01-24-2014, 09:34 PM
Today was a mix bag of emotion for me. At the start of the day, i was really confident and really chill. Caught a couple girls looking my way. But later in the day it reversed.
Here's the deal. I feel I'm approaching a sort of crossroad in terms of my daily interactions. For the majority of my high school life I was reserved and bit my tongue a lot. I broke out of my shell in my senior year and during college it got better but I still didn't have that full on straightforward bold-faced honesty consistently.
For example, when analyzing my actions I'm normally able to sit back and give myself blunt feedback. I'm also able to do that when giving advice to others whether its on forums or in real life. I also manage to do so in a way that the person knows that I'm not deliberately trying to hurt them. The problem is that with women I'm interested in I take a more cautious approach (unless I'm slightly intoxicated
). On the positive side this allows me to be a "well liked" guy (sometimes 
) but on the negative side I sometimes waste time with women who have no interest in me. Whereas if I had been upfront early on I would have found this out sooner and could have moved on.
What's this got to do with my current situation? I feel that the negativity destruction programming in AOS is shining a light on two parts of my personality: the part that desires consistent, honesty without biting my tongue and the part of myself that wants to be more "political" and less confrontational with my remarks.
This situation worsened today when I went out to eat with the girl from the previous report. We got to talking and she asked me about whether or not I was still cool with my ex's. I was a little taken aback (because technically, I only have ONE OFFICIAL ex GF, my other relationships weren't exactly official) and I took a little longer to respond then I would have liked but thankfully it didn't kill the mood. (I had TUW P8c playing fyi). What's odd is that when AOS is flowing I feel like I naturally exhibit that relaxed, upfront boldness but when I'm unconfident I don't. Hopefully this corrects itself because right now this guilt is killing me.
Tl;DR: I want to remain kind but still be more consistently blunt and honest in my interactions with women.
Here's the deal. I feel I'm approaching a sort of crossroad in terms of my daily interactions. For the majority of my high school life I was reserved and bit my tongue a lot. I broke out of my shell in my senior year and during college it got better but I still didn't have that full on straightforward bold-faced honesty consistently.
For example, when analyzing my actions I'm normally able to sit back and give myself blunt feedback. I'm also able to do that when giving advice to others whether its on forums or in real life. I also manage to do so in a way that the person knows that I'm not deliberately trying to hurt them. The problem is that with women I'm interested in I take a more cautious approach (unless I'm slightly intoxicated
). On the positive side this allows me to be a "well liked" guy (sometimes ) but on the negative side I sometimes waste time with women who have no interest in me. Whereas if I had been upfront early on I would have found this out sooner and could have moved on.What's this got to do with my current situation? I feel that the negativity destruction programming in AOS is shining a light on two parts of my personality: the part that desires consistent, honesty without biting my tongue and the part of myself that wants to be more "political" and less confrontational with my remarks.
This situation worsened today when I went out to eat with the girl from the previous report. We got to talking and she asked me about whether or not I was still cool with my ex's. I was a little taken aback (because technically, I only have ONE OFFICIAL ex GF, my other relationships weren't exactly official) and I took a little longer to respond then I would have liked but thankfully it didn't kill the mood. (I had TUW P8c playing fyi). What's odd is that when AOS is flowing I feel like I naturally exhibit that relaxed, upfront boldness but when I'm unconfident I don't. Hopefully this corrects itself because right now this guilt is killing me.
Tl;DR: I want to remain kind but still be more consistently blunt and honest in my interactions with women.
