Transcendental Sith Lord's OF Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Update: There is some good news and bad news as of now. The bad news is some of my PTSD symptoms sort of came back over the last week or so though they are a far cry from how they were. The good news is I did notice a theme though which I had pointed out before in posts in August. Any negativity that might be left seems to be around guilt and shame. It makes me think that perhaps some experts might be wrong. What if PTSD isn't just a fear prone disorder (though fear might be the prominent issue) but guilt and shame can play a role as well? Either way I'm not really phased by this as much because that new reality that I landed in is still hear which is why I think anything else (major depression, etc) is gone. If I were to gauge the intensity of this its only at like 20-30% intensity of where my symptoms used to be. Also I can clearly see that some things in my life are just gone. So as far as the permanently removing fears FRM seems to be working just fine.

Given all this I guess my assessment from around August is still valid that guilt and shame still have something to do with holding the person back "but" fear still is the major contributor. Some might read this and say well this is bad but I don't see it that way. I see this as the best results I have had yet and not just that but some things are just permanently changed which is a far cry from before. So, perhaps 3 steeps forward but a temporary 1 step back. before we make even more progress I think. Despite this I still have this confidence, and calm demeanor about myself. I also am fully convinced I will still get external results from DMSI and UMS in the future. That prognosis hasn't changed. Either way I will keep you all posted.