Shannon's OF 5.75G Experience

[Shannon]

My 2 cents.

An apparent fear I felt while reading was "what if I had no control over my life's direction?"  For me, it's being powerless, all over the place, learned from living with others believing they were powerless to change.  It's a very unsettling fear which I've had, for it's meant I've allowed others to be in control, and some care not about me, much less themselves.  Kind of like your bride in the dream.

In short, living like that was living in constant fear.  Living like that over time, even without their presence and imput, had me lose hope, thinking I had no other choices except for bad ones, all to keep the family "norm" in place. I ended up making some poor choices for myself.   But using OF specifically is like taking some mental blinders off.

What I'm realizing is that these past poor choices have come from my inner child's projections, reality, and beliefs.  I'm still learning how to love him, correct him responsibly, and be an attentive parent.  The use of OF is challenging some of these old beliefs constantly, as I'm facing some of it each and every day (not too intensely).  But again, I'm seeing it constantly.  

So, thank you for making OF.  We always have choice.  This sub is helping me see that.  

Have you had any personal insights about yourself since the dream?

You are welcome for OF.  Fear is the only thing left holding us back.

After some contemplation, I think this dream is dealing with the point of view of a very early part of my awareness, which was convinced of its own helplessness and powerless not just by fear, but by its interpretation of the chaos I lived through as a young child, which resulted in me believing I was helpless because I had no way to know what was and was not real.  Everything my senses told me was real was contradicted by what the adults around me would say while they were drinking.  Sometimes they would contradict these impressions (when drunk) and sometimes they would not (when sober).  But that part of me is so young that it didn't comprehend the difference or why that difference existed, so it's still dealing with that mindset.  

In other words, I suspect that in some way, that dream was a part of me trying to communicate that it can't do what's being asked of it because there's nothing it perceives to be veritably real for it to act based on.  It is confused as to how to proceed because it doesn't know what is and is not "real".

That is fascinating.  The program was not designed specifically with such a scenario in mind, but it should overcome even this because of how it is designed.