Path to Greatness - Journal

[Javier Gerardo]

which program are you using Javier?

I'm currently using Absolute Self Confidence 5th Generation. I'm moving on to AM 5.0 after this. I should have started with AM 5.0 if I already had the funds for it months ago. But I'm looking positively that I'll be getting AM 5.0 for this Christmas if all goes well with my current finances.

Update as well. I believe I should pick up the pace when updating this. I might be missing some changes or fail to record some things that are vital.

I went out last week Friday night again with a buddy of mine. The thing is I can already feel that I am enjoying going out and socializing. We went to an up class bar and not the usually club that we go to. While there, I danced and feel the music. As I was dancing I saw two girls constantly eyeing me out while dancing. As a person who's into eye game and Cory Skyy, I kind of followed his advice and let my eyes do the work. I gazed at them and feel kind of like a connection or something. Frankly, I still don't get Cory Skyy's eye game because my mindset is still I believe not that solid. But anyway, I keep glancing back at them and they were doing the same. Until finally I feel that they keep on dancing near me and even continually bumping their asses towards me. On that time, my "nice guy" self came back and what a shame. I asked myself "What do?, What do?" but just said fuck it and smiled at them. I talked to the cuter one (which is the girl I like) and they introduce themselves to me. I tried to keep on with the convo by making them laugh. It was sort of chaos after that since the cute girl that I like want me to dance with her, then with her friend, then her other friend and so on. She's with her family as she said like cousins, sisters but I told her bullshit because they don't look alike. This has been the trend until they decided that I should just dance with a friend of her. This is the girl who is her partner in the beginning and who also keeps on giving me looks when I still haven't talked to them. I felt awkward after that because this girl was not really my type and when I tried to grab her waist to dance, she removed my arm because I think she's not used to it and I should have escalated. This girl is a bit shy which is making me kind of awkward yet again. But I do feel she likes me, she just isn't comfortable with all her friends teasing her for liking me. During this process I introduced my buddy to these guys and my buddy is also dancing with them. After about some dance moments together, the "cute girl" that I like from the beginning is already dancing with another guy. This guy as it seems, is her boyfriend. I'm oblivious to this fact because this was the girl who is kind of flirting and dancing with me minutes earlier. And she's doing this in front of her boyfriend? Now I never had a girlfriend before and correct me if I'm wrong, I wouldn't let my girlfriend dance with random dudes at a club especially in front of me without any permission. After that, I transferred to another location inside the bar. I was hoping to get at least the number of the cute girl but as her bf is there I decided against it.

Moving on, a part of me said that I should have pushed more with this group of girls and guys. I mean really a girl at a club wanted to danced with me which means I'm a likeable guy. I should have said "Fuck Yeah!" I'm getting better at this stuff, improving my social skills, being more confident with myself, seeing if a girl likes me or not and getting results. But instead when I got home I felt sad towards myself up for not getting at least the number of the girl who liked me, and I didn't like. Like I can at least made a bunch of new friends. Looking back, I did made a big improvement from my before self who is just there at the corner of the bar and can't talk to women. But I didn't appreciate myself for improving.

From this time on I'm being aware of the constant, negative stuff going on in my head. I would want them to just stop but they keep on going. There are even times when my head would ache due to such tennis match where something would pop up on my head like "You will never make it. You will never have a gf." then I will say back "No I'm not. I can do this. I am a great guy. Being single is okay and I'm totally comfortable with it. If I'm okay with it then girls will be attracted to me." Not those give me headaches.