Unreleased anger. Definitely. But remember that being angry is your right, and your downfall. It's a negative emotion, and in some cases necessary and healthy to express (get rid of), but when it comes down to it, getting angry at sexism against men OR women and reacting is usually only going to perpetuate it. That's why I am resisting "taking sides", even though I believe that men need to be taken care of right now to achieve balance. I don't want to perpetuate the problem by becoming overly polarized by it.
Stand for what is right, fair, just... but don't fall for the trap of becoming part of the problem. Or at least, try not to. Instead of "hitting back" and getting a "hit back" response that only gives you another reason to "hit back"... which leads in circles... what we need to do is start educating people to what is going on, and simply refusing to allow ourselves to be mistreated.
A woman is much less able to mistreat a man who isn't cooperating or playing the game. Same for women genuinely being mistreated by men. Personal empowerment and enlightenment is how we are going to eventually succeed in outgrowing this crap. The only time hitting back works at all is if you can manage massive retaliation, and then all you've done is generated control through fear.
An example of this would be one of my ex-fiances who at one point began throwing things at me, including scissors, knives, chairs, pens, and pretty much whatever else came to hand when she got angry. She would verbally and emotionally abuse me, also, and it was escalating. I refused to return her responses because I have better things to do with my time than be violent, or spend time in jail. But it kept escalating, until one day I realized... she was trying to push me until I lost it and beat her ass. And I came real close, once, believe me. But instead of taking the bait, I moved out of the apartment I was living in, and paying for, and left. She had nowhere to go, so I basically gave her my apartment, even though I was the one being abused, and moved back in with my mother.
I refused to play the game. I refused to respond with violence. I refused to let myself become violent. I refused to allow myself to be abused like that anymore.
You'd think I'd have gotten thanks from her parents for not putting their daughter in the hospital or the grave for how she was treating me, too, but of course she lied and they believed her, and instead of being thanked, they believe to this day that I beat her up and then abandoned her. Her father is a psychology professional in the field of counseling. He knows she has BPD... he knows she can't tell the truth to save her life... he knows how she manipulates people... he even told me while we were dating that I should run for the hills because of those things... but come the day we separated, he didn't even bother to ask me what happened. He blindly believed her and her story of me beating her and then abandoning her.
And that is a big part of why I am so adamant about men having self control and standards when it comes to women. Had I valued myself properly, I would never have even started dating her. I would never have put up with her lies... or cheating... or her physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse... for one day. I didn't value myself properly back then, though, and it went on like that for four years instead.
Nobody is going to value you if you don't. Man or woman, it doesn't matter. It's your responsibility to make the choices that will keep you where you need to be in life. AM helped me tremendously to get out of that relationship by making me understand that I deserved better than that. I hope everyone who uses AM or AF gets the same out of it.
By the way, Ben, the opposite of "misogyny" is "misandry". Gyno- is the prefix meaning "female" and "Andro-" means male.
Stand for what is right, fair, just... but don't fall for the trap of becoming part of the problem. Or at least, try not to. Instead of "hitting back" and getting a "hit back" response that only gives you another reason to "hit back"... which leads in circles... what we need to do is start educating people to what is going on, and simply refusing to allow ourselves to be mistreated.
A woman is much less able to mistreat a man who isn't cooperating or playing the game. Same for women genuinely being mistreated by men. Personal empowerment and enlightenment is how we are going to eventually succeed in outgrowing this crap. The only time hitting back works at all is if you can manage massive retaliation, and then all you've done is generated control through fear.
An example of this would be one of my ex-fiances who at one point began throwing things at me, including scissors, knives, chairs, pens, and pretty much whatever else came to hand when she got angry. She would verbally and emotionally abuse me, also, and it was escalating. I refused to return her responses because I have better things to do with my time than be violent, or spend time in jail. But it kept escalating, until one day I realized... she was trying to push me until I lost it and beat her ass. And I came real close, once, believe me. But instead of taking the bait, I moved out of the apartment I was living in, and paying for, and left. She had nowhere to go, so I basically gave her my apartment, even though I was the one being abused, and moved back in with my mother.
I refused to play the game. I refused to respond with violence. I refused to let myself become violent. I refused to allow myself to be abused like that anymore.
You'd think I'd have gotten thanks from her parents for not putting their daughter in the hospital or the grave for how she was treating me, too, but of course she lied and they believed her, and instead of being thanked, they believe to this day that I beat her up and then abandoned her. Her father is a psychology professional in the field of counseling. He knows she has BPD... he knows she can't tell the truth to save her life... he knows how she manipulates people... he even told me while we were dating that I should run for the hills because of those things... but come the day we separated, he didn't even bother to ask me what happened. He blindly believed her and her story of me beating her and then abandoning her.
And that is a big part of why I am so adamant about men having self control and standards when it comes to women. Had I valued myself properly, I would never have even started dating her. I would never have put up with her lies... or cheating... or her physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse... for one day. I didn't value myself properly back then, though, and it went on like that for four years instead.
Nobody is going to value you if you don't. Man or woman, it doesn't matter. It's your responsibility to make the choices that will keep you where you need to be in life. AM helped me tremendously to get out of that relationship by making me understand that I deserved better than that. I hope everyone who uses AM or AF gets the same out of it.
By the way, Ben, the opposite of "misogyny" is "misandry". Gyno- is the prefix meaning "female" and "Andro-" means male.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
