a rock-hard E in a few seconds. Now I'm putting some 20-40 min clip on and going with the STU (with a condom, because I still sometimes get nervous about them) for that length, controlling my pace and stopping when I need to.
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-And yeah, I'm torn between options for what to run next. What sucks is that what I primarily wanted from SM was the self-development stuff (confidence, eye seduction, sexuality, performance, stamina, drive, OAA) that's in the first 3 stages and a lot of that didn't happen. I don't now if it was because of the pstec I was doing (SM is probably hard enough already without so much interference), or because it just didn't stick. The external manifestations will pass in time, so what I'm really interested in are these internal changes. Maybe another run-though now, back-to-back, would bring those about? No idea if have a "strong-enough AM base", but e.g. OAA is even sold separately so that module at least should still stick even if I hand't done AM6 at all? Same with increasing my sex drive etc, how Alpha do you have to be?? Or is it the case of "if something is resisted, then everything is resisted"? Also, I feel fine and I only had some negativity during stage 5. I've only done multi-stage programs so far, so a single-stage 5G would be interesting. Maybe it'd work much better for me? Lacking in options though.
Anyway, I'm planning to run AM6 again 6 months from now, so I have a few options for what to run during this summer:
1) SM3 -> get OAA, sex drive, sexual performance stuff, continue with the manifestations and have a fun summer ;) Could be boring if it still didn't work properly.
2) 1-3 months End premature ejaculation 5G + 3 months EPHRA -> get PE handled prep for AM (I want to do whatever the f. I like for 20-30 minutes and not stress about PE or EQ).
3) WM2 -> Looking at the bigger picture (lifestyle), I always thought of SM as just a stepping stone to get to WM. Not sure if I'm over that stepping stone quite yet though.
-Forgot to mention, but sometime during stages 4 or 5 I had two extremely easy cases of sex. The first was a woman who approached me at a dating site, then came directly over to my house some days later. The other one was a girl I talked to at a bar. Both were average-cute-looking, but slim (my preference). It later became apparent that the former was way too conflicted about sex (horny as hell, but all kinds of issues against it), and the latter was clingy, inexperienced and... well, physically too tight to allow entry, lol. Yes, I tried. Twice. With lube. Dammit :D So, had to let them go.
-During the previous 2 weekends, I randomly met 4 of my exes, 2 of which said that they had just dreamed of me yesterday or the night before. All were very positive and I hooked up with two of them. Havne't seen any of them in months and one of dreamers I last met 10+ years ago. Another one I made out with a few times from the past just accepted the friend request I sent her months ago and we have a date planned. Haven't chatted up that many new girls though. Seduction with these girls I already now seems to just happen by itself. With new acquaintances they'll seem flaky or something and then I'll lose interest and stop texting. I should pursue more.
-Feeling pretty confident lately. Light. Been doing 20 minutes of mindfulness meditation for several weeks in a row now. I'll often notice that I'm resisting something and then just observe it until it changes to a smile. Body language is much better and more natural than it used to be some 2-3 months back.
-I made the decision to watch some porn again. The last time I jerked and came to porn was.... I'd have to check but either pre-AM6 or during the early stages. So that's about a year ago. Thing is my sex drive has drifted pretty damn low lately and I've been worried about performance to the point where nothing was even close to happening with a woman last weekend. We brushed it off, relaxed, and sometime later I got over it and we did the deed. I think it must be that I've just gotten too mechanical and meditative about it, practicing infrequently without porn for 15 min hand + 15 fleshlight. I was worried about diet, but then I tried some porn and got a rock-hard E in a few seconds. Now I'm putting some 20-40 min clip on and going with the STU (with a condom, because I still sometimes get nervous about them) for that length, controlling my pace and stopping when I need to.
------------------------------------------------------------
-And yeah, I'm torn between options for what to run next. What sucks is that what I primarily wanted from SM was the self-development stuff (confidence, eye seduction, sexuality, performance, stamina, drive, OAA) that's in the first 3 stages and a lot of that didn't happen. I don't now if it was because of the pstec I was doing (SM is probably hard enough already without so much interference), or because it just didn't stick. The external manifestations will pass in time, so what I'm really interested in are these internal changes. Maybe another run-though now, back-to-back, would bring those about? No idea if have a "strong-enough AM base", but e.g. OAA is even sold separately so that module at least should still stick even if I hand't done AM6 at all? Same with increasing my sex drive etc, how Alpha do you have to be?? Or is it the case of "if something is resisted, then everything is resisted"? Also, I feel fine and I only had some negativity during stage 5. I've only done multi-stage programs so far, so a single-stage 5G would be interesting. Maybe it'd work much better for me? Lacking in options though.
Anyway, I'm planning to run AM6 again 6 months from now, so I have a few options for what to run during this summer:
1) SM3 -> get OAA, sex drive, sexual performance stuff, continue with the manifestations and have a fun summer ;) Could be boring if it still didn't work properly.
2) 1-3 months End premature ejaculation 5G + 3 months EPHRA -> get PE handled prep for AM (I want to do whatever the f. I like for 20-30 minutes and not stress about PE or EQ).
3) WM2 -> Looking at the bigger picture (lifestyle), I always thought of SM as just a stepping stone to get to WM. Not sure if I'm over that stepping stone quite yet though.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
