11-30-2014, 04:28 AM
Final Review:
Before I talk about the man this program has made me into I feel like I should recap on how I was right before AM6. I feel like after going through this program that there were things about myself before AM6 that weren't readily apparent until I contrast it with the finished product. It is very apparent to me now that before AM6 I was very needy, spineless, non-self validating, not confidant, and had no self esteem. I was one of those people who bought into the whole "if you find that one person, everything in life will just turn out fine" idea. I knew logically that this wasn't true but I feel like my actions kept moving in accordance with this belief. I also realized while going through AM6 just how negative my self talk was and how I would put up with mistreatment because I thought others were better than me. Whenever a Problem would occur I would instantly accept blame instead of seeing if it was the other person's fault. I especially felt "broken" after getting out of the Navy in December of 2013. I had to get out due to mental issues which I felt were PTSD but of course they filed it under "Adjustment disorder" so I couldn't get any medical benefits from the VA for said symptoms.
Now that I'm done with AM6 I feel like a totally different person. I'm not needy towards women. I can still find women attractive (the few that still are according to my high standards now) but if they do something that disrespects me or act out of line like they would do with most men I instantly lose interest. I feel like I would be able to handle a women's XXXX test but I then feel like the test itself would automatically turn me off. I just don't like dealing with B.S. now. I now don't take blame for everything that goes wrong now especially when I notice it was due to a failure on someone else's end. My self esteem, self validation, and self confidence is now way up there. My video gaming, which I used mostly to get away from my problems, has been reduced to playing only FFXIV now a days. I have like over 80 games on my steam account that I don't even feel like touching and I now feel like they were a waste of money. I feel very bored now a days even on my day's off from work if I'm not doing something productive.
Stage 6 hasn't really done much for me except a few things here and there. In the last few days though I have felt a increase in desire for having women in my life. Its not neediness but I have noticed myself staring more at women during the last days of this stage as compared to the rest of AM6. I remember reading in a post about Shannon comparing most of AM to like a kinda of boot camp and then when you reach the final stage things start to wind down and you get more "leeway" in how you can express your "Alphaness' while still being in accordance with the instructions. I feel like this might be happening to me. For most of AM6 I couldn't careless about women and was more focus on myself only. Now that I'm getting more freedom to act i'm having more of a desire towards having them in my life. I've also been feeling like Modern society doesn't have much to offer me anymore. I'm not going to pack up my bags and live some Amish life or anything but I just feel like so much of modern society just feels wrong. It seems to me now a days that you have people who are either (1) so crushed by their insecurities and brainwashed to believe they new some "leader" (politician, secular, religious,etc) to guide them, or (2) they have major insecurities but over compensate for them and feel like they need to control and manipulate everyone. I now notice just how weak a lot of people are these days, some of which I might have at one time thought were strong.
In other news, I'm very excited to start WM in a few short days. I don't know why but I just feel excited to get this area of my life under control. I feel like a man worthy of the ladies on the inside, now I just want to be able to see more "external" results. I'm also very excited to see how the Manifestation is going to turn out based on how well Manifestation went with AM6. I'm also going to assume that as a result of my increase in desire for women in my life, I look forward to having a few FWBs during my run through of SM after I do WM. Before I saw SM as "just" a way to get better results from the AYP sub I will be running. Now, I'm actually looking forward to having the kinda of Sex magnet lifestyle in the mean time until I get to the AYP sub. In other words, I'm actually want to enjoy the journey instead of "only" looking at the destination.
I guess that's it for this journal. Its been one hell of a ride and I look forward to putting up my WM thread sometime by the end of this week.
The Sith Lord has now risen. Now its time for him to get his Harem
Before I talk about the man this program has made me into I feel like I should recap on how I was right before AM6. I feel like after going through this program that there were things about myself before AM6 that weren't readily apparent until I contrast it with the finished product. It is very apparent to me now that before AM6 I was very needy, spineless, non-self validating, not confidant, and had no self esteem. I was one of those people who bought into the whole "if you find that one person, everything in life will just turn out fine" idea. I knew logically that this wasn't true but I feel like my actions kept moving in accordance with this belief. I also realized while going through AM6 just how negative my self talk was and how I would put up with mistreatment because I thought others were better than me. Whenever a Problem would occur I would instantly accept blame instead of seeing if it was the other person's fault. I especially felt "broken" after getting out of the Navy in December of 2013. I had to get out due to mental issues which I felt were PTSD but of course they filed it under "Adjustment disorder" so I couldn't get any medical benefits from the VA for said symptoms.
Now that I'm done with AM6 I feel like a totally different person. I'm not needy towards women. I can still find women attractive (the few that still are according to my high standards now) but if they do something that disrespects me or act out of line like they would do with most men I instantly lose interest. I feel like I would be able to handle a women's XXXX test but I then feel like the test itself would automatically turn me off. I just don't like dealing with B.S. now. I now don't take blame for everything that goes wrong now especially when I notice it was due to a failure on someone else's end. My self esteem, self validation, and self confidence is now way up there. My video gaming, which I used mostly to get away from my problems, has been reduced to playing only FFXIV now a days. I have like over 80 games on my steam account that I don't even feel like touching and I now feel like they were a waste of money. I feel very bored now a days even on my day's off from work if I'm not doing something productive.
Stage 6 hasn't really done much for me except a few things here and there. In the last few days though I have felt a increase in desire for having women in my life. Its not neediness but I have noticed myself staring more at women during the last days of this stage as compared to the rest of AM6. I remember reading in a post about Shannon comparing most of AM to like a kinda of boot camp and then when you reach the final stage things start to wind down and you get more "leeway" in how you can express your "Alphaness' while still being in accordance with the instructions. I feel like this might be happening to me. For most of AM6 I couldn't careless about women and was more focus on myself only. Now that I'm getting more freedom to act i'm having more of a desire towards having them in my life. I've also been feeling like Modern society doesn't have much to offer me anymore. I'm not going to pack up my bags and live some Amish life or anything but I just feel like so much of modern society just feels wrong. It seems to me now a days that you have people who are either (1) so crushed by their insecurities and brainwashed to believe they new some "leader" (politician, secular, religious,etc) to guide them, or (2) they have major insecurities but over compensate for them and feel like they need to control and manipulate everyone. I now notice just how weak a lot of people are these days, some of which I might have at one time thought were strong.
In other news, I'm very excited to start WM in a few short days. I don't know why but I just feel excited to get this area of my life under control. I feel like a man worthy of the ladies on the inside, now I just want to be able to see more "external" results. I'm also very excited to see how the Manifestation is going to turn out based on how well Manifestation went with AM6. I'm also going to assume that as a result of my increase in desire for women in my life, I look forward to having a few FWBs during my run through of SM after I do WM. Before I saw SM as "just" a way to get better results from the AYP sub I will be running. Now, I'm actually looking forward to having the kinda of Sex magnet lifestyle in the mean time until I get to the AYP sub. In other words, I'm actually want to enjoy the journey instead of "only" looking at the destination.
I guess that's it for this journal. Its been one hell of a ride and I look forward to putting up my WM thread sometime by the end of this week.
The Sith Lord has now risen. Now its time for him to get his Harem
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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