Rocks Money Magnet 5.11G journal

[Shannon]

@Shannon

Sorry I clicked full edit and it messed things up.

In short.

I had no real issues getting dates or sleeping with girls.

When I lost my fitness trainer job I also quit Walmart and got a new job.

I moved back with my mom cus she is double amputee no legs. She's said she's getting older and needed me to stay with her so I just got rid of my apartment and moved back in.

My mindset started shifting and back when I went to eat and the crush was my server but she never came back to my table and other twin refilled my drink but my crush never came back there.

That was just crappy. I let that go. Next time I requested other twin.

And she asked Hey you asked for me. I said yeah and she said aww. 

The very next time. My crush was my server and things was normal.

I last 4 times I've been there crush was full or cleaning tables she didn't act like I was even there.

I talked to other twin a bit and went on my way.

Monday morning other twin was my server but my crush just worked in the kitchen but she spoke to me.

So I started feeling like crush or maybe both were moving away from me.

So I ran MM last night. I'm going to continue for 4 months.

I don't want the twins thinking I'm needy or anything.

I'm just gonna stay away for a little while.

That's better than making things worse by just being present.

Neediness  I'll work on that.

At the BBQ place the one gorgeous server that asked if I like her eye brows ... she hasn't changed her demeanor toward me and I feel comfortable and at ease there.

The gorgeous server is usually my server I walked in and she saw me and came right to me and asked if I had a server yet. I said not yet.   She said Okay I'll get you a drink.

This girl is 18-22 She mentioned college work.

So my issue is definitely around the twins maybe..

is it okay to do meditation while running your programs?

Heart beat meditation and visualized meditation would really help get rid of this neediness.

Aha.  Now it makes sense.

I have been in your shoes.  Taking care of an aging ailing mother who was doing badly enough that I just moved back in to make sure I was sufficiently available for helping her.  There is very little you can do to get women when you're in that spot, as most women won't see you for the good man and caring son you are, or see you showing that you would take care of her under the same circumstances, thus showing yourself to be good husband material.  No, they see a grown man living with mommy, and run.  Every time.  The only thing I was able to accomplish during that time was with a woman who was my friend with benefits for a couple sex sessions before she fled, and with a woman I manifested into my life, with whom I had the right kind of karma to make a relationship of my desired type inevitable (although very expensive financially, emotionally, mentally and time-wise).

I suggest you avoid women you are needy for.  Let them go entirely.  If it is all women, work on yourself until you are not needy.

You should be okay to do meditations.