It's been a while since I last posted, I should be 27 days into stage 3 now. The main reason why I haven't posted is because I don't quite understand what exactly is happening right now.
I have been reflecting a lot on my life, but it just doesn't click. There has been some serious anxiety on a few occasions where I feel like getting punctured by a thousand needles which feels horrible, at least I think it's the anxiety which is causing it. I wouldn't say there's much external change to notice (another reason why I didn't post), seems to be more internal and on the unconscious level which is difficult to notice.
I am more in my own space and I try not to interact with others (escaping into activities like games or movies). At the same time I wouldn't say that I'm completely unhappy, I have this period of freedom until the next year when I was hoping to try again for a high school diploma (just a thought) and meanwhile I have no obligations. Maybe it's not great preparation wise, but challenging all those years of shit that I've gone through, I certainly could use the last bit of time without any responsibilities. The last 2 times that I tried moving out on my own I failed and had to move back.
I also lack the motivation to post in my journal, doesn't seem to give me anything at the moment, might just be how stage 3 has been working and it might change, but for now I don't have much to write. Writing about some of the things that I do feel being like some new changes is so difficult, words just don't describe most of the things as accurately as I'd want them to. This stage is so confusing, we'll see what happens in stage 4.
I have been reflecting a lot on my life, but it just doesn't click. There has been some serious anxiety on a few occasions where I feel like getting punctured by a thousand needles which feels horrible, at least I think it's the anxiety which is causing it. I wouldn't say there's much external change to notice (another reason why I didn't post), seems to be more internal and on the unconscious level which is difficult to notice.
I am more in my own space and I try not to interact with others (escaping into activities like games or movies). At the same time I wouldn't say that I'm completely unhappy, I have this period of freedom until the next year when I was hoping to try again for a high school diploma (just a thought) and meanwhile I have no obligations. Maybe it's not great preparation wise, but challenging all those years of shit that I've gone through, I certainly could use the last bit of time without any responsibilities. The last 2 times that I tried moving out on my own I failed and had to move back.
I also lack the motivation to post in my journal, doesn't seem to give me anything at the moment, might just be how stage 3 has been working and it might change, but for now I don't have much to write. Writing about some of the things that I do feel being like some new changes is so difficult, words just don't describe most of the things as accurately as I'd want them to. This stage is so confusing, we'll see what happens in stage 4.
INFP-T
"If you dont work on shedding your emotional and spiritual baggage and egoic nature, then you are still a dead weight in society.. offering nothing.." - Anonymous
"If you dont work on shedding your emotional and spiritual baggage and egoic nature, then you are still a dead weight in society.. offering nothing.." - Anonymous
