Natious's AM6 (finished)

[Natious]

If you're present you have no past. If you're not thinking about something it cannot bother you. The Power Of Now teaches you all this and the importance of being totally present. Believe me, I know all about a bad past - I'm an ex crack and heroin addict. This book (audiobook) has been a big help along my journey to freedom (along with the weekly meditation class I attend). I've been at the very bottom of destructive thinking so I know what it's like to want a way out (suicidal thoughts, wanting to escape reality, endless confusion, always feeling lost, ect...).

I don't care what anyone says, no matter how bad you think you are there's always a way out. I'm living proof of it...

You need to keep reading (or listening) to the book until you "get it". You'll know exactly what I mean by "get it" when you do....

I have been there once, where I meditate every morning, have a routine with affirmations etc. I felt the best of my life, but as soon as I stopped these, everything fell down pretty fast.
Starting these routines again would be the same as taking an anti depressant for life, I would be dependent on it. I want to reach a place of freedom and peace, but not like I previously did, the risk of failure seems too high for the benefit.
Not to mention if all those problems have been detached from an emotional response, being present should come naturally. There wouldn't be the constant "tripping" on the hidden subconscious emotional triggers. Using the "power of now" techniques requires so much discipline to detach from the ego and you have to be on guard 24/7 so nothing can trigger an emotional response followed by a negative spiral.
I do want to return to that peaceful present moment, but now it just takes soo much effort to stay in the present even for a minute.