Spiral's BAMM Journal

[Spiral]

Last couple of days have been tough. Real tough. Something I thought I was mostly past was brought back up and it has to do with one thing in my present and one thing that is a build up of past events and experiences including things currently from outside of myself I know that I cannot fix personally for a little while. The only thing I can fix is my reaction to these things and how I feel. That part I am not past and is very deeply rooted within me. I speak of the "build up of past events and experiences" specifically. It is obviously fear related and it's much more frustrating this time around considering I thought I was past this. The first thing I mentioned dealing with my present is my job. Things are looking up for the job though. However, I'm becoming more focused on doing everything I can to move locations.

Today has been alright though. I had a joke to add on to one of my buddies stories today at work I had never heard of before. My first thought was this joke and i just spurted it out because it cracked me up so much. I was laughing so hard and it felt good when I made everyone else laugh. The feeling of bliss was almost orgasmic it's hard to describe. It's really good to see my sense of humor shining through with the help of this program.