01-22-2021, 07:38 AM
Stage 3
Cycle 4/4
Day 4/8
Again with the weird dreams, had a dream where people were avoiding me like I had some kind of disease. it reminds me of when I had my psilocybin trip and where my skin was warping into something ugly and represented the intense self-hatred I had. The sub might be helping me in dealing with this as it was one of the programs in it.
Woke up today feeling really happy though, as it was like a massive weight was off my shoulders. it is my last day in this old job and I'm immensely looking forward to finishing this out and having a week to myself before I start my new position. The room renovation is still in progress but I'm kicking it off the next week in my free time. Looking to go for a more minimal look and Marie Kando it for my mental health. If I'm stuck in my room for work as the pandemic continues to rage on, I might as well make it look good.
My mind this morning was looking into what program I would want to run after finish LTU, at first I wanted to run AM6 refresher and get on to SM3 finally but now I'm really considering OF v2 and bang out nearly a year of it. Something inside of me wants to run the former because of the fear of losing out on such experiences in my life as and that is a fear response. I could potentially use OF v2 to deal with the fear and anything else and provide me with a cleaner slate for any other sub and for life in general. Im still young and there's still time for anything.
One of the things I realized is because of my upbringing i have this huge subconscious habit of comparing myself to others and how they are doing relative to mine and it is a terrible habit as it diminishes what i have done and makes me think worse of myself. I accomplished a bunch of things now and have changed the trajectory of my life through the pandemic and I intend to keep developing my own self and clearing my own slate of any toxic and old beliefs.
Cycle 4/4
Day 4/8
Again with the weird dreams, had a dream where people were avoiding me like I had some kind of disease. it reminds me of when I had my psilocybin trip and where my skin was warping into something ugly and represented the intense self-hatred I had. The sub might be helping me in dealing with this as it was one of the programs in it.
Woke up today feeling really happy though, as it was like a massive weight was off my shoulders. it is my last day in this old job and I'm immensely looking forward to finishing this out and having a week to myself before I start my new position. The room renovation is still in progress but I'm kicking it off the next week in my free time. Looking to go for a more minimal look and Marie Kando it for my mental health. If I'm stuck in my room for work as the pandemic continues to rage on, I might as well make it look good.
My mind this morning was looking into what program I would want to run after finish LTU, at first I wanted to run AM6 refresher and get on to SM3 finally but now I'm really considering OF v2 and bang out nearly a year of it. Something inside of me wants to run the former because of the fear of losing out on such experiences in my life as and that is a fear response. I could potentially use OF v2 to deal with the fear and anything else and provide me with a cleaner slate for any other sub and for life in general. Im still young and there's still time for anything.
One of the things I realized is because of my upbringing i have this huge subconscious habit of comparing myself to others and how they are doing relative to mine and it is a terrible habit as it diminishes what i have done and makes me think worse of myself. I accomplished a bunch of things now and have changed the trajectory of my life through the pandemic and I intend to keep developing my own self and clearing my own slate of any toxic and old beliefs.
Phase 1: The Foundation
AM6(2020)
LTU v6(2020-2021)
OF v3(2021)
Phase 2
AM6 Refresher + SM3(2021)
AM6(2020)
LTU v6(2020-2021)
OF v3(2021)
Phase 2
AM6 Refresher + SM3(2021)
