Path to Greatness - Journal

[IronSmooth]

Whoa a lot of things have happened during the past month. I wasn't able to update this soon enough.

First off, my job is pretty much great. The only downside is that the pay isn't enough and as such I still have problems financially. But I am not looking at that side much and instead focus on doing my best to do my job. As such, I was being complimented by my boss and other colleagues for a good job. A feat which is I am very grateful for.

Moving on, I will talk about this girl whom I managed to go out with a few dates. Well we're dating now. This has got to be the best moments of my life bros. I really did believe we can be in a relationship together because she likes me a lot and I like her a lot too. Sometimes I feel that I am not spending a lot of time with her. We work on different shifts so I only see her once or twice a week. But when we're together we have a blast and enjoy each moment. I do feel I need to adapt on having a relationship because it really takes a good amount of my time. I've been single my whole life so I don't know how or what but I believe I am still doing great. Thanks a lot to everyone here!

Now this is not without any problems. I hate to admit it but here goes. We already kind of having sex but there is a big problem with me. When the time comes that I am about to "do" it, my penis goes completely flaccid and whatever I do it stays the same. It only got hard when I start imagining porn and sexy things and when it did I climaxed almost immediately. She says it's okay and we just laugh it off. At that time I just thought it is okay because it's my first and I wasn't relaxed, was anxious and I shouldn't stress about it. But sad to say, it happened again for two more times. The last time was just yesterday so the pain of me not performing and not having any control of "myself" was too much already. It's like I went back on my depressive state again. For my girlfriend she still kept on saying it's okay but I can already feel she feels bad and frustrated. Not to mention she asked me if I'm gay or if I really like her.

I feel completely ashamed and depressed due to such. It's like I have erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation at the same time. I never though this would happen. Like before I am blabbering so much about how much I want to lose my virginity but this happened.

I've been thinking a lot about this and why this is happening. I believe it is partly caused by me having that Fear of Success or Self Sabotage or other else. I mean here I am just about to do it but it's like my body says, **** you I'm bailing out!

For a solution, I'm already researching about doing Kegel exercises and Reverse Kegel exercises. I read that they work. The subs End Premature Ejaculation and Overcome Erectile Dysfunction both look sufficient enough as well. But as I said, this problem of mine probably goes beyond those problems. Like this PE and ED are only symptoms and I have underlying fears like Fear of Success that is bringing it or I am not Alpha enough. Now I am already deciding which sub to buy whether the Overcome Guilt, Shame and Fear or both the End Premature Ejaculation and Overcome Erectile Dysfunction.

Sup bro good to meet you.
I use to have this issue to my friend. I have to ask you...do you look at porn and masturbate furiously every day? lol
If you are, stop wanking completely and you should be good to go. Porn teaches your brain to be aroused by unrealistic scenarios, what ever porn you might be into. If that doesnt help, its most likely just fear. Theres a few subs that would help, Natural Seduction would be my choice.
Or maybe your testosterone levels are low?

Supplement with vitamin d and zinc and i promise you you will live a better life. zinc 30mg a day alone will help alot. What i does is regulate HUNDREDS of bodily functions and most importantly it raises your test levels back to normal. Every male needs this.

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