Spiral's BAMM Journal

[Spiral]

I feel like I'm struggling creatively. I'm a perfectionist and I don't appreciate the trial and error parts of design very much and losing patience with myself. Maybe it's the coffee.

However I sat down and made something pretty cool in about 5 minutes as a little experiment to get some ideas of how I want to add some edge to this new commercial I am making for the company I work for. It's frustrating though no doubt. Life's frustrations are making a head and I'm not enjoying dealing with them. To be great I must do the work necessary. I must take in all the knowledge and use it! I will fail and fail again. my mind will hurt and my heart will ache and alot of me still isn't ready to endure but I'm doing what I can. I know I have some small goals in mind and I must achieve them soon. I'm thinking of moving on from my current job. I have no back up plan now so the worst that could happen is I would end up on the streets. Can't really have that so I'm stuck in a bind again. Managing my stress and sanity is rough during this time of incredible change. But... I must dream big for those who can't. I must be the inspiration for myself and others and create a legacy full of love compassion and greatness.

I think what is happening is BAMM is telling me to let go of the past and my attachment to the future. No time exists. I know of the idea but I am not experiencing it all the time. This is going to be interesting........