02-08-2021, 08:29 AM
Stage 4
Cycle 2/4
Day 3/8
Had a dream where all these little monsters that look like Typhon enemies from prey that morph into people that transform into people and I was trying to run away from them. It was weird, cause it was almost like they represented some kind of guilt or something because they transform into some indistinguishable friends and projecting memories into my head. In the end, I had to forgive myself in order to destroy them.
I noticed my personal relationships have been improving steadily and it's nice to see and feel these relationships and the intimacy that goes along with it.
I had some event trigger the self-esteem issues that made me really reflect on my self-esteem issues and tackle some old beliefs about attractive people. There was the emotional side of me that speaks like an inner child and a logical side of me that sounds older and more analytical and trying to reconcile it with my therapist.
The emotional side of me says "I want it" and displaying the past belief that I lacked it or wasn't attractive. other thoughts that tied to that is the belief that they have no problems and their life must be pretty great.
The logical side of me understands the fact that they have their own issues like having their attractiveness essentially override any form of nonphysical traits they have or everyone has subconscious notions and judgments of them. My therapist mentioned that some of his most conventionally attractive clients are some of the loneliest people and it appeals to this side of my brain while my emotional side is essentially not having any of it.
So I'm trying to find a way to reconcile the two sides or heal the emotional side of me that thinks this is something I want to do on both conscious and subconscious fronts.
Cycle 2/4
Day 3/8
Had a dream where all these little monsters that look like Typhon enemies from prey that morph into people that transform into people and I was trying to run away from them. It was weird, cause it was almost like they represented some kind of guilt or something because they transform into some indistinguishable friends and projecting memories into my head. In the end, I had to forgive myself in order to destroy them.
I noticed my personal relationships have been improving steadily and it's nice to see and feel these relationships and the intimacy that goes along with it.
I had some event trigger the self-esteem issues that made me really reflect on my self-esteem issues and tackle some old beliefs about attractive people. There was the emotional side of me that speaks like an inner child and a logical side of me that sounds older and more analytical and trying to reconcile it with my therapist.
The emotional side of me says "I want it" and displaying the past belief that I lacked it or wasn't attractive. other thoughts that tied to that is the belief that they have no problems and their life must be pretty great.
The logical side of me understands the fact that they have their own issues like having their attractiveness essentially override any form of nonphysical traits they have or everyone has subconscious notions and judgments of them. My therapist mentioned that some of his most conventionally attractive clients are some of the loneliest people and it appeals to this side of my brain while my emotional side is essentially not having any of it.
So I'm trying to find a way to reconcile the two sides or heal the emotional side of me that thinks this is something I want to do on both conscious and subconscious fronts.
Phase 1: The Foundation
AM6(2020)
LTU v6(2020-2021)
OF v3(2021)
Phase 2
AM6 Refresher + SM3(2021)
AM6(2020)
LTU v6(2020-2021)
OF v3(2021)
Phase 2
AM6 Refresher + SM3(2021)
