07-29-2023, 02:31 PM
Day 149,
It's interesting how many areas of motivation fell off over the last couple of days.
I noticed that I didn't desire the fruits of my pursuits.
Wanted to pursue my tech career to create a platform that would hold public figures accountable. I don't really care anymore. As an example.
It's as though my desire to pursue certain hobbies is 0/10, but I have the memory of it being 8-9 out of 10 not long ago.
Some of it is about the desire for validation. It's possible that this desire is at an all time low. It's possible that my guilt for lost time is reduced. It's possible that my disingenuous motives are being zapped across the board, and there is not much left to work with until I recalibrate.
Or, it's simple resistance to the messaging of the subliminal
It's interesting how many areas of motivation fell off over the last couple of days.
I noticed that I didn't desire the fruits of my pursuits.
Wanted to pursue my tech career to create a platform that would hold public figures accountable. I don't really care anymore. As an example.
It's as though my desire to pursue certain hobbies is 0/10, but I have the memory of it being 8-9 out of 10 not long ago.
Some of it is about the desire for validation. It's possible that this desire is at an all time low. It's possible that my guilt for lost time is reduced. It's possible that my disingenuous motives are being zapped across the board, and there is not much left to work with until I recalibrate.
Or, it's simple resistance to the messaging of the subliminal
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
