06-07-2021, 12:40 PM
(06-07-2021, 11:05 AM)whome Wrote: Day 16
Shannon said to drop the third day off, then start with increasing loops per day to 3, then adding days, so that’s what I’m doing. Today is the second day on, then I’ll take two days off, then I’ll start increasing loops.
Meanwhile, nothing to report. I’m still struggling to get up in the morning, and fighting a sense of hopelessness and pointlessness. I can still feel the fear inside it all, which is why I’m hoping that OF will be able to help.
The hopelessness is fierce. The idea that “I’m broken” has been stuck in my head, and I’ve managed to turn that into “My emotional system is broken”, which is maybe a bit better, but that doesn’t make a huge practical difference. I can’t imagine that any healthy woman would want someone with an emotional system this broken. My last girlfriend had emotional issues just as bad, if not worse, and it was exhausting trying to hold her in them, and it’s hard to be sexy in that kind of a space, so the hopelessness of the loneliness grinds on. Sure, if OF manages to fix me over the space of a year, sure, then I try something like DMSI in my mid-40s, but the more that I let myself think about my situation, the more that the idea of me finding a woman that I find attractive who finds me attractive back seems ludicrous.
I don't mean to change the subject, but do you have a therapist? I (and many other people I know personally with "broken emotional systems") have found body based therapy to be very helpful. It is also a long term plan. Also the "Natural" teachers I've really followed on attracting women have always emphasized going really deep into the body to resolve issues. There are many different techniques to do so, so I won't get into that.
I've found OF has really helped smooth out my mind, while I work deeply on these things in the body. I don't have a full understanding of it all, but I've enjoyed my short time on OF (v2), life is a lot more chill and productive.
Just don't want to see you suffer, I know that hopelessness well, and you may need a multi-faceted approach if you're not already on that kind of track. Subliminals are amazing tools for change but part of overcoming your apathy may require more proactivity.
