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Title: Roy's BAMM 2.0 Journal
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This April.
BAMM 2.0 Stage 1 day 21

I started BAMM finally.Listening to it for 24 days now.I had in the first days feelings similar to Ultra success,starting for think and referring to myself and a multimillionaire and seeing myself getting large amounts of money.

It seems to improve my ability to do things better in some things and some limitations I had seem to fade away.

I had an inspiration to sell something of an investment I made prior and than reinvest it in something that that could possibly result in a rather small but cute passive income.

It seems I am for motivated and disciplined to get my to do things list done.

Also thinking more clearly and my intuition gives me signs to go and deal with some things and I go to deal with them.

Stage 1 is hard for me.Feels like hitting bottom, like I am being torn from
the inside facing everything I have been trying not to deal with.
Feeling very lonely,emotionally needy and vulnerable,I haven't been this way for a long time.Lots of negativity and self esteem issues also coming up.I broke down a few times and cried.Hard to deal with it sometimes.

At the same time I am determined to face it all and not stop while some other part in my mind wants to stop it and think that running AM6.0 or FYPJ will make it easier to deal with it later or FYPL which is lucky since if Shannon would have released it in 5G I would have using that now.It's still tempting to run it in 4G considering the time BAMM takes.

Felt really afraid the last few days.Really strong physical feelings in my body.
Stage 2 day 4

My intuition my screaming at me for a few days to implement an idea to make money.After checking
things and making sure the risk was reasonable I couldn't get to work because technical stuff.
I can do similar things based on the same idea but I have to check them properly first.

And Shannon is evil for releasing Manifest Your Perfect Naturally Redheaded Sexual Lover now.
Stage 2 day 9

I organized something to reduce expanses by cutting stupid commisions I pay,that will give small boost to my passive income I generate already.Seems so simple now and I could of done it long ago.Nothing big or meaningful but it's a step in the right direction.

Something is working hard on me and generating lots of resistance.Feeling lots of regrets about things I have done in the past,opportunities and things I could of had now.Realizing how stupid I have been.It's not the easiest thing to face.

Feeling very emotionally vulnurable,lonley and tormented those last few days and not in control in my life and not independent.I don't know if it's BAMM or dealing with seeing my meaningful relationship falling to pieces because of my weaknesses and seeing her going with someone else.Also feeling utterly incompetent and useless sometimes.

My dad told me that some men know when they meet the woman they are going to marry.It feels like it was that.Very compatible,huge sparks between us and having lots of fun together.And than it broke down.

It seems that some habits are fading away.Hard to hold on to them as they seem so hollow and meaningless and I don't feel like belong to my life.
Almost they are someone else's life.

I am more discplined lately,pushing myself more some areas and being more creative in them and being less inhibited and more creative.

I'm realizing how being not financially well is hurting me and I'm tired of it.Saw it today in my head as almost a collection of moments in my life going and seeing their consequences on the situation today.

Somewhat tired lately and having some headaches.Probably should reduce the listening time a bit.
Tired and headaches lately doesn't point to too much listening, if that was the cause you'd have had them the whole time. Less listening is less impact.

Sometimes with relationships like you have described, I have had them start, then crash, and then years later start up again because the timing was right. Sometimes, I have met a woman and had that happen just to enable the second time to happen. So I don't know the specifics, but don't write it off. Just let it go, and if it happens again, it happens again.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator

The scientist has a question to find an answer for.  The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
Stage 2 day 14

Displaying more fearlessness and disinhibition,pissed some people off after making some big public joke that was a bit misunderstood.Didn't really cared and than charmed my way out of it.Also did a improvised dance performance in front of an big audience.Bit of excitment,nothing more.

Also on the same occasion pissed a bit the current BF of the woman from the previous post after being a bit over kinoing infront of him.I backed off bit,and kind disappointed for not seeing what would happen if I would try to escalate things with him.I know,no touching taken and all.Bad morals and ethics.

I'm tired of holding myself back and letting people get what they want at my expanse.

I'm going more after my fears and doing things I'm afraid from.Tackled some big stuff today.

Also basically telling more people to f**k off when they waste my time or when they are distracting me from my priorities not caring about their opinions.
Stage 2 day 15

I seem lately to not put off the hard things and run into them head on.Had some nice rejections and f**k off responses coming yesterday and today.I did what I had to do and know better now what to do next.

Had a discussion with a friend about starting a technological start up.Than I looked up the patent and found it was taken.From some reason I learned a bit about patent laws lately.It seemed interesting to me.

It's really hard on me sometimes.Not really sure if it's BAMM or my current circumstances.Had some nice days than got a surge of negativity about life today.Big one.Negativity and depression about my life today.It was f*****g hard.Hopelessness about my life and my situation in them,emotionally
vulnurable and very lonley.My financial situation irritates me and I realized the effect it had on me.

I work in s**ty jobs I hate that don't pay enough money to get a car or move out of my parents house.And it gets in the way of a lot of things.Raising a family here with the high costs of living with that money is impossibe.Getting a car in homeland has become an outward bank statement and part of the mating process since the public transportation is lousy to say the least.

Had a few breaking down moments today,got better and working toward another goal.
(06-02-2014, 07:16 AM)Roy Wrote: really hard on me sometimes.Not really sure if it's BAMM or my current circumstances.Had some nice days than got a surge of negativity about life today.Big one.Negativity and depression about my life today.It was f*****g hard.Hopelessness about my life and my situation in them,emotionally
vulnurable and very lonley.
Had a few breaking down moments today,got better and working toward another goal.

I get these a lot. Still. But only when I am fighting myself. I've noticed for me it's a personal cleansing process. Getting to where I need to be almost always requires I do something that may mean I make a major mistake.

I recently talked to some of my family, expressing that I had some doubts of the decisions I'm about to make. Why? Because I've made so many bad decisions in my life. They pointed out some even bigger mistakes that I had not made and helped me put it in perspective. I am still worried I am on the verge of making a major mistake, maybe several. But would I take back my mistakes of the past if I could? No.

I don't repeat them. I've learned from them. I would never go back and undo all my mistakes, if it meant being as naive as I was before each one. BAMM I've discovered for me personally, is not a progress meter but first becoming the man necessary to become permanently wealthy and happy in all areas of life. To me that's more than a bank account number will ever be and more "wealthy" than a vast majority of rich people.
Andrew // Site Architect "Attack its weak point for massive damage" -Giant Enemy Crab
Stage 2 day 25

I seem to become a lot less inhibited and less limited and constantly wanting to push my limits.Fears are disappearing and fading away.Also I don't care if I piss people off,sometimes it seems I do it anyway to see what will happen.

Sometimes saying things that used to be outrageous for me but now are easy and I do them because my intuition is telling me to them.And it seems to work sometimes.

I don't care how people respond to me,I seem to be more free to act in whatever way I choose to.I need challenges and new things to do or I get disinterested in stuff.
Stage 2 day 29

Made a mistake,haven't done proper due diligence when moving my stock portfolio from the bank to
another place and now now will probably have to pay lots of tax for it since I haven't lost a dime in the last few years and made some big profits.F**k.Lesson learned.And a few more along the way.
Won't make those mistakes again.

No fear response about it,very calm about it and planning how I'm going to solve it.I'll just have to get more money somehow.

Noticed I'm a lot less inhibited,less limits,less fears and more going after what I want and having some sort of jerk responses sometimes,almost like I want for people to p**s me off.Going more after what I wanted.Today met a woman,felt potential sexual response from her,got her to some
date and tried to escalate things really quickly.That's an improvement.And didn't care when it didn't work.Just went with my gut instinct.
Stage 3 day 1

The mistake turned out to be a misunderstanding due to poor communication and understanding so it's fine.Gave me an interesting perspective though.

Finished stage 2,lots of changes in my attitude and thinking and feelings about things.Less caring,more going after opportunities almost automaticly and growing a lot.Implementing now things I had hunch I should be working on.

Had a big cleaning,organizing my home and throw stuff I don't need.Didn't understand how I could live like that.

It seems that my social circle is changing ,some people that I used to be closer to are distancing themselves and other people becoming closer now.
Stage 3 day 29
Finishing stage 3 soon.There's a possible interesting development.I need to do more due dilligenece about it.
Stage 8 day 3

There are some things evolving.Lost my s**tty job.Don't really care about getting another lousy one.I seem to generate myself money from things I didn't think were possible.Also working on other stuff that can be profitable.

Better at investing and cutting out when I see enough profit to reach my target and getting out at time.More focused and make better decisions and I can be very dominant making those decisions and getting people to follow them.

Working on few things.Still lots of place for improvement.

It's still not enough.It's fun making money from my own abilities but it's still not enough for a car and being more independent.My personal life is kind of lousy at the moment.Not having a car and proper income does come with
lots of consquences.

I'm better at socializing with other people and making friends but it's not something I care about too much or interested in.I tend to be depressed lots of the time.Almost feels like I lost stuff from my runs of AM and SM.
Less interest in women at the moment.Not sure if it's BAMM or it's just too much of an effort that's it's not worth trying at the moment.

One of the things I do to amuse myself is to see how much ROI I can get
on some small investments I do.I got to pretty absurd numbers by other people standards.

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