Last night/today is the third day "off" in this ASRB2 cycle.
This morning, as usual, I was awakened by my dogs whining to go outside. If only my mother had opted for a medium or large dog when she got puppies, but no... she wanted tiny and cute with microscopic bladders.
After getting up to let them out, my cat, as usual, has to start meowing because he wants out of the bedroom. So I had to get up again to open the door for him.
Then I start back to sleep and he comes over and lays on my face and starts purring loudly, so I can't sleep.
At this point, I hear my phone crackling while playing something. Last night's playlist was 1 loop of Tranquilizer B, so nothing should be playing. I look and somehow we are somehow most of the way through the COVID-19 experimental, which means there goes all hope of feeling rested when the next OF ASRB2 cycle starts, because just one loop of that experimental drops me like a rock for 2.5 days. How this happened, no idea, but NOT happy.
Get up and I start working, but GF gets up shortly after me and starts with breakfast. I can already tell she's cranky and moody today, no doubt because she needs to get back on OF. But that's for tonight. We decide what to do for breakfast, and before we even get it made, end up in an argument that could have seriously damaged our relationship for good. It was based on a challenge we are facing right now that there is currently no way to resolve, and communicating about it is very difficult also because she tends to feel a lot of guilt/shame/fear surrounding this (to the degree that she doesn't want to talk about it at all) when really there's nothing for her to feel that way about.
Instead of getting off in the wrong direction, I simply tried to explain to her my point of view. It took some patience, but I got it across, and then I extrapolated what she would be afraid of and assuaged her fears. That de-escalated the situation and now we are only dealing with her crankiness for the day, which will be dealt with when we start on OF again. I honestly can't wait to get back on it.
Me handling that argument (which was really more of a misunderstanding) that way was unusual for me, because normally her negativity would make me snappish and that would escalate things in the wrong direction. I attribute that to OF.
When we got home from the park (sometimes, we eat breakfast in the local park as a way of starting the day in a positive way), I sat down at my desk and started working. Then I realized, I need more space. So I looked at my desk, and it was covered in clutter, but I usually don't register it that way. This time, I saw a bunch of stuff that was unnecessary and either didn't need to be kept or didn't need to be on my desk.
I saw that there were some perfumery components from a week ago when I was tinkering with that, and realized that the fumes were making me cough more than necessary. My response was to throw away all the vials of dilutions that were old (instead of try to keep them, as I normally would) and put away all the full strength stuff.
Then I realized there was something else on my desk that didn't make sense to be there. So I dealt with it. And then another thing, and another. One side was cleared and I tried to go back to working, only to find myself cleaning and clearing off the other side of my desk. Once everything was off it, I wiped it down and cleared off the dust.
There was no resistance to this course of action, as there normally is, which is of course why it was cluttered in the first place. Now my desk is cleared off and clean, and I have plenty of space. This "cleaning and clearing a little bit at a time" thing has happened every day since I threw away my couch. No effort, no intent, just... oh, let me get rid of that.
This is the first time I have ever done this without being fed up with the clutter enough to make me upset first.
I am definitely enjoying what this program is doing to free me. I am wishing it was only 2 days off per ASSRB2 cycle, but I do need the rest! Yesterday after working I was so dead it was all I could do to stay awake until my normal bed time.
This morning, as usual, I was awakened by my dogs whining to go outside. If only my mother had opted for a medium or large dog when she got puppies, but no... she wanted tiny and cute with microscopic bladders.
After getting up to let them out, my cat, as usual, has to start meowing because he wants out of the bedroom. So I had to get up again to open the door for him.
Then I start back to sleep and he comes over and lays on my face and starts purring loudly, so I can't sleep.
At this point, I hear my phone crackling while playing something. Last night's playlist was 1 loop of Tranquilizer B, so nothing should be playing. I look and somehow we are somehow most of the way through the COVID-19 experimental, which means there goes all hope of feeling rested when the next OF ASRB2 cycle starts, because just one loop of that experimental drops me like a rock for 2.5 days. How this happened, no idea, but NOT happy.
Get up and I start working, but GF gets up shortly after me and starts with breakfast. I can already tell she's cranky and moody today, no doubt because she needs to get back on OF. But that's for tonight. We decide what to do for breakfast, and before we even get it made, end up in an argument that could have seriously damaged our relationship for good. It was based on a challenge we are facing right now that there is currently no way to resolve, and communicating about it is very difficult also because she tends to feel a lot of guilt/shame/fear surrounding this (to the degree that she doesn't want to talk about it at all) when really there's nothing for her to feel that way about.
Instead of getting off in the wrong direction, I simply tried to explain to her my point of view. It took some patience, but I got it across, and then I extrapolated what she would be afraid of and assuaged her fears. That de-escalated the situation and now we are only dealing with her crankiness for the day, which will be dealt with when we start on OF again. I honestly can't wait to get back on it.
Me handling that argument (which was really more of a misunderstanding) that way was unusual for me, because normally her negativity would make me snappish and that would escalate things in the wrong direction. I attribute that to OF.
When we got home from the park (sometimes, we eat breakfast in the local park as a way of starting the day in a positive way), I sat down at my desk and started working. Then I realized, I need more space. So I looked at my desk, and it was covered in clutter, but I usually don't register it that way. This time, I saw a bunch of stuff that was unnecessary and either didn't need to be kept or didn't need to be on my desk.
I saw that there were some perfumery components from a week ago when I was tinkering with that, and realized that the fumes were making me cough more than necessary. My response was to throw away all the vials of dilutions that were old (instead of try to keep them, as I normally would) and put away all the full strength stuff.
Then I realized there was something else on my desk that didn't make sense to be there. So I dealt with it. And then another thing, and another. One side was cleared and I tried to go back to working, only to find myself cleaning and clearing off the other side of my desk. Once everything was off it, I wiped it down and cleared off the dust.
There was no resistance to this course of action, as there normally is, which is of course why it was cluttered in the first place. Now my desk is cleared off and clean, and I have plenty of space. This "cleaning and clearing a little bit at a time" thing has happened every day since I threw away my couch. No effort, no intent, just... oh, let me get rid of that.
This is the first time I have ever done this without being fed up with the clutter enough to make me upset first.
I am definitely enjoying what this program is doing to free me. I am wishing it was only 2 days off per ASSRB2 cycle, but I do need the rest! Yesterday after working I was so dead it was all I could do to stay awake until my normal bed time.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
