Path to Greatness - Journal

[Shannon]

I would say, Javier, that your issues probably stem from a cycle of feeling vulnerable and expected to perform under pressure, without the acknowledgement that you have feelings and your feelings are valid. It sounds to me as though you have subconsciously come to have conflicting beliefs, which is causing anxiety and that is making the cycle worse. The next version of OED may be a significant help. In the meantime, OGSF should help.

But the core issue seems to be a common one. It is a cycle of "My masculine validity depends on me being able to do XYZ. If I have anxiety or fear concerning ABC, and it affects XYZ, then I am not a real man."

This becomes a self defeating spiral. The truth is, you do not need to be able to do anything outwardly to be a "real man". Masculinity is a function of being male, and "real man" is a function of self mastery. Internals. It doesn't have to do with impressing, performing for or pleasing a woman. Just as a "real woman" is not a "real woman" simply because she is ready, willing and able to have sex with a man, or is particularly good at any aspect of it.