I feel like a different person. I don't think I've been getting a lot of success and luck, at least none that is very visible, but i do feel like certain alterations are embedding at a core level. I had an experience which was dreadful; my whole upper body felt covered in this feeling of dread and horror and in my mind i saw so many existing in this state. I spent days after with tears in my eyes and my partner asking me what was wrong. That place of fear is bound up with so many drives and so much sense of want and lack - that in my 'vision' there were entities just scrabbling for more in a state of writhing pain which no one knew how to deal with.
When I felt compassion for these entities i was no longer one of them, and it elevated me to a higher state where there was less pain but a sense of sorrow and love. This continued for a bit and then something said to me that courage is to be practiced and you must assert yourself in spite of this sorrow which has taken me to a stronger place in my life. I noticed that when meeting with people since they are much friendlier and open - this I know is because my 'energy' is less one of lack and neediness.
I don't have any particular goals now but to practice this courage in the face of worldly resistence - I have a character to forge which only I can, i just don't want to lose this again. I'm happy with the sub, along with the best subs i've tried, it's not just done the work for me but helped me to find a path to do the work to develop as well.
When I felt compassion for these entities i was no longer one of them, and it elevated me to a higher state where there was less pain but a sense of sorrow and love. This continued for a bit and then something said to me that courage is to be practiced and you must assert yourself in spite of this sorrow which has taken me to a stronger place in my life. I noticed that when meeting with people since they are much friendlier and open - this I know is because my 'energy' is less one of lack and neediness.
I don't have any particular goals now but to practice this courage in the face of worldly resistence - I have a character to forge which only I can, i just don't want to lose this again. I'm happy with the sub, along with the best subs i've tried, it's not just done the work for me but helped me to find a path to do the work to develop as well.
