04-03-2022, 05:28 AM
The month of March was just bland
Felt depressed the whole month and would just distract myself from how I felt with procrastination. I was very unproductive even though I had more than enough time available to do things. Feel like a failure
Feel more lost and confused. Like life is empty. Low mood and just feel like sleeping alot more. Been much more quiet and actually more fearful of things. For example, social interactions or presentations. I still do them but they don't feel natural anymore. I have to force myself to do them and it feels very awkward. This feeling of constant anxiety is very unpleasant. I feel more of a loner and been isolating myself more. Not enjoying life and ashamed to be in the presence of others. No panic attacks still so that is a great sign.
Physically I was feeling immense pain especially in my lower back and right shoulder. Lower back pain has been an issue for many years. In the beginning of March it was a whole other level though. I would wake up in the middle of the night with immense tightness and pain in my lower back which prevented me from sleeping properly and walking properly. I was not doing anything to exuberate this pain. Right shoulder would hurt only during immense stress like lifting. I went to a chiropractor like three times but that didn't help at all. Now this has stopped and don't feel it at all especially my right shoulder. It feels like it just disappeared out of the blue. I been able to workout my right shoulder and do not feel the pain anymore. I was able to push more weight which really surprised me. I still have tightness in my lower back but no longer feel the immense pain I was feeling in the beginning of the month. But it has caused me to pay more attention to these body parts to make sure nothing will cause that pain again.
The times I felt better and more happy was on my off days when the sub was not playing. I wouldn't even notice anything but be in higher spirits.
Felt depressed the whole month and would just distract myself from how I felt with procrastination. I was very unproductive even though I had more than enough time available to do things. Feel like a failure
Feel more lost and confused. Like life is empty. Low mood and just feel like sleeping alot more. Been much more quiet and actually more fearful of things. For example, social interactions or presentations. I still do them but they don't feel natural anymore. I have to force myself to do them and it feels very awkward. This feeling of constant anxiety is very unpleasant. I feel more of a loner and been isolating myself more. Not enjoying life and ashamed to be in the presence of others. No panic attacks still so that is a great sign.
Physically I was feeling immense pain especially in my lower back and right shoulder. Lower back pain has been an issue for many years. In the beginning of March it was a whole other level though. I would wake up in the middle of the night with immense tightness and pain in my lower back which prevented me from sleeping properly and walking properly. I was not doing anything to exuberate this pain. Right shoulder would hurt only during immense stress like lifting. I went to a chiropractor like three times but that didn't help at all. Now this has stopped and don't feel it at all especially my right shoulder. It feels like it just disappeared out of the blue. I been able to workout my right shoulder and do not feel the pain anymore. I was able to push more weight which really surprised me. I still have tightness in my lower back but no longer feel the immense pain I was feeling in the beginning of the month. But it has caused me to pay more attention to these body parts to make sure nothing will cause that pain again.
The times I felt better and more happy was on my off days when the sub was not playing. I wouldn't even notice anything but be in higher spirits.
